Love Can Heal Everything
by BaybeeG
Summary: Jane loses her stepson, when her husband kills him. Can Maura help Jane though the grief. And will they be able to admit their feeling for each other?
1. Trying to leave

Jane got home from work an hour before her husband Robert Turner did, he was still at work, working a case for the FBI, something to do with a big Drug ring they had just found out about. Jane found her stepson Jason in the living room, she stood leaning against the doorway watching him play on his X box, he was on a shooting game. _Surprise, surprise. _"Hey mom! Look I'm the good guy, like you and..." He didn't want to say the last word, so he jumped it and continued with, "...I'm winning." Jason said without even taking his eyes of the TV screen. "Hey kidda. Yea I can see that. You're good." He was nine year old and every second he spent at home he was on his X box. "Listen Jason. I'm just going to pay the Jodie for looking after you then..." She trailed off as Jason shouted at the TV. _He's getting like his dad everyday._ "...We need to talk Jason, okay?" He didn't reply but Jane knew he had heard her as she could see him tense up. _I guess he finally knows it about to happen. _Jane felt guilty for doing what she so needed to do, she just couldn't handle all the abuse any more, she needed to get her and Jason out of that house alive and she knew it would most than likely be over Robert's dead body. _He's not going to let us go! I have to fight for this. I have to fight to Jason._

By the time Jane walked back into the living room, Jason had already turned off the X box and was sat on the settee watching cartoons. "Is it okay if we talk now kidda, before you're dad is home?" Jason gave a small nod, "You're leaving aren't you?" Jane took a deep breath. "Yes. Jason I can't handle this any more, I'm not strong enough to. Not any more. Go and pack some clothes. Well that is if you want to come with me?" Jane noticed how Jason smile grew. "You're taking me with you?" Jane laughed at him, "Of course, I am. I am not leaving you here." Jason jumped from the settee and gave Jane a tight hug. He started running in the direction of the stairs, then stopped in his tracks, he turned around slowly, "Thanks." Jane gave him a half-hearted smile. "Go, we need to leave before your dad gets back."

Whilst Jason was upstairs getting his clothes together, Jane started to disconnect the X box to take with them. She knew it would make Jason feel better, to have his games to play on. To forget about everything else that was happening. Jane stopped what she was doing as she heard the front door slam shut, hairs standing up on the back of her neck. _We didn't even get through the front door. _Jane turned around to confirm, Robert was home. _How do I get out of this? SHIT! _"What are you doing with Jason's X box?" Robert said whilst put his coat on the dining room table. "Erm, Maura. Yes, Maura asked me and Jason around to hers tonight, for a few hours. Jason wants to take his X box so he can play it on Maura's television. You know he loves playing his games on her massive television." Jane said quite surprised that she had come up with something that sounded believable, well that is until Robert spoke. "Well that's funny, because I have just seen Korsak and he told me that Maura is working a case with them tonight. He also said that you were at home tonight after asking them not to disturb you. So try again, Jane what are you doing with Jason's X box?" Jane tried to step backward knowing it was useless when she felt the television behind her legs. Robert closed the distance with three easy strides and grabbed hold of Jane's wrist. She knew what was coming next, it had become her life five months after saying I Do. It all happened in slow motion as Robert lifted his right hand, curled into a fist and with alarming speed hit Jane straight in her left cheekbone, sending her flying to the floor. She stumbled to try and get back up only to sent back to the floor when she felt Robert kick her in the stomach. She saw a flicker of movement out the corner of her eye. _Jason. He can't keep seeing me like this. We have to get out of here. But how? _"You should know by now Jane that you shouldn't lie to me. Where are you planning to go? Do you really think I'm going to let you go that easily?" That was the last thing Jane heard before being knocked unconscious by Robert's fist. Robert hadn't seen Korsak at all but he knew Jane was lying to him, her eyes gave her away. They always had.

Kirsty was five minute's away from her shift ending at the Police Headquarters switchboard. She had a date tonight with Detective Barry Frost, and her mind started wondering about what she was going to wear. She was brought back to reality when the phone in front off her rang. She picked it up a second later. "How may we help?" She asked. No one answered. "Hello, is there anyone there?" "You need to help us, my dad... he... he won't let us leave." Kirsty guessed the boy's age was around 10 years old. "Okay, young man. Why won't your dad let you leave?"_ Another minute and this call would have gone to someone else. _"He's say he is going to kill her, he doesn't know I'm at home." "Okay. Do you know your address and I'll send a patrol car around to help you." Kirsty got the address and sent radioed it though to the nearest patrol car to that designation. Once they confirmed they could get there, Kirsty went back to the phone call. "Okay, two policemen are on their way to you. I need you to stay on the phone with me until they get there. Okay?" Kirsty heard a mumble of agreement. "What's your name kidda?" "Its Jason." She smiled. "Jason, my name is Kirsty. I need to ask you a few questions okay?" "Okay" Jason replied. "Do you know why your dad is threatening to kill your mom for?" She always hated asking these questions to children, she didn't want them to think about this. "We were leaving him for good, my mom couldn't cope with the hitting any more. She said we needed go get out before he came home from work." Kirsty heard him sniffle and knew he was trying not to cry. "What's your mom's name?" "It's Jane Rizzoli." _Jane Rizzoli why do I know that name. I've heard it before. Frost... Rizzoli... Shit._ "Jason... Jane Rizzoli, is your mom a Detective for Boston PD?" "Yea, how did you know? Do you know her?" "No, I don't know her, but I have heard great things about her from Detective Frost." _I need to tell Frost and Korsak._ She sent a text message to Frost's cell, reading: 'Got Jason on the switchboard. Rizzoli's in trouble. Jason saying his dad is going to kill her. I've let Korsak know as well. Get to her house ASAP.'

Frost had just got out off the shower when he heard his phone ringing, indicating a new text message. He saw it was from Kirsty and opened it. _I hope she isn't cancelling tonight._ His cop instinct kicked in the second he finished reading the message. He threw on some trousers and a tee shirt, grabbed his badge and gun and ran out off his house. He jumped into his car and sped toward Jane's house. He put his phone on loudspeaker through the car and instructed it to call Korsak. Korsak answered on the second ring. "Have you heard about Jane?" Frost asked not even bothering to return the greeting. "I'm on my way there now, I'm about twenty minutes away though, you?" Korsak replied. "I've just left mine, so I'll be there about same time as you." They were both quiet for a few minutes, when Korsak finally broke the tension. "We need to let Maura know. She'll want to know." "I know. I'll stop at the precinct on my way past and see if she's still at work. It's only 7 o'clock, and I remember her saying she was staying late." "Okay." Frost cut of the call just as he rounded the last corner to the precinct. He got out of his car and ran through the lobby of the precinct heading straight for the morgue.

Maura was just finishing the last bit of paperwork when she saw Frost run through the doors. "Maura... thank god... your still here. We need... to get to... Jane's NOW!" Frost managed to get out in between taking deep breaths. "Why? What's happened?" Maura asked already grabbing her bag and heading for the door. "Robert is threatening to kill her. Jason's on the phone with Kirsty. She needs our help." Maura was out the door before Frost could even finish his sentence. They got to Frost's car in record time. Maura didn't ask any more questions she just wanted to get to Jane's.

"Frost... He plays baseball with me at weekends, well when he isn't working. Erm, how long till they get here the shouting is getting worst and he has just got the gun from the drawer in the kitchen." Jason whispered so low that Kirsty had to strain to hear him. "They will be there in a few minutes, Jason. Where are you in the house?" "At the top of the stairs, he still doesn't know I'm here." "We need to keep it that way Jason, if he knows you are there, you will be in danger too." "But it's my mom, she'll need my help." "No, Jason. Listen to me, you're mom will want you to be safe. She is a Detective and she helps people, but at this second if you go in that room, she might not be able to keep you safe. And I bet she'll want that now more than ever. Jason, I know it's hard, but you need to trust me. Okay?" Jason didn't response, instead Kirsty heard Jason mumble something. "Jason, sweetheart. Talk to me." "He's seen me." That was the last thing Kirsty heard before hearing 2 gun shots and a women she presumed to be Jane screaming. Another shot was fired then the screaming came to an abrupt stop. She heard another shot, then the line went dead.


	2. Don't you dare

Korsak arrived at Jane's house, as he was getting out of his car, he heard a gun shot. He covered himself with the still open car door. He heard someone behind him, he spun around with his gun drawn, not knowing what to expect, but ready to fire if need be. He lowered his gun once he saw it was Maura and Frost. He was surprised he hadn't heard another car pull up. He looked at the road and saw Frost's car parked about three houses up. Korsak throw his arm's around Maura once he knew Maura had no intention of stopping there. She needed to get to Jane and Jason. "I can't let you go in there yet, Doc. It's not cleared."

Maura stopped when she felt hands wrap around her and pull he back. She heard Korsak telling her she couldn't go in yet. But she wasn't really paying any attention to him. "That's my best friend in there, I'm going in." She tried to pull away from him, but he was stronger than she was. Still being held firmly in place, she tried a different tactic. "Korsak, you and Frost go in, I'll stay behind you. But I can't not go in. There are shots being fired, I might be able to help until the paramedics get here." Korsak nodded, let go of Maura and told her, "Fine. But, Maura you really need to stay behind us, okay?" Maura nodded slightly, knowing the minute she saw Jane and Jason, she would run to them, like her life depended on it.

As they got to the front door, they heard another shot. Frost tried opening the door but it was locked. "Shit," he mumbled, then added, "we have to kick it in." Maura was rummaging through her bag to try and find her keys, "No, we don't." She whispered. "Jane gave me a copy of her." Maura pushed past both Korsak and Frost to get to the door. She turned the key and pushed the door open. She was prepared to let Korsak and Frost go in first...well that was until Maura's eyes fell on Jason lying on the floor, looking straight at them. "Jason..." Maura shouted, running towards him. He didn't move. Maura knew as soon as she saw the dead look in his eyes that he was gone, but she needed to be sure. She fell down at the side of him and pressed her fingers into his neck to check for a pulse. "Jason...sweetheart, please open your eyes. Please." She started crying, looking up at Korsak and Frost. "He's dead, he's..." She was cut off at the sound of a gun firing.

Frost or Korsak couldn't hold her back this time, as she sprang up and shot towards the living room. She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw Robert on the settee with a bullet hole through his temple, a gun had fell out of his hand and was laid on the floor. It was clear that he had shot himself. She couldn't contain her anger any more. "What the hell did you do to them?" She screamed at Robert's lifeless body. She saw Korsak go over to Robert to check his pulse. "He's dead." Maura turned away, she couldn't look at this monster any more. She needed to find Jane. She left Frost and Korsak in the room with Robert's body and headed in the direction of the adjourning dining room and kitchen. "Oh god...Jane..." Maura half whispered half shouted when she saw Jane leaning against a cupboard door in the kitchen, blood dripping from her best friend's head wound, and her hand holding a towel against her stomach, already covered in blood.

Maura's leg gave way as she got to Jane, she fell to her knees, not paying any attention to the pain as her knees hit a cool granite flooring. "Oh god, Jane...What the hell did he do to you?" She had noticed her friend was still breathing when she first found her seeing the rise and fall of Jane's chest. Maura quickly went into doctor mode as she found fresh towels in the cupboard next to Jane, she gently took the one out of Jane's hand, putting a clean one there to replace it. She turned to find Korsak and Frost looking in their direction, not sure if they were looking at what Maura was doing, or if they were trying to determine whether or not Jane was still alive. "She's got a weak pulse, where the hell is that damn ambulance?" She noticed her voice had risen at the last part. "Should be here in a few minutes." Korsak told her. "She's passed out. Come and hold this in place. Put pressure on it. I need to check her head wound." Korsak walked over and placed his hands on the towel. Maura gently moved Jane's head to the side to get a proper look at the gash in her cheek. "It was cursed by his wedding ring. It doesn't need stitching." Maura was talking more to herself than anyone else. "The one above your eye though, Jane. I'm afraid that will need stitching."

The paramedics after a few minutes later. "Jane, listen to me... You're going to be okay. We'll get you to the hospital and I'll make sure you get the best doctor in Boston looking after you. Okay?" Maura told her, never letting her hand go as the paramedics worked around her. "Jane... Don't you dare leave me." Maura whispered in her ear. "Ma'am, you have to let go of her hand now, she's stable enough to move." Maura looked up at the paramedic who spoke to her. She didn't like him. He seemed inexperienced. "I'm not letting go. I'm going with her." She stood up as she spoke still not letting go of Jane's hand. "Ma'am, I'm afraid you can't come in the ambulance with her, if you're not family. You have already said you're just her friend. I'm sorry, Ma'am. It's the..." He didn't get a chance to finish before Maura's anger came bubbling out. "Look..." She stopped trying to find the right words. "I'm chief medical examiner, Dr Maura Isles. You may have heard about me?" She cut him off before he could even get a word out. "I will have you job by the end off the day." She cut off again not knowing how to finish the sentence. "I mean it, you will be jobless if I ever hear you say it's against the rules to me again. Okay? I don't really care about rules right at this moment. And I must admit that you..." She couldn't believe she was going to say this, but she couldn't seem to stop herself. "...you...you are the most annoying human being I've ever fucking met. I'm tempted not to take you're job just for that."

Both Korsak and Frost gasped at what had just come out of Maura's mouth. They knew she could be tough when she needed to be, but threatening to get the paramedic fired well... that was something Jane or one of them would do. Not Maura. Still it seemed to scare the paramedic, as they saw him turn to them both for support. "She's means it man. Let her travel with Jane. Or you will be out of a job before you can even get back to the hospital." Korsak said, whilst winking at Maura. "Fine, let's go." The paramedic whispered, looking like a wounded animal. "Thanks." Maura mumbled to Korsak. "Hey, no problem Doc, maybe a little bit off us is rubbing of off you after all. We will be by the hospital soon."


	3. Calling Jane's parents

Maura reluctantly had to let Jane's hand go when they got to the hospital and Jane was rushed straight into surgery. "Don't leave me please." Maura whispered to Jane before she let her go.

Maura walked out of the hospital and searched her bag for her phone. As she pulled it out, she didn't have a clue how she was going to let Jane's parents know about all this. She found the number she needed in her phone book and pressed ring. It hang five times before Angela picked up the phone.

"Frank...will you get that" Angela shouted at her husband. In reply she heard him snoring. "I'll take that as a no." She chuckled to herself. "Hello." She didn't hear anyone reply. "Hello...is someone there?" She asked starting to get a little mad. "Erm...Angela..." Angela had to strain to hear the voice. "Maura dear... is that you? You have to speak up I can't hear you very well." She was starting to get a tiny bit worried at why Maura was phoning her, but not talking. "I'm at the hospital Angela. I think you and Frank should come down here as soon as possible." Angela spun around. "Frank... get up, we need to go to the hospital." Angela shouted. "Which one?" Angela asked Maura. "It's Jane...I'll explain when you get here. She's in surgery at the minute, she's stable, but she has been shot." Angela turned to see Frank getting up. "We'll be right there Maura, honey." "Drive carefully." Maura whispered back.

Twenty-five minutes Maura was sat on a bench outside the hospital entrance waiting for Angela and Frank to come. She had her head on her lap, she had to admit she looked a mess. She had Jane's blood on her clothes, but she couldn't find the strength to change into the scrubs one of the nurses had handed her. She jumped at the feel of a hand touch her shoulder and squeeze. "Angela...Frank..." Angela gave her a small smile. Maura stood a few seconds later. Suddenly realizing she should have changed her clothes as the small cry escaped Angela's mouth. "Oh...I'm sorry, I should have changed, but I haven't have the strength to move." Angela looked away, she couldn't stand to look at that blood knowing it was her only daughter's. "I'll go and cha..." She was cut of by Angela. "How is she?" She had turned to face Maura again. "She's still in surgery, no change. They will let us know when she is out. I'll take you to the family room before I change." Maura lead the way through the hospital and opened a door into the family room, "they will come and tell you anything when they know. I'll let them know that your here. I'll be back in a few..." A horrible thought sprung into Maura's head, she suddenly needed some some air. "Maura...honey." Angela spoke, seeing Maura suddenly back away. "Maura...look at me." Once Maura complied, Angela continued, "what's wrong?" Maura felt the tears sting her eyes as she tried to hold them in. "I'm sorry. All this time I've... I've been presuming you want me to come back. I didn't even realise that you probably don't." Angela and Frank exchanged a look then both chuckled a little. "Maura, of course you're welcome to come back. You're family." Maura smiled then left, before the tears fell.

Maura walked back into the room where Angela and Frank were fifteen minutes later wearing the scrubs the nurse gave her earlier. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail and for the first time Angela and Frank noticed she wasn't wearing any make-up. "A nurse came in earlier and told us that she is still hanging in there and she should be out of surgery soon." Maura nodded and slumped back into a chair. "Maura honey, have you called Robert to let know him that Janie is here?" Maura could feel the anger building up inside of her at just the mention of his name. "He's the person who put her in here in the first place." Maura whispered. "What are you talking about?" Maura looked at Frank and then at Angela, she didn't know how to tell them. "Robert shot Jane. That's why she is here. Our switchboard got a call earlier from Jason, the cruisers responded but me, Korsak and Frost got there first. Jason..." she looked away from both of them. "Oh god...No. Maura, is Jason...Is Jason okay?" Maura couldn't hold the tears in any more. As they silently fell down her cheeks, she continued, "He's dead. We didn't get to them in time. Robert shot himself. I found Jane in the kitchen holding a blood soak towel to her stomach." Angela fell into the seat behind her while Frank just stood there as white as a ghost. "Does Jane... does Jane know about Jason?" Frank asked. "No... or at least I don't think so, she was unconscious when I found her and the shootings only happened a few minutes before we..." They all fell silent as the door opened and a doctor walked in. "Hi, Mr ans Mrs Rizzoli? I'm Dr Luke Nolan. I'm the doctor looking after your daughter." Both Rizzoli's shook his hand. "Dr Maura Isles," Maura gave him a weak smile. "Jane is out of surgery and is in the ICU, she's doing well." All three of them let out a sigh. "Can we see her?" Frank asked. "Of course you can, follow me." He lead the way to Jane's room, with Maura keeping behind them all.

Both Angela and Frank entered the room and walked straight over to Jane. Maura stood at the door watching them. _Why didn't you come to me for help Jane. I could have helped you. _Frank noticed Maura wasn't in the room with them, he saw her still standing at the door watching them. He saw her shake her head and walk away...

Maura thought she would let Frankie know how his sister was getting on. He was on a stag do with a few of his and Jane's cop buddies in Mexico, and Maura knew they would want to know that she was going to be okay. The phone rang four times before Frankie picked it up. "Maura, how is she?" She could hear the worry in his voice. "She's doing okay. She will be okay." She heard him sigh in relief and tell everyone she was okay. "We're all trying to get a early flight home so we can be there with you all." Maura knew that Jane would hate it if they had to cut their trip short. "No, don't. I'll keep you updated. She would hate it if you all came home early." She laughed when she heard him try to protest, but she knew that he knew it was true. "Okay, fine. We'll stay. We'll be back in a week. Look after her for me." "I will do. Oh and Frankie... enjoy yourself. Take care." As Maura ended the call she saw Angela walking towards her.

"Maura, there you are. I have searched for you everywhere." Angela smiled weakly as she sat down next to Maura on the bench. "Hey." The weather had changed in a matter of minutes and Maura suddenly realized that she was freezing. "You're cold." Angela stated as she handed her Jane's jacket. "Where did you get this?" Maura asked, she knew she didn't bring one of Jane's jackets with her, and Jane wasn't wearing one when she found her. "Janie forgot it a few days ago when she came around. I thought she might want it back." Maura swung the coat around her shoulders not bothering to put it on properly. She inhaled deeply smelling the scent of Jane. "How come you didn't come in the room? You know you're welcome to." Maura turned to look at Angela, tears glistening her eyes. "I don't know." Angela placed her hand on top of Maura's, it had just started to rain, "Shall we go back inside honey, we'll get soaked through if we stay out here, looks like a storm is coming." Maura nodded but didn't stand up straight away. Angela pulled her up and wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulder. "Come on."


	4. Three Days Later

"She is doing excellent, I've just stopped the medicine that was keeping her in a coma to give her body a chance to heal. She is also breathing on her own now. She could come around any time now. But I have to tell you we have no way of knowing when she will wake up. It could take a few hours or a few days. It's entirely up to her." "Thanks doc." Frank and Angela said at the same time. Maura was asleep in the chair next to Jane's bed holding her hand. She hadn't left Jane's since she walked into Jane's room. "Any chance you can get her to go home for her to sleep properly?" Frank asked Angela as soon as Dr Nolan had left. Angela laughed, "come on Frank, you know as well as I do that she is stubborn, she won't leave till Jane leaves this..." She was cut off when Maura grumbled "I'm not going anywhere." They both at her sleepy response. "You can't keep sleeping here Maura, surely you can't be comfortable." "No, you're right, I'm not. But...but...if it was me in that bed in a coma, Jane wouldn't leave me on my own. She would stay, she would sleep in this chair, she would hold my hand and...and she would be here when I woke up. That's exactly what I'm going to do." Maura knew they wouldn't argue with her not when they both knew what Maura said was the truth.

_**Three days later**_

_Someone's holding my hand. I want to open my eyes to find out who but I can't the light is too much for me to bare. My boding is sore. My stomach is killing me. I can't remember anything but I do know I'm in a hospital and by the pain in my stomach I know that I'm the patient. I try to open my eyes again. The lights aren't as bright now. I turn my head slightly to see who is holding my hand. It's Maura. She is in the chair next to my bed with her head resting next to our hands. I move my hand slightly hoping she will wake up. It doesn't work. I hear a voice..._

Jane turns to see a Doctor walking in her room. "I'm Dr Luke Nolan. How are you feeling Detective?" Jane smiled weakly. "Like I've been hit by a bus. What happened?" She saw Luke look from her to Maura and she knew he would only tell her the medical side of things. "You were shot in the stomach, you're very lucky. Got a bad knock to the head and a few cuts and bruises." Jane glanced at Maura. "What is she going to tell me when she wakes up? I can't remember anything." Jane flinched with pain when she felt Luke's hand on her stomach. "Ouch that fucking hurt." Luke smiled at her. "I need to check and changed the bandages, it might hurt a little, okay?" He waited until Jane nodded her head and added, "go ahead."

After Dr Nolan had left Jane fell back into a fitful sleep. She glanced at the clock on the wall and realised she had only been asleep for forty-five minutes. She noticed Maura was still asleep and decided to try and wake her up. "Maura...wake up." Jane shook Maura hand. "Wake up, Maur." After a few unsuccessful minutes of trying to wake her best friend up, Jane gives up and tries to get some more sleep.

_I'm just finishing up my last bit of paperwork when Frost comes running into the morgue fighting for breath, he is trying to tell me something about Jane. Once he finishes I grab my bag and practically run to the car, Frost hot on my tail. When we are in the car neither one of us speak we both just desperately want to get to Jane's. I'm running towards Jane, she is laying on the floor in the kitchen of her house bleeding excessively from a gun shot wound. I can't stop the bleeding. I try everything in my power to stop it but the more I try the more the blood leaves her body. Her eyes flutter open, she holds my gaze. "I love you Jane." I tell her. Her eyes close again and I know she is gone._

Jane's startled awake when she hears Maura screaming. It takes her a few seconds to remember where she is, as her surroundings come into focus she places a smoothing hand on top of Maura's hair and whispers, "Maura ,come on. Wake up." When Maura stirred she added a bit louder. "Maura, wake up." Once she sees Maura's eyes flutter open, she gives the best smile she can and adds, "Hey," She laughs when she sees Maura jump, but soon regrets it as sharp pains rip through her stomach. "Ouch. Shit." She places her hand on her stomach as Maura stands up. "You're awake. Jane...please tell me I'm not...Are you okay? Do you need a doctor?" Jane raised an eyebrow. "You're a doctor Maura, But I'm fine." She glanced at Maura who was now stood at the bottom of her bed, she saw how red Maura's eyes were and knew she had been crying. She could tell from the look on Maura's face that she was about to start again. "Jane...do you remember what happened?" Jane shook her head once as a way of answering. Maura took a deep breath. "Jane...we...I need to tell you something."

For the next fifteen minutes Maura filled Jane in on what she knew had happened. Jane had gone as white as a ghost and she looked like she would be sick any second. "Jane...are you okay?" Jane looked at her and for the first time Maura saw Jane crying. "Jason?" Jane asked. Maura had been dreading this part she couldn't find the words to tell her best friend that he had died. "I'm sorry Jane...he..." She was cut off by Jane screaming, "Nnnnooooo." As Jane started ripping the tubes from her body and trying to climb out of bed, Angela and Frank walked into the room. Maura didn't even notice them walking in as she ran around to the side of the bed Jane was trying to climb out. "Jane stop." Maura shouted. As she stood in front of Jane, she placed both her hands on either side of Jane's face and made her look at her. Maura bent down a bit so she were at eye level with Jane. She saw Angela and Frank start walking towards them but she shook her head no. She knew if Jane saw them, in the moment she was crying she would have to get away from them. They had never seen their daughter show such emotion before, which is why they understood Maura's need for them not to come any closer. "Jane...listen to me okay." Jane stopped for a second, tears falling down her face. "Jane. There was nothing you could have done. You loved him, Jane we all did. But you have to stop this," Maura picked up a tube that should have been in Jane's arm. "He wouldn't want you to do this. He knew you loved him, you gave him everything he ever wanted." Jane had stood up before Maura could stop her. "I need to see him Maur, I need to tell him I'm sorry. That I love him." Jane's legs gave way before she could take another step and fell to the floor taking Maura with her. "He knew Jane. Believe me, he knew." With that Maura pulled her friend towards her and held her as she cried her heart out. She heard a soft click as the door shut and Maura knew that Angela and Frank had left her to look after Jane. She didn't mind.

Half an hour later Maura had managed to talk Jane on getting back in bed. "Jane you've torn you're stitches, I'll go and get Dr Nolan to stitch it back up okay?" Jane didn't say anything so Maura started walking to the door. "Maura..." Maura stopped as her hand fell on the door knob, she wasn't sure Jane had even said anything. "You do it. You're a doctor, I want you to do it. I don't want to see anyone right now. Please Maur. I need..." Maura walked back over to the bed and leaned over to hug Jane. "Of course, I'll do it. I'll be right back." Jane grabbed Maura's wrist before she could walk off. "Don't..." "Jane. I'll be back in a few minutes, I've got to get everything I need to be able to stitch you back up. Jane I won't be long." Maura came back fifteen minutes later to find Jane crying again. She stitched Jane's wound back together in silence. "You need to get some rest." Maura said as she walked over to the window and looked out. "Will you stay? I don't want to be on my own right now." Maura had never seen or heard Jane look and sound so weak. Even after Hoyt, Maura had never seen Jane like this. It was like she had lost her all her fight out of her. "You know I wasn't going anywhere Jane. You didn't need to ask." It had started to get dark outside and Maura glanced at the clock it was six-fifteen, the day had flown by. She closed the blinds so it was dark in the room then walked over to the chair next to Jane's bed and fell in it rather than sit in it. She found Jane's hand and held it. "Get some rest Jane. I'm not going anywhere."

Once Jane had fell asleep Angela and Frank came in the room. "How is she holding up?" Frank asked looking at Maura with dark circles around his eyes. Maura looked between them both and realised that they hadn't had enough sleep in the past few days. None of them had. "She hurting. She wants to go and see Jason." Maura looked back to Jane sleeping, for the first time since Jane woke up Maura thought she looked at peace. "You both need to go home and get a proper nights sleep. I'm staying here so she won't be alone." Angela placed her hand on Maura's shoulder and gave a soft squeeze. "You need sleep as much as us. You go home we will stay. Jane will understand." Maura put her free hand on top of Angela's, "thank you. I appreciate the offer, but I'm going to stay. I've told Jane I'll be here when she wakes up. You two go home and get a good nights rest and we'll see you in the morning." Both Angela and Frank nodded, "thank you." Both knowing it would be pointless to argue with Maura at this moment in time.


	5. Maura needs help

For the next few days Jane barely said anything to anyone, she only spoke when Dr Nolan entered or one of the nurses and then she only asked them when she could go home. Maura barely left her side and when she did she made sure it wasn't for long. Even Angela and Frank couldn't get a word out of her.

Maura had been sat in Jane's room for nearly a week only going home to take a shower and feed Bass when he wasn't being looked after by Korsak or Frost. She had tired everything to get Jane talking but Jane never did. She just laid in her hospital bed staring out the window watching life go by. Maura knew she blamed herself for what happened to Jason, and she didn't have a clue how to stop Jane thinking like that. Maura stood up and started walking to the door, she stopped once she placed her hand on the door knob and turned back to face Jane. "I'm just going to get a coffee, I'll be back in a bit. Do you want me to get you anything?" Jane didn't answer.

Maura got to the café next to the hospital and ordered her coffee. She needed to speak to Korsak, she just had no idea what she would say. Maybe he knew how to get Jane speaking to them again. She glanced at her watch, it was 3:57, she decided to head to the precinct. Korsak would still be there.

Korsak and Frost were in the middle of eating a pizza and catching up with paperwork, when Maura walked in. "Hey Doc." They both said at the same time. She smiled. "Hi." Frost handed her the box. "Pizza?" Maura shook her head. "Is Janie okay?" Korsak asked. "Yes. No. I mean...she won't to talk to anyone. It's like she has given up since I told her about Jason. I don't know what to do to help her. She won't let me in. She won't let me help her." Korsak had moved to her side while she was rambling and placed a hand on his shoulder. "She's hurting, Maura. She just needs time. Do you want me to try and talk to her?" Maura looked at him with tears in her eyes and he immediately pulled her into a hug as she silently cried in front of Korsak and Frost, "Would you?" Korsak chuckled. "Off course I will. Do you want us to go now?" Maura nodded as she wiped her tears away. "Angela and Frank aren't there. They have just left to pick Frankie up from the airport. They are taking Frankie straight home and coming back first thing in the morning." Korsak walked back over to his desk, pulled his badge out and clipped his gun to his side, grabbed his jacket and his keys and walked back over to Maura. "You ready?" Maura nodded. "Frost, come on, this might work better with you there as well." Frost grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and walked over to them. "Lets go, I'll drive." As they walked outside to the car, Maura stopped dead in her tracks. "I'm going to walk back. I'll see you there." "Maura, don't be daft. It's raining. You'll get soaked through." It took her a few seconds to realize that Frost was right, it was raining. "I'll walk. I need some time, and besides I have been sat in that chair for days now, my legs could use the excise." Frost shook his head as he took off his suit jacket. "Fine, but if you insist on walking, put this on." He handed her his jacket. She was to tired to argue with him, so she took the jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Thanks Frost." Frost smiled at her. "We'll see you in a bit. Okay?" Maura nodded as she started walking off towards the hospital.

Twenty minutes later Korsak and Frost was in walking into Jane's hospital room with three cups of coffee. Frost put one on the bedside table for Jane. "Hey Janie. How you feeling?" Both Frost and Korsak looked at each other when Jane didn't answer. "Jane, you might as well drink that coffee cause we are going to talk. Even if you don't talk back, you're going to listen." Jane reached for the coffee. For once she didn't argue, she decided it would be best for them to say what they wanted to say, so they would leave her alone.

They sat in silence while they finished their coffee's, Korsak noticed Jane wouldn't look at them all she did was sit staring out of the window. "So Janie, how you been feeling lately?" Korsak waited a few minutes for Jane to reply, when she didn't he carried on. "Okay, so no small talk. Shall we get right to the point then?" Still no reply. "I'm going to take that as a yes. You know by the end of this you will speak to us." Frost grabbed a chair and sat at the other side of Jane while Korsak did the same on the other side. "Right, let me get this straight. Maura has spent every day here with you. By your side all the time. She was the one who made sure you had the best medical care, at any cost. She is the one who has been keeping Frankie and the boys updated, so they wouldn't cut the stag do short." Korsak looked at Frost for help once her realized he wasn't getting anywhere just yet. "I'm going to get some more coffee, this might take longer than I thought." Korsak muttered to Frost.

Once Korsak had left, Frost started talking. "You know Jane. We're all just worried about you. We know you prefer to act tough when you're around people, but now you... you don't need to be tough. Jane you need to grief, you need to start letting people in. We worry about you. We all do." Jane looked at him, she knew he had a point, she did need to grief, but she also knew that if she did she would never stop. She would crumble and at the minute she didn't see a way back once she did. So she held it all in. "Jane. Maura cried in front off me and Korsak today. For the first time." He saw Jane look at the door. "She's not here. She came and got us then decided, instead of driving back with us she wanted to walk back." He saw her look back at the window and was shocked when she she spoke. "But it's raining outside?" He nodded his head, turned back to the door as he heard Korsak re-enter, carrying another three cups of coffee. "She said she needed some time." Korsak said. Jane nodded weakly, suddenly wishing her best friend was by her side.

After handing out the coffees Korsak sat back down and looked at Jane who was currently drinking her coffee and staring out the window, at the rain now coming down faster. "So Janie, you ready to talk to us yet?" Korsak asked. "I don't really have a choice do I?" Jane replied, still not looking away from the window. "Well, you do. We either talk or we don't?" Jane finally torn her eyes away from the window to look at them both. "Fine, we'll talk. But I'm only doing this so you finally leave me alone. I don't see why you all don't understand, I just want to..." Korsak cut her off when he stood up and pointed to the window. She looked confused. "Enough Janie, okay? Why don't you get it? You haven't said one word to you're parents, to Maura, to us. When is this going to stop? When are you going to let us in? Hell, even let one of us in." Korsak couldn't take any more, he stated walking towards the door, but stopped and spun around to face Jane again. "You know you're like a daughter to me, Jane. But this...this is hurting me more than when you requested a new partner. I'm sorry, but I can't watch you do this to us all. I have never seen Maura so distraught in the few years I have known her. I can't see her handling much more of this." He walked back over to the bed and gently put his finger under her chin to make her look at him. He knew there and then that he had said all the things she needed to hear. "Don't ruin you're friendship with her. She needs you as well, she just doesn't know how to ask for help." With all that said Korsak looked at Frost and nodded his head towards the door, "come on, lets leave her to it." Frost looked at Jane, "You going to be okay?" Jane nodded. "I'll be okay. Bye guys." As she watched them walk to the door, she added a bit louder, to make sure they heard her. "Frost, Korsak." She waited for them to turn around, then added, "thank you, both." They nodded, then left Jane alone.

Jane looked at the clock once Korsak and Frost had gone. It read 6:15. Maura had been gone for nearly 2 an half hour. Jane laid down and again looked to the window, it was still raining and Maura was out there somewhere.

Maura walked into Jane's room to find Jane asleep. As she walked toward the window, she stopped at the bottom of Jane's bed, for a few minutes she just stood there staring at her best friend. "I miss you." She muttered, then went to shut the blind. It was 9:30pm and Maura couldn't believe how time had flew by. Jane was starting to stir and Maura knew she would wake up in a few minute. Jane felt someone was in the room with her as her shot open. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." Jane took a few deep breaths as she realized it was just Maura in the room. "What time is it?" Maura stood staring for a few minutes. It was the first time that she had heard Jane's voice since she told her about Jason. A lone tear fell silently down her cheek as she walked over to Jane, "it's 9:35." Jane nodded. "When did you come back?" "About five minutes ago."

Jane sat up and leaned over to wipe the tear off Maura's cheek. "Where have you been? I don't believe it took you all this time to get coffee." Maura looked away, "I went to the station, then went home to take a shower. Then I planned on coming straight back here, but for some reason, I...I ended up in the park sat on a bench. I didn't realize what time it was until it turned dark. I came straight here." Jane looked at what Maura was wearing, "you went to the park in scrubs, Maura?" Maura shook her head, "no. My clothes were wet. Dr Nolan saw me before he left and got me some scrubs, again. I changed before I came in here." Jane nodded, "what that's in you're hand?" She saw Maura visibly tense and felt her own panic rise. "I didn't even remember I had it in my hand." Maura muttered to herself. "Maura, let me see it." Jane said firmly. Maura reluctantly gave her the picture. Jane felt the tears sting her eyes, but she still refused to let them fall. "I saw it when I went home, picked it up then went to the park, to...I don't know why." Jane nodded, then put the picture of her, Maura and Jason, sitting on a park bench, on the bedside table. Neither one off them spoke as Maura placed her hand on Jane's bent knee.

Nearly an hour went passed before Jane broke the silence. "You went there to feel close to him?" Maura mumbled "yes." Jane looked at her and gave a small smile. "I can't...I..." Jane stopped, she didn't know what to say. Maura didn't push her to continue, she realized earlier that Jane would talk to her when she was ready. "Go to sleep Jane. You need you're rest." Jane laid back down on the bed and looked at Maura. "So do you." Jane told her. "I'm fine. Get some rest." Jane nodded and closed her eyes as Maura held her hand. "Goodnight Jane." She closed her own eyes as Jane responded, "Night Maura."


	6. Jane's dicharged

It was 6am when Frankie woke up at home in his childhood bed. He needed to see Jane. He got showered and threw on some clothes. His parents were still asleep so he left them a note to let them know where he was.

Frankie stopped to grab three cups of coffee from the café next to the hospital, before he headed to Jane's room. He knew Maura would be there. He stopped at the nurses station to find out which room she was in. "Morning, I'm erm...I'm here to see Jane Rizzoli. Can you tell me what room she is in please?"

A nurse glanced up at him from the computer screen. "I'm sorry. But visiting hours don't start for another few hours."

Frankie looked for a name badge on the nurses uniform, once he read it, he said, "I'm sorry, Steph. I'm Jane's brother. I haven't seen her in a few weeks, I've been away on a stag do. I've just got back. I need to see her. Please..."

The nurse chuckled, "Oh, go on then. She's in room...doesn't matter, come on I'll show you."

"I owe you one, Steph. Thank you." He gave her a small smile. "How is she doing?" Frankie asked, concerned.

Steph glanced over her shoulder, smiling. "She's doing okay, her wounds are healing great. Dr Nolan is going to discharge her today, well he says that depends on where is she going to stay once she leaves here. Dr Isles has rarely left her side."

When they got to the room, Steph gently pushed the door open as she and Frankie walked in. "This is what it's been like from the minute Detective Rizzoli came in. Dr Isles in a chair asleep next to Jane's bed, holding her hand."

"That doesn't surprise me, at all. I'm going to take a guess and say that Maura, hasn't once left when you told her too."

Steph chuckled lightly, and Frankie couldn't help but think how much he liked that sound. He was pulled from his thoughts as Steph answered, "you're right. Dr Isles is very stubborn. She wouldn't leave Jane's side at all, until she woke up and then it was only for half an hour, tops."

"I'm not stubborn." Maura grunted. Both Frankie and Steph laughed and added at the same time, "yes, you are." Frankie placed the coffee cups on the table next to the door.

Maura let go off Jane's hand as she stood up and stretched, she turned around to face Frankie and Steph. She walked over and pulled Frankie in for a hug. Frankie was shocked, Maura had never hugged him before, well not with her pulling him in first. He wrapped his arms around her. "Hey Doc. How are you?" He pulled back so he could she her face.

"I'm okay, Frankie. Thank you. How are you? It's good to have you back. We've missed you." Maura let her hands fall to her sides as they both let go off each other. "I'm good. It's good to be back."

Maura looked at Steph. She had been in the hospital to long because she knew all of the nurses by name. Well at least the ones who looked after Jane. "Morning Steph." Maura smiled at the nurse.

"Morning, Dr Isles." Steph replied as Frankie gave her a cup of coffee.

"Thank you, Frankie." She looked back from Frankie to Steph and laughed a little. "Steph, stop calling me Dr Isles. Please, just call me Maura. I don't know why you have to keep calling me Dr." She laughed again as Steph started blushing. "I'm sorry, Dr...I mean Maura." Maura placed a hand on Steph's arm, as she started chuckling again.

Jane woke up an hour later, sweating and screaming, with Maura holding her hand whispering that everything was going to be okay. "Maura..."

"Jane, calm down. Please, honey. You're safe." Jane stopped screaming as tears ran down her face, Maura started wiping them away. "I'm sorry." Jane mumbled.

"Don't be. Someone's here to see you, he's just nipped out to get some coffee's. He should be back any minute." Maura told her. Jane looked at her confused.

"Frankie?" Maura nodded. "I can't see him, he is going to hate me for not telling him. I can't..." She was cut off when Maura gave her a stern look. "He won't hate you, Jane. He loves you. He's coming in this room whether you like it or not. He's not seen his sister in a few weeks. No-one can stop him. And I'm definitely not going to try." Jane nodded, she knew Maura was right.

Dr Nolan came in a few minute later and asked to speak to Maura privately. Both Jane and Maura seemed totally confused by it, but Maura agreed. She stood up at let go off Jane's hand. "I'll be back as soon as I can." Maura told her, then left.

Outside Dr Nolan took Maura to his office. "Please, Dr Isles, have a seat."

Maura sat down on the chair next to his desk and looked around his office. There was awards and certificates framed all around, she looked back at him and smiled. "Erm...Dr Nolan. Can I ask what this is about?"

He laughed, "Of course. The thing is...Erm...Jane asked me yesterday if I would discharge her. She really wants to get out of here."

Maura laughed. "I know."

"Anyway, I think she is ready. It's just that with her injury I won't discharge her unless I know she will look after herself. And with her only just starting to talk again, I think she will or could easily fall back into that routine." He coughed. "Sorry, I'm getting a cold."

Maura laughed. "It's okay. Jane has her family around her. She won't fall back into the routine again. I know she won't. I told her yesterday morning anyway, that when she gets out of here, she's staying with me. Just so I can keep an eye on her. I know her, she will want to get back to work straight away."

Dr Nolan nodded, "that's my other concern. Her work. She is going to rush to get..."

Maura looked at him and cut him off. "Dr Nolan, I understand you're concern okay. I really do. I've thought the same. But the truth is, if you think she is ready to go then discharge her. She has agreed to come home with me, she will take as much time as she needs to take to get better. I won't let her go back to work or do anything that I know might hurt her."

Dr Nolan nodded, "all right then, I'll get the papers for her to sign, then she can go home tonight if that's okay with you?"

Maura smiled. "Yes, that's great. I'll go and tell Jane the good news." Maura stood up and left, heading back to Jane's room with the biggest smile on her face.

"What are you so happy about?" Jane asked Maura, when she walked back into the room. Maura shook her head as the smile disappeared. It didn't feel right to Maura that she was smiling like this knowing everything that Jane had been through. Maura walked over to the window and stood looking out at Boston, she had to admit the view was pretty good from this room. She was stood there looking out and listening to Frankie and Jane argue about how Frankie fancies Steph. "I've got to get off Janie. I'm working this afternoon. I'll stop by after my shift."

Jane laughed, "not a problem baby bro. I'll see you later. Have a good day. Oh and Frankie, be safe." She smiled.

Maura looked at Frankie. "Erm...Frankie, you will have to come back to mine tonight." She smiled at the raised eyebrow from Jane. "Jane's getting discharged and coming back to mine tonight."

"Really?" Jane asked. Maura just nodded. "Thanks great Janie. I'll see you tonight." Frankie leaned over and gave Jane a hug while whispering in her ear, just loud enough for Maura to still hear. "I'll bring us some beer."

"Not a chance, Frankie." Maura growled. Jane laughed at her best friends reaction. "Oh but Frankie..." Jane said looking at her brother, "...that means you aren't going to see Steph again." She laughed again as Frankie playful hit her arm. Frankie said his goodbye to Maura then left.

Jane looked back at Maura, to realise that she had tears in her eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?" She asked, concerned. She carefully climbed out of bed and took unsteady steps towards Maura. Maura didn't realize Jane was out of bed until she felt an hand on her shoulder.

"Jane..." Maura burst out in tears.

"Maura, talk to me, please. What's up?"

Maura pulled herself together and whispered, "that was the first time I've heard you laugh. I've seen you smile so many times today. There was a time I thought I would never get to see you smile, or hear you laugh again." Jane pulled her in for hug, suddenly realizing she had gone nearly all morning without thinking about it all. Without thinking about Jason. Maura felt Jane tense up and she Jane had come crashing back down again. Jane tried to pull away but Maura already had her arms wrapped around her and pulled her back in, feeling like she was holding on for life.

…

Maura had just ended the phone call to the Rizzoli household to let them know that Jane was leaving the hospital sometime today, she also told them to be at her house at about seven-thirty, where dinner would be ready for them all. Maura knew Angela wasn't happy about Jane staying with her instead of her family, but decided tonight she would make everything okay with them all again. Jane and Angela had a huge argument yesterday about where Jane was going to stay once she was discharged. Tonight everything would be okay with them all again. She texted Frankie to tell him the plans.

Maura walked back into Jane's room to find Jane fully clothed in a Maura's black suit trousers, a white shirt and her black Tuxedo suit waistcoat. She gulped at the sight of her best friend, looking her up and down before realizing Jane had said something to her. "Erm...sorry. What did you say?" Maura said forcing herself to focus on Jane and not on her thoughts.

Jane looked at her confused, "I said, can we get out of her now?"

Maura nodded. "You look...wow. I never thought you would pick that to wear. You look..." _Hot. How am I meant to tell you that suit looks hot on you. You look hot in that suit. Wow._ Maura shook her head as she looked at Jane.

Jane laughed at her. "You gave me two options Maura. One was this, or the other was a dress. Not that I don't like the dress, cause I do. It's just I don't wear dresses. So I went for this. I don't see why you couldn't just get me some of my clothes." The truth was Jane was glad Maura didn't get her some of her clothes, she wouldn't have heard Maura say that she looked...how did Maura put it...Wow. Jane looked back at Maura, "Who's is this suit?" She smiled at Maura's confused look.

Maura didn't want to go back to Jane's house. It would suit her just fine if she never had to see it again, let alone walk through it, knowing what he did to her best friend. To get any of Jane's clothes out of that house, would have killed Maura. "It's mine, Jane."

"Not what I meant Maura. I meant which designer?"

"Oh..." Maura giggled. "It's Donna Karen. Do you like it?"

Jane nodded, "yea, I do. But I think I would like it better if it wasn't putting pressure on my stomach."

Maura smiled and walked over to her, she placed her hands on Jane's stomach and unbuttoned the waistcoat. She smiled at Jane once she undid the buttons and took a step back. "Better?" She asked. Jane couldn't answer, so she just nodded. "Let's go then." Maura headed to the door and glanced back over her shoulder to see Jane still stood there, not moving. "You coming, Jane?" Maura said loudly, pulling Jane from her thoughts. Jane nodded and walked towards Maura. "Lets go, I want...no I need to get out of here."


	7. Four Jersey's

"Make yourself at home." Maura told Jane, helping her walk to the couch. Once Jane was settled down Maura gave her a bottle of water and her pain medication. "What do you want for dinner? And before you say you're not hungry just remember that I'll force feed you if I have to. You need to keep you're strength up."

"Yea, Doc. Can we just order in? I really want some Chinese, it feels like forever since I have had some proper food." Jane laughed as she saw the horrid look on Maura's face. "Okay, I know it isn't healthy, but I figured, with it being my first day day out of the hospital you would at least let me eat whatever I wanted to."

"Okay, fine. You win." She saw Jane's smile widen. "But I don't know if our guests will appreciate being fed Chinese, do you?"

"Why not, I would never turn down Chinese." Jane said, not really paying attention to what Maura just told her, she was to busy trying to get comfy. Once she was, her brain caught up with what Maura had just said. "Wait, what? Maura...which guests?" Jane asked confused. "Maura." Jane tried to shout. "Who have you invited around?"

"You're family. You need to sort everything out with you're mother. I know you're family means the world to you, but I also know that you're stubborn, and you won't talk to her unless someone pushes you. So that's what I'm doing."

"I can't be bothered to argue with you Maura. But I will tell you know, that tonight might not go as you planned it to."

"Why?" Maura asked.

"Because...my ma didn't want me to stay here, because I know she will try and get me to go back with them, because..." She stopped when she saw the look on her best friend's face, Maura was hurt. "Maura, it has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with her. She likes to take care of people. She's not used to not being here to do everything herself." She the blonde a small smile. "What time are we expecting them?"

Before Maura could tell Jane that they were expected any second now, the doorbell rang. "Now? Maura..." Jane said. "Now." Maura confirmed as she headed towards the door.

…

"I'll go and order and food now that everyone has decided. Jane, are you sure Frankie will want this. We can wait for him to arrive first." Maura asked, standing up and walking towards the kitchen. "He'll eat that, it's his favourite." Jane said. Frankie had gone to Korsak's to pick Jo up, he knew how much Jane had wanted to see her.

Maura was on the phone when she saw Frankie walk up her driveway, Jo running to get to Maura's door first. Before he could ring the doorbell, the door opened to reveal Maura standing there smiling. "Come in," she closed the door before she turned to find him still standing there, "go through, there in the lounge. I'm just ordering our dinner." He nodded then left her to it, scooping Jo up in his arms he headed towards the lounge. The first thing he noticed was how relieved Jane looked when he walked in. He knew it had already started, Angela was trying to Jane to come home. He gently placed a very excited Jo next to her as he bent down and gave Jane a kiss on her cheek. "Hey, how are you?"

Jane had never been so relieved in her life until the moment she saw Frankie walk in carrying Jo. She looked at him and rolled her eyes, "I'm doing okay," he smiled brightly at the sight of her rolling her eyes and whispered "you knew it would happen." He winked at her as he started to turn towards their parents. "Hey, Ma. Pop." He gave his mother a kiss on her cheek. "So what did I miss? What we having for dinner?"

"Chinese." Jane said, tickling behind Jo's ears. "I've missed you, Jo." She told her dog. "Don't worry Frankie, I ordered you favourite." 

"Thanks."

"All ordered. Delivery will be in about forty-five minutes. Can I get anyone a refill?" Maura asked, walking back into the living room. Both Angela and Frank shook their heads.

"Is it okay if I grab a beer?" Frankie asked.

"I'll get you one Frankie. Jane do you want anything?"

Jane looked up to see Maura waiting for an answer to the question she hadn't heard. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you would like me to get you something?"

"Oh...erm...no I'm okay thank you."

Once they were all seated in the lounge, conversation flowed quite easily. Well that was until Jane tried to stand up on her own. She grunted in pain, as she fell back down on the couch, successfully stopping Frank in the middle of a joke. All eyes turned to look at her.

Both Maura and Angela was at Jane's side a few seconds later. "Janie," Angela said panicked. "It's fine Ma, I'm fine." Maura knelt down in front of her and placed a hand on her leg while her other hand rested on the couch next to Jane's hand. "Are you in pain? Do you need something? You only had to ask Jane, I would have gotten you want you needed." Maura rushed out.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Jane started, glancing at Angela. She had never seen her Ma so panicked before, she knew the previous argument about staying with Maura would start again before the night ended. She took a deep breath and looked back at Maura. "Just help me up, please." Maura nodded, and pulled Jane up.

"Will you be okay?" Maura mumbled.

Jane gave a weak laugh, "I'll be fine."

Angela started the second Jane left the room. "She really should be at our house. She shouldn't be here." She said looking at Maura.

"Why? Angela you know I will do anything Jane asks me to do. Plus if she happens to need medical attention, at least I will be here." Maura replied.

"But you're not..." Angela was cut of by Frank, "Angela, stop." Angela gave her husband a look that said I'll deal with you later, then walked out of the room. A few seconds later they all heard the front door close behind her. "Maura thank you for the invitation but I'm afraid if we can't stay any longer." Maura nodded her understanding. "I'm sorry about dinner. Tell our daughter we will see her in tomorrow. Frankie come on, Janie needs to rest."

"Of course I will Frank. I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologise Maura. We know you will take care of her. Angela just needs time. She'll come around." Frank said as he leaned over a gave her a kiss on her cheek. He left to go face the music with his wife.

"She will come around you know, she has just never, not been the one to look after us when we needed it. Just give her time." Frankie said, giving her a kiss on the other cheek.

"Thanks Frankie."

"Don't mention it. Tell Janie I'll come round tomorrow after my shift. Well, is it that okay?" Frankie asked.

"You're welcome whenever you want. Be careful." Maura said, returning the kiss to his cheek. He gave her shoulder a squeeze then left, he had to make sure his Pop was still breathing. Maura fell back onto the couch once she heard the front door close again. She sighed as she closed her eyes. It was the first time since the shooting that she found herself relaxing, she knew it was because Jane was in her house, safe and more importantly, alive.

…

Jane stumbled back into the lounge to find Maura alone on the couch. As she got closer she saw Maura's eyes were closed, but she didn't know if she was asleep or not. She collapsed next to her friend on the couch and leant back, turning to look at Maura, who hadn't moved at all since Jane sat on the couch. Jane was happy enough to watch her friend sleep.

Maura had heard Jane walk in and sit on the couch, she was also well aware that Jane was currently staring at her. She opened one eye to look at Jane, "don't you know it is rude to stare?" Jane jumped at the sound of Maura's voice, she was so lost in her thoughts she didn't even notice Maura open her eye.

"Erm, s...sorry." Jane mumbled, mentally pulling herself together, "was thinking. I thought you were asleep."

"Medicating," Maura replied. "What you thinking about?"

Jane shook her head. "Doesn't matter." She looked away, then changing the subject she added, "where has everyone gone?" She knew that they had all left, she heard the door shut three times, and she had heard Maura telling Frankie that he was welcome to come around any time. But what she didn't know was what made them leave.

"You're...erm," Maura murmured, sitting up properly and pulling her legs to her chest, she turned to face Jane fully, with both eyes open.

"What did my Ma do know?"

"How did you..."

"It was either my Ma or..." Jane thought for a second then added, "...or my Ma."

"Well when you went to the bathroom she said you shouldn't be here. When I asked why and told her I was perfectly capable to look after you because I'm a doctor, she kind of started to say something..." She looked away as she remember the look Angela had given her.

Jane started to grow angry when a look of hurt flashed across Maura's face. But before she could say anything Maura continued. "But you're father stopped her mid sentence, she left. A few minute later you're father followed her, then a few minute later Frankie followed. They are coming by tomorrow to see you."

Jane nodded, "Okay..." She could still see the hurt expression on her best friends face and decided to push. "You know what my Ma was going to say don't you?" She waited for Maura to nod before she continued. "Well...are you going to make me force it out of you, or are you just going to be a great friend and stop me working so hard trying to figure it all out and just tell me what she was going to say?"

"Jane, I had just told her I was capable to look after her only daughter because I was a doctor. She knows I don't work on live patients. You're a detective, what do you think she wanted to say?" Maura stated.

"You think she wanted to tell you that you weren't a really doctor since all you're patients are dead?" Jane asked, she already knew the answer and she was going to kill her Ma for nearly saying it to Maura. She knew her Ma loved Maura, she just couldn't understand how her Ma had nearly said it.

Maura nodded, looking away as tears fell on their own accord. She couldn't fight it any more she was exhausted.

"Maura..." Jane said, placing a finger under her chin forcing Maura to look at her. "You know she didn't mean it. Don't you?" She watched Maura give a small nod. "She loves you Maura. She will get used to me staying here. Just give her time to come around, okay?" Again she watched Maura give a weak smile. "We..." She was cut off by the sound of Maura's door bell.

"I'll get it, it'll be the food." Maura said, practically running out of the lounge. Maura paid the delivery guy and walked back into the lounge, from the doorway she could she Jane had her head in her hands, her shoulders were tensed, and she was taking deep breaths. "Are you hungry?" Maura asked, walking towards her.

Jane shook her head, she didn't trust herself to speak. She hated seeing Maura like this. She jumped when she felt someone place their hands on her shoulders.

"Sorry..." Maura mumbled, pulling her hands away when she felt and saw Jane jump. "...I was just going to give you a massage." She picked up the food and took it to the fridge, she could still she Jane from where she was and she wondered if she will ever be able to touch her again without her jumping. She placed the food in the fridge, it would get eaten tomorrow, that she was sure of. "You should get some rest Jane, it's been a long day." Jane nodded. "Come on," Maura held her hand out.

Jane handed her hand to Maura. She grunted then smiled as Maura pulled her to her feet. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't...Jane," Maura looked away. "Don't you dare apologise, please...Jane." Maura started to walk away, but Jane pulled her back. "Jane..." Maura whispered in a pleading tone, "...let me go. Please."

Jane let her hand go, and watched hopelessly as Maura walked away. She didn't know what to do. She started walking towards the guest bedroom when she heard Maura shout out in pain. She spun around ignoring the pain in her stomach as she walked as fast as she could to get to Maura's bedroom. She knocked on the door before pushing it open, she had to stifle the laugh that threatened to leave her mouth as she watched the doctor hop around her bedroom clutching her foot in her hands. "Are you okay?"

Maura put her foot down on the floor as she fell backwards on the bed. She nodded at Jane. "Stubbed my big toe." Maura said. "It's not funny." She yelled as she saw Jane trying not to laugh.

"It is. Seeing you hopping around like that..."

Maura stood up and limped towards her en-suite. She turned to look at Jane, "You better sit down before you fall down." Maura stated, she had noticed how Jane was holding her stomach and swaying a bit.

"If I sit I will not be able to get back up again." Jane said, leaning back against the wall.

Maura walked back over to her and wrapped Jane's arm around her neck as she placed her hand on Jane's waist and helped her over to the bed. "Sit down, I'll be back in a few minutes." She walked back over to her en-suite and closed the door behind her.

"I hope you don't mind, they were on the end of the bed." Jane said when Maura walked back over to her.

"Not at all Jane. I actually put them there to give you later. I figured you would want something comfortable to sleep in." Maura said, kneeling on the floor and putting a hand under the bed. She handed Jane a medium sized white box. She smiled when Jane gave her a puzzled look.

"Maura, what's this?" Jane questioned.

"I got it for us all when we arranged to take Ja...erm...to the Red Sox game. Open it, I'll be back in a minute," Maura headed for the door, "just getting some water and you're medication." She called out over her shoulder.

Jane didn't know what she would find in the box. But she knew it had to do with the Red Sox game that Maura had promised to take her and Jason to. She remembered Maura telling Jason that she would take him and Jane to any game her wanted to go to. She couldn't understand why he had picked that actual game, Red Sox VS Yankees. It was two month away from when Maura had offered. _Three week away from now. _She slowly pulled the lid of the box to reveal three brand new Red Sox Jersey's. Two had Rizzoli stitched on the back and the other one had Isles stitched on.

Maura was stood in the doorway, watching Jane as she opened and closed her mouth wanting to say something. Maura took the Jersey's out of Jane's hand once she had had a proper look at them. She placed them on the bed. "Take these," Maura handed her a couple of pills and a glass of water. "There's something else in there," pointing to the box. She watched as Jane pulled the last thing out and gasped.

"Mau...what...I erm..." Jane was speechless. She looked from Maura to the signed Jersey she was holding in her hands. "How did you..."

"I donated some money, and I asked them for a favour, they were more than happy to sign this for Jason. I wanted to give it to him the night we went. But...erm," She closed her eyes as she looked away from Jane. "I got it for Jason, it's...I still want him to have it. If that's okay with you?" She mumbled. She was shocked when Jane pulled her in a hug, that was the last thing she had been expecting.

"Maura, that's more than okay. He would have loved you for this. Thank you. For everything." Jane felt the hot tears streaming down her cheeks and felt Maura tighten her grip around her. "Thank you." She whispered.

Jane was the first to pull away. She looked at Maura and wiped her tears of her face, before gently doing the same to Maura's face. "Can I ask you something?" She whispered.

"Anything, Jane."

"Tomorrow I'm going to start to plan Jason's funeral." She felt the tears rising up again, but continued, "I was hoping you would help me?"

"You know I will." Maura replied, pulling them both up the bed so they could lay down.

"I also need to go back home...well to his, I need my clothes Maura. I can't keep wearing all you're stuff. Would you mind driving me there?" She felt Maura tense up.

"Of course, I don't mind." Maura replied. She had been dreading the moment Jane asked her this. She didn't know if she would be able to go in that house ever again. "Get some rest, Jane." She heard Jane mumble something she didn't quite catch, but she didn't ask the detective to repeat herself. A few minute later she heard Jane's breathing even out and knew she was asleep. Maura went to turn over, but she couldn't move her arm. She turned and saw her arm under Jane's neck, suddenly remembering that she still had her arm wrapped around Jane when she laid down. She smiled and closed her eyes.

Sleep took over a few minute later.


	8. The nightmare

Maura woke up a few hour later. She didn't know what was going on, Jane was mumbling something while violently shaking her head. She sat up as best she could with her arm still under Jane's neck. It took her a few seconds to realize Jane was having a nightmare. "Sweetie, you need to wake up." Maura said, shaking her shoulder gently.

Jane screamed as she leaped up, falling to the side to get away from whoever was sat next to her. It was all happening way to fast for Jane to remember where she was. She fell to the floor, "ow, shit." She mumbled, pushing herself backwards until she couldn't move any more, she was backed up against a wall. She bought her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and placed her head on her knees. "No,no,no,no,no." She kept whispering to herself.

Before Maura could get a word out, Jane had backed herself up against the wall. Maura climbed out of bed and took tentative steps towards her. She had never seen Jane like this before. She was a few steps away from Jane when she started talking to her. "Jane, it's okay. You're safe." When Jane didn't respond to her, she took the last few steps towards her. She managed to push Jane away from the wall, noticing her friend was shivering she went back over the bed and pulled the cover of the bed. She sat behind Jane and pulled her back between her legs. She wrapped the cover around them both and started stroking up and down Jane's forearm. "Hey, Jane. Listen to me okay, you are safe here." Maura reached forward and took both of Jane's hands in hers. "You're safe. It's just you and me here. Sweetie, it's just us."

Slowly Jane got her breathing under control and started to listen to what Maura was telling her. She slowly pulled her head back up from her knees and rested it against Maura's shoulder. She could remember the nightmare but she had no idea how they came to be seated on the floor. "Hoyt," Jane barely whispered.

Maura should have known it was a nightmare about Hoyt. Still with Jane's hands in hers she gently placed them on Jane's stomach, careful not to put them against Jane's wound. "You're safe." She whispered in Jane's ear.

Jane didn't know what to do, she had never been like this in front of anyone before. _I'm a mess. _She started to pull away but Maura held her firmly in place.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jane. And neither are you." Maura firmly stated.

Jane started to move to the side but stopped when Maura's leg got in the way. She couldn't describe the physical need to be close to Maura, and she didn't want to. She lifted Maura's foot of the floor just enough so she could place her legs under. She placed her head in the crock on Maura's neck while whispering, "He had help. Robert was helping Hoyt." She closed her eyes and started crying. She hated feeling like this.

Maura's right leg was now resting over Jane's hips. Jane had wrapped both her arms around the doctors back. Maura's right hand was holding Jane's waist, holding her in place. Her left hand was brushing Jane's hair away from her face, often catching Jane's hot tears on her fingers. "It's going to be okay." Maura told her.

For the rest of the night they stayed in the same position. Maura holding Jane. Jane's now even breathing had been the first sign to Maura that Jane had fallen asleep. Her only other sign at the minute was that Jane had loosened her grip around her. Maura kissed the top of Jane's head as she closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of Jane.

…

Maura couldn't fall asleep there, and to be honest she really didn't want to. She wanted to be awake if Jane needed her, or if she had another nightmare. She had no clue as to how long they had been sat like that or even what time it was. She didn't want this to end. She was startled when she heard Jane whisper her name. She looked down to find the detective staring up at her. "Hey," Maura smiled. "How are you feeling?"

Jane tightened her grip around the doctors back again as she replaced her head in the crock of Maura's neck. "Exhausted. You?"

"I'm okay, Jane. You should get back in bed and get some more rest." Maura told Jane, trying to stand up. Jane reluctantly let her go. Once Maura was fully stood up, she pulled Jane to her feet and walked them both back towards the bed, once Jane was on laid on the bed, Maura went back for the cover. She got in at the side of Jane, and was shocked when the detective moved closer to her. Jane rested her hand on Maura's stomach as she placed her head on her best friends shoulder. It took a moment for Maura to start to relax, she reached for the cover and covered them both again for the second time.

"Go back to sleep," Maura whispered as she placed her hand over her stomach to rest on top of Jane's.

"You too." Jane told her, as she placed her right leg on top of Maura's legs to get comfy again. She felt Maura tense up, but in a few seconds it was gone again. "Mm, you're comfy." Jane said, sleepily. The sound of Maura telling her to sleep was the last thing Jane heard before sleep overtook again.

…

Maura woke up to the sound of her door bell ringing. She quickly untangled herself from under Jane quickly grabbing one of her dressing gowns from the back of her bedroom door. Quickly throwing it on, she headed for the front door. Grateful that she managed to get there before whoever was at the door rang the bell again. She opened it and was surprised to see a very angry looking Angela Rizzoli stood there.

"Angela?"

"You didn't answer my calls." Angela hissed out.

"I'm sorry, but we were asleep. We didn't get much last night. Please, come in. But please keep it down, I don't want to wake Jane."

Angela nodded, walking in and headed straight for the guest room. She had to stop in her tracks when Maura jumped in front of her. She knew Angela wouldn't find Jane in her guest room, but she still didn't want her looking.

"I want to see my daughter." Angela demanded in a low voice.

"I have just told you, she is sleeping. And I would very much like it if you didn't wake her up." Maura replied calmly.

"I have no intention of waking her up." Angela told Maura hotly, trying to get past her.

"Stop," Maura shouted. It was very rare that she showed anyone that she was angry, but she knew if Angela kept pushing, she would get to see it. She had a temper on her, one what she hated letting surface. Her voice a little lower this time, she continued, "you can walk into my house and have a go at me whenever you want. But if you do it while I have my best friend sleeping in my bed, trying to recover from a gunshot wound, from her own husband trying to kill her, from successfully killing her step son, from beating her for I don't know how long," she stopped as she took a deep breath, not realizing she had tears streaming down her face, she continued, "That I can't allow, and I sure as hell won't." She took in a few more gulps of breath.

"But she's my..." Angela started.

Maura sighed, "you're daughter, I know. I also know that you all love her. But Jane chose to stay with me and while she is here, I have to keep her health as my priority, and right now as her...as a doctor I am telling you she needs to rest." Maura paused for a second and looked back at her bedroom door, she was sure she closed it on her way out, but it was now open. "I offered to let her stay her and she accepted. If Jane wants to go home with you I will not stand in her way. But can we please wait until she wakes up before you ask her anything?" She watched as Angela nodded her head then asked, "can I get you a drink? Some breakfast maybe?"

Angela shook her head. "I'm fine thank you."

Both headed for the lounge where Angela sat on the couch. "I'll be back in a few minutes, I'm just going to put some clothes on." Angela nodded, looking at Maura and realising she was still in her pyjamas.

Maura walked back into her bedroom and noticed Jane was still in the same place she had been when Maura left her except she had her eyes open. "You're mother is here." Maura said, sitting on the bed next to Jane.

"I heard." Jane mumbled. "I'm not going home." She looked at Maura, eyes pleading with her.

"If you don't want to go, Jane. No one can make you. But I want you to know that I wont make you stay here either. You have to do what you..."

"I want to be here, Maura. I need to be here. I can't go anywhere else." She pleaded.

Maura took Jane's hand in hers, "then you aren't going anywhere." Maura stood up and went back to the door, she pulled another one of her dressing gowns of the hock and gave it to Jane, "put this on." She pulled Jane to her feet and waited until she had it fastened loosely around her stomach, then added, "you still need to talk to her. This has to stop." She stopped when she got to the door, turned around to face Jane again, "I want you to be here as well."

Jane nodded. "Are we still going to..."

"Once you have sorted everything out with you're mother, and you have had something to eat. We can do which ever you want first, okay?" Maura looked away, she didn't want Jane to know how much today was going to hurt her.

"You don't have to come to the house if you don't..." Jane started.

"I told you yesterday I would go. I don't say something if I don't mean it. I'm going with you." With that Maura left the bedroom and went back to Angela in the lounge, not realizing she still hadn't changed.

"Hey Ma." Jane said, walking into the lounge.

"Janie, you're awake. Did you sleep okay?"

Jane tensed up, remembering her nightmare, remembering every single detail about last night. She looked at Maura who had a concern wrote all over her face. She gave the best smile she could before answering her Ma's question. "Not very well, no." She waved off her mothers concern with a shake of her head.

"Janie, I came to take you home." Angela said, getting straight to the point.

"I told you yesterday, I'm not coming home. I'm staying here." She sat down, feeling like she was going to fall if she didn't. "I need you to trust me on this. I haven't got the strength to keep arguing with you about where I am staying. I chose to stay here for a reason." She saw both, Maura's and Angela's questioning look, but didn't say anything else.

"Why?" Angela questioned.

"I feel safe here. I always have." Jane said, looking down at her hands, the thumb of her right hand rubbing over the scar of her left. She didn't dare look at either of them so she just kept her head down.

Angela knew with the confession Jane had just made that she had to get used to Jane being her. There was no way she could make her go home with her know. She realized then she just needed to hear that Jane was going to be safe. "Okay," she said, placing her hand on top of Jane's.

Maura stood up and left them to it, she figured they might want some time alone. She wanted a shower. Grabbing some clothes from her wardrobe she locked the bathroom door behind her.

"You need to apologize to Maura, she didn't deserve to be talked to like that. You hurt her. I understand you are hurt Ma, but you have to understand so is she. You didn't have to tell her she wasn't capable to look after me because she isn't a doctor." Jane told her mother, finally tearing her eyes away from her hands.

"I didn't say..."

"You was going to. Maura can read people like a book, she knew what you wanted to say. You really hurt her with that."

Angela nodded, "I'll say sorry when she comes back."

Jane nodded, "She is a doctor, and she is a damn good one as well. Don't ever make her feel like she isn't, okay?"

"I know she is. I was just worried about you. You know I love her as much as you, but I just wasn't thinking. I'm sorry." Angela said. It was her turn to pull her daughter in for a hug. "You okay?" She asked, concerned when she heard Jane's sharp intake of breath.

"I'm fine, just moved wrong."

…

Maura walked out of the bathroom to find Jane sat on the end of her bed. "Have..." When Jane looked at her, Maura knew she had just stopped crying. "Are you okay?" Maura said kneeling in front of her.

"I..." Jane didn't know what to say. She wanted to say that she was fine, but she also wanted to tell her friend exactly how she was feeling. She settled on neither. "I need a shower." She stood up and walked to the bathroom. "Ma wants to talk to you." She threw over her shoulder, before closing the door behind her.

A few minute later Maura heard the water running. She didn't know what was wrong with Jane but she hoped she would talk to her when she was ready. She headed to the lounge to see Angela. When she walked in she saw Angela stood up next to the fireplace, holding a picture frame. Maura knew which one she had in her hands.

"When was this taken?" Angela asked, placing the frame where she found it. Still looking at the picture she couldn't help but smile.

"The day Jane met Robert. Me, Jane, Frankie, Korsak and Frost were in the park. Jane wanted to know who was a faster runner, so I suggested we have race." She saw Angela's smile grow a bit more, encouraging her to continue. "We were a few feet away from the finish line, we were side to side, when I tripped over, I grabbed the closest thing to me..."

"Jane?" Angela asked, smiling.

Maura nodded, "Jane," she said through a chuckle. "I dragged her down with me. For the next twenty minutes we stayed on the grass, not being able to do anything but laugh. I didn't know Korsak had picked up my camera until I saw the picture." She walked over and picked up the frame, "I loved it from the second I saw it."

"I'm sorry, Maura. For everything I said yesterday and for everything I have said to you since I found out Jane would be staying with you. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that. I am truly sorry." Angela breathed out, placing her hand on Maura's arm.

"It's okay, I understand why you said it all. But thank you. Apology accepted."

Angela pulled her in for a hug. "Thank you, for everything you are doing for Janie." Angela pulled back so she could look at blonde. "You know I love you, don't you?" She finished with wiping the single tear of off Maura's cheek. All Maura could do was nod.

Once breakfast was eaten and plans were made to go to the Rizzoli family home in the next few days and after more apologises, goodbyes were said and Angela left.

…

"So," Maura started. She had been dreading today since last night when Jane had asked her to help. A lot of fears were going to be faced today, and she was pretty sure a lot of tears were going to be shed as well.

"You really don't have to do today. I shouldn't have aske..."

"Jane," Maura placed her hands on Jane's knee. "I'm not letting you today on you're own. You asked me for help. I'm going to help. You should get ready." She pointed to her bedroom, "wear whatever you want. You should be able to find something comfortable." She watched as Jane headed back towards the bedroom. Once Jane was gone she placed her head in her hands and wondered how she was going to get through today.


	9. Going back home

"You ready to go?" Jane asked, walking into the lounge to find Maura laid out on the couch, eyes closed. "You mediating or are you actually asleep?" She asked, voice low. When Maura didn't reply Jane walked to the kitchen table with Maura's laptop. _Jason..._ Jane knew she better start planning for the funeral and decided now was a good a time as any. She didn't want to wake Maura, after last night she knew Maura hadn't slept much. She felt guilty for keeping her away. After getting a glass of water and grabbing the phone she switched on the laptop.

…

Maura woke up panicking, her first thought was that she had let Jane go to the house on her own. Jumping up she calmed down the second she heard Jane's voice. _Who is she talking to? _Reaching over to get the half empty glass of water from the table she strained to hear what Jane was saying. A few seconds later she gave it up as a bad job, all she she make out was muffles. Standing up she stretched and headed in the direction of Jane's voice. Walking into the kitchen she saw Jane pacing near the sink, she was talking to someone on the phone. Sitting at the table she noticed Jane didn't know she was there. Reaching over she pulled the laptop back to her so she could check her email while Jane was on the phone.

Jane stopped pacing when she heard someone typing on the computer. She turned to find Maura staring at the screen, she hadn't noticed Jane had stopped pacing. "Thank you for everything," Jane said into the phone, not really knowing if it was for the person on the phone or if it was directed at Maura, who had now looked up to face Jane. "Alright, thank you for you're help...yes see you on Friday. Goodbye." Jane grabbed a glass out of the cupboard, filled it with water and gave it to Maura. "Hey."

"Thank you," Maura said, taking the glass of water from Jane. "How long have I been asleep for?"

Jane looked at the clock on the wall, while sitting down across from Maura, "Nearly five hours." Jane smiled at Maura's shocked expression. "I hope you don't mind, but I used you're phone."

"Not course not, Jane. Anything important?" Maura asked, taking a sip of water.

"Planning Jason's funeral. It's on Friday. I thought I would start planning it while you were asleep. It's all sorted, I just need to find somewhere for us all to go afterwards. I would much prefer to curl up in a ball in bed. But I know Jason would've wanted something...more." Jane buried her head in her hands.

Maura reached across the table and took both of Jane's hands in hers. "I think I might know a place,"

"Where?" Jane looked at her, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Let me get ready and I'll take you there, if you're feeling up to it?"

"Okay," Jane said, curiously.

Maura stood up and walked over to Jane, placing a kiss on her forehead, she whispered, "I'll be ready in five minutes."

Jane laughed at the words that had just left her best friends mouth. _She can never get ready in five minutes, I'll still be sat here in thirty._

…

Ten minutes later Jane was surprised when Maura walked back into the kitchen wearing Jeans and and Jane's BPD t-shirt. "Where did you get that?" Jane asked, pointing to the shirt Maura was wearing.

"You left it here after you're last Homicide baseball game. I washed it for you and forgot to give it back. I did tell you though that you would find something comfortable, it you looked." Maura saw Jane's eyes look her up and down, she was starting to fidget. "You ready to go?" Maura asked, sounding a little unsure of herself.

Jane stood up, carefully. She walked over to Maura and they held each others gaze for a few minute longer than necessary. "Yes," Jane muttered, heading for the door.

Maura got Jane seated in the passenger seat of her car. The drive wasn't far and Maura knew Jane would work it out the closer she got to her destination.

The drive was made in complete silence. Maura pulled up in the car park and turned to face to Jane. "Well...what do you think?" Maura wasn't sure what Jane would think to this idea, she was really hoping it would go down well. When Jane didn't say anything Maura decided to continue, "I know this place might not... I don't know, but I know one thing, this is one of the places that meant the world to him."

Jane finally turned to face Maura, pulling her eyes away from the entrance she knew like the back of her hand. Maura had driven straight to Fenway Park, Boston's Red Sox home ground. "I think he would have loved it, but it can't happen. I can't afford to get them to open the grounds for a day. They wouldn't go for it, they aren't even playing a game that day. I'll find somewhere else." Jane reached across for Maura's hand. "Thank you though."

"Jane, stop. Do you really think he would love it?"

"Yes, I do. But..." Jane stopped when Maura gave her a stern look.

"Then that settles it. I have more than enough money. I'll pay."

Jane pulled her hand away, "wow, Dr. Isles, that hurt more than I thought it would." She unbuckled her seat belt and climbed out of the car, ignoring the pain in her stomach. She started walking, heading in the direction where they had just come from.

Maura didn't move for a few minute, she didn't know what she had done wrong. Coming to her senses,"Jane, stop." Maura yelled, climbing out of the car, jogging she caught up with Jane a few seconds later. Maura reached out and grabbed Jane's arm. "Please, Jane. Stop." Pulling back she forced Jane to stop. "What's wrong?"

"Really Maura, you don't know?" Jane yelled.

Maura shook her head. "No, I don't know, Jane."

"That was the first and only ever time that you have flaunted you're money over my head. I didn't...no I don't want you're money, Maura. I have never asked you for a penny. And I won't start now."

"I didn't mean it like that Jane."

Again Jane pulled her hand out off Maura's and started walking away, shaking her head.

"STOP," Maura yelled.

Something in Maura's voice made Jane stop in her tracks and slowly turned to face the doctor. "What?" Jane snapped.

"I didn't bring you here to, as you say, flaunt my money over you're head. I brought you here because I know Jason would have loved it...because I know you would love it." Maura said, not making any attempt to move towards Jane. She didn't want her to walk away.

"He would. I do, but Maura it's not you're place to pay for any of this." Jane said.

"Jane I want to help out. This has nothing to do with money, this is all about Jason. You know as well as I do, that he was at his happiest when he was here." Maura told Jane, walking towards her. She had noticed Jane had gone a bit pale. Wrapping an arm around Jane's waist to hold her up, "Let's get you back to the car."

Once Maura got Jane seated in the car, with the door still open, Maura leant back against the car next to the open passenger door. "You okay?" Maura asked.

"Yea, I just needed to sit down. I just felt a bit weak that's all."

Maura shut the passenger door and walked around to the drivers, climbing in she turned to face Jane, "let's get you back home. You need to rest."

"Maura, I..."

"Don't, okay. We can continue this conversation later." Maura started the engine, putting the car into first gear. She glanced another look at Jane and started to drive.

"Maura, the house. I need to go back. I need to get my stuff." Jane said. She watched Maura grip the steering wheel so tight her knuckles turned pure white. "Maura pull over for a second."

"Why? Are you okay?" Maura rushed out, panicked.

"I'm fine, I just need to...it doesn't matter." She didn't know what she needed to do, she just knew she needed to hold Maura. To make everything go back to how it was before...everything.

Maura continued driving. She headed for the house Jane had shared with Robert and Jason. She couldn't get the image of Jane leaning against the cupboard door bleeding to death out of her mind. She didn't want to go back to that house. She never wanted to see it again. She just wanted to go home, curl up in bed and cry. _I just need to get through the next few hours. You can do this. You'll be okay. _

Thirty minutes later and Maura pulled up in the driveway of the Jane's house. Jane got out of the car first, walking to the door she realized Maura wasn't behind her. Turning back to the car she saw Maura still sat in the drivers seat, staring into thin air. Walking back over to the car Jane opened the drivers door. She couldn't bend down to get the doctor to look at her, so she placed her hand under Maura's chin and turned her head to face the detective. Jane backed away slightly so she could see Maura properly. "Get out of the car, Maura. I can't talk to you like this. It hurts."

Maura got out the car and looked at Jane, well aware she had tears in her eyes. She couldn't help it. Being there brought that day back. "Jane..." Maura pulled her in for a hug.

Jane didn't complain, "I'm here, Maura." Jane pulled away a few seconds later. "Stay here, I will be back in five minute. I'll just grab some clothes." Jane kissed Maura on the forehead and went to walk away, she had no choice but to stop when Maura wouldn't let her hand go.

"How can you be so...fearless? How can you want to go back in that house after...everything?"

"I don't want to Maura. Look at me," Jane said, pulling Maura's attention back to her. "I am scared, okay. I'm terrified about what I will see when I walk through that door. I'm utterly terrified about all the memory's that will come back to haunt me. Ones that I forced myself to forget. I'm scared, Maura." Jane took a deep breath then added, "more than you will ever know."

"We don't have to do this Jane. We can just get back in the car and go home." Maura was well aware she was pleading with Jane, but she was hoping Jane wouldn't notice.

"Maura, get back in the car. I'll be back in five minutes, ten at the most." Jane said, pulling her hand from Maura's death grip. Walking up to the door, she pulled her keys out of Maura's jacket she was wearing. Standing on the porch, she couldn't bring herself to unlock the door. She was fumbling with the keys when she dropped them. Sighing, she went to pick them up, hoping Maura hadn't noticed. She stood up straight when a very sharp twinge shot through her stomach. Placing a hand over the wound she fell back to lean against the brick wall, keeping her gaze away from looking over at Maura.

Maura had been watching Jane from the second she started to walk towards the front door. Seeing her lean back against the wall in pain, Maura ran forward. "You okay honey?" When Jane nodded, she bent down to pick the keys up off the floor. "You really want to do to this?" Again when Jane nodded, Maura placed the key in the door and unlocked it. Before pushing it open she turned to face Jane, smiling the best could, "then we'll do together. I told you I'm not leaving you." Pushing the door open she walked inside, holding it open for Jane.

Maura closed the door behind Jane. Taking a look around Jane noticed everything was in the exact same place as it was when she last walked in. Maura had made sure she got the clean up guys in here before Jane left the hospital. Watching Jane at the minute she knew Jane was looking for any signs to what had happened. She was really hoping they weren't going to find any. Maura saw the place where she had knelt down at the side of Jason a few weeks ago. She took a deep breath, fighting her emotions. "We should get you're stuff." Maura whispered.

"I'll check down here for things I will need." Jane looked at Maura, "can you grab me some clothes and throw them in a bag for me. Just grab whatever. Maura...Maura...are you listening to me?" Jane said waving her hand in front of Maura's face.

"I'm...I'm sorry." Maura mumbled. "What did you say?"

Jane smiled, "I said you get my clothes and I'll check down here for things I might need. Okay?" Jane didn't want to leave Maura down stairs on her own.

"Jane, I have no idea what clothes you will need, so you take upstairs and I'll look down here." Maura held her hand up between them when Jane opened her mouth to speak. "Where was the charger for you're phone kept? Both of us trying to use one phone between us isn't very suitable and it's quite annoying swapping the sim cards every five minutes."

Jane had to laugh. She hated not having her own phone, but Maura didn't have another one for her to use. "Maura, seriously. I can do down here. I don't mind."

Maura tilted her head to the side slightly, "Jane, I will do down here." Maura firmly stated. "If I get you're clothes, you will moan because I didn't get the ones you wanted. And don't say you won't because I know you Jane." Maura had to smile at Jane's expression. "Go get you're clothes, Jane. I don't want to be here for long."

Squeezing Maura's hand, Jane walked past Maura and started climbing the stairs. She turned back around once she got to the top and saw Maura take a few deeps breath with her eyes closed. Holding her breath she watched Maura slowly open her eyes again and set of in the direction of the lounge. _I shouldn't have brought her here. I was dumb. _She hated seeing Maura like this. She felt it was all her fault. _I'll just grab my clothes and I'll get her out of here. Get us both out of here. _Walking down the hallway she slowly opened her bedroom door. Walking in, she felt like she was on autopilot, heading straight for the wardrobe, pulling out a duffel bag, she threw all her clothes in it, then moved to the drawers, grabbing the rest of the things she needed.

Walking back towards the top of the stairs, Jane stopped outside Jason's bedroom door. Walking in, she felt overwhelmed with emotion. Sitting on the bed, she looked around, taking in all the Red Sox memorabilia, she saw a picture of her and Jason laying on the grass. She remembered the day Maura took it, like it all happened yesterday.

_It was a warm summers day. Jason aged seven at the time, had woke up that morning wanting to go to the park. Jane had made plans a few days before to spend that day with Maura. It didn't take long for Jane to phone up Maura to cancel their plans. "Change of plan," Jane had told Maura, the second she answered her phone. "I'm taking Jason to the park for the day, then to grab something to eat. If you're not to busy, would you like to join us?" Jane asked. _

"_I'd love too, Jane." Maura replied. _

"_Great. We'll pick you up in..." Jane glanced at the clock. "Twenty minutes?"_

"_Okay, I'll see you both in twenty minutes." Maura said, hanging up the phone, a huge smile on her face._

_A few hours later, Jane and Maura was sat on a bench watching Jason play baseball with some other children. "Thank you for today, Jane. I really appreciate you letting me join you both today. I've had a great time." Maura smiled, turning to face Jane._

"_You're welcome, Maura. Thank you for coming. I'm sorry for ruining our day though."_

"_Jane..." Maura placed her hand on Jane's leg. "You didn't ruin our day. The spa will always be there, you're not getting out of going that easily." Maura laughed as she watched Jane's face fall. "You promised you would go with me, remember? Just because we came here instead doesn't mean I will forget you promised."_

"_I remember, Maura. I just thought you would want to spend you're days relaxing in the park from now on. Not dragging me along to a spa. But I promised, and you know I will keep it." Jane placed her hand on top of Maura's and gave it a gentle squeeze. They smiled at each other, then both turned to watch Jason._

_After Jason had finished the baseball game, they went to get a late lunch. Jason ordered a pizza and some fries, Jane ordered a cheeseburger and two sets of fries, Maura ordered a salad. "Jane... why did you order two lots of fries?" Maura asked._

_Jane laughed, "because one lot is for you. I knew you would order a salad, then pinch half of my fries. Now you don't have to. You can just eat yours." Jane said, smiling her famous Rizzoli grin._

_It was four in the afternoon, when they walked back through the park. Jason was running up ahead when he sat on the grass on laid on his back. "Come and look at this?" Jason had shouted at them both. When both Jane and Maura was stood over him, "you have to lay down to see it." He laughed at them both. "I do at school. It's fun. We see what animal shapes we can make out of the clouds. Whoever finds the best one wins." _

_Jane laid down next to Jason. "I'm going to sit this game out." Maura told them, walking over to the bench a few feet away. She could Jane and Jason shouting different animals out, and she couldn't stop herself from looking up to try and spot them from where she was sat._

_Fifteen minute later, Jane declared Jason as the winner. Walking back over to them, Maura stood above them both and told them to smile. Pulling her camera from behind her back, she laughed when she saw Jane pulling Jason nearer her and tickling his sides. Maura caught the exact moment they both started laughing, on camera. The rest of the day passed rather fast than anyone off them would have liked. _

Jane was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard a scream coming from downstairs. Still clutching the picture in one hand, she ran out of the room, nearly tripping over her bag she had just packed. The scream she heard was coming from Maura, but it didn't sound like she was scared, it sounded more like she was angry.

Running down the stairs, she headed straight for the lounge. "Maura..." Jane shouted. Stopping in the lounge, Jane noticed a pile of broken glass, it was her coffee table what had smashed, in the middle of the broken table Jane noticed a picture of her and Robert on their wedding day. Then she saw the blood. _SHIT! Maura! _Running into the kitchen she ran straight into Maura, sending them down crashing down to the tile flooring. "Maura?" Jane noticed Maura's hand was bleeding, sitting up, she took the doctor's hand in hers.

Maura was crying uncontrollably, she had been stood in the exact same place she stood the day she found Jane in the kitchen. She was staring at the cupboard Jane was leaning against, when Jane ran straight into her.

"Maura, you're bleeding."

Maura just nodded. She didn't register what Jane had said to her. She couldn't stop thinking about Jane bleeding to death a few feet from where she was sat.

"Maur...honey. Look at me." Jane begged. "Please...Maura. Look at me. Please."

Maura finally registered Jane's words, and looked at her.

"It's okay, Maura. You're going to be okay. We both are." Pulling her friend in for hug, she kissed Maura's cheek. "We'll be okay." She whispered in Maura's ear.

After Jane had finally talked Maura into standing up, she dragged her over to the sink and placed Maura's hand under warm running water to rinse away the blood. "It's okay, Jane. It's not that bad. I just cut myself on the glass, when I sat on the floor."

"Maura...did you throw that picture?" Jane asked, she watched Maura bow her head but nod slightly.

"I'm sorry, but when I saw his face I couldn't control my anger, I did it without thinking. Jane, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Maura. I would have done the same. We're going home, well back to your place. Come on." Jane said, taking Maura's hand from under the tap, turning of the water, she pulled Maura's hand so she would start to walk. "I just need to grab my bag, I left it at the top of the stairs when I heard you scream."

"I'll get it for you," Maura whispered. Removing her hand from Jane's, she ran up the stairs, grabbed the bag and walked back down, afraid her legs would give way from under her.

A few minute later, Maura was pulling out of the drive way. Both of them relieved to get away from that house. Maura noticed Jane was holding a picture in her hands. Jane saw her looking and turned the picture slightly so Maura could look at it. Seeing the picture, tears formed in Maura's eyes straight away. The journey back to Maura's was totally silence. A few tears escaped Maura's eyes, she made no attempt to wipe them away, afraid Jane would notice.


	10. I love you

They had not been back at Maura's house for long before her phone started ringing. "Dr Isles...Hi Korsak...Yes, Jane is doing okay." She turned to look at Jane who was laying down on her couch. They hadn't spoken since they left the house. "Is there no-one else that can do it?...Yes, I understand, I'll see you in thirty minutes. Bye." Maura ended the call and placed her phone on the table.

"What did Korsak want?" Jane asked, eyes closed.

"They have just got a new case, he wants me to do the autopsy. I will be gone for a few hour. Will you be okay?"

Jane pulled herself of the couch, wincing a little when she had to use her stomach muscles. "I'm coming with you."

"Jane, you have just been...you need to rest."

"I have had enough rest Maura. I won't be working on the case, but I will be able to give them some input on it. Please, don't try to argue with me on this. I need to take my mind of things." Walking over to the door, she picked up Maura's car keys. "But you still have to drive. I can't do that just yet." Holding the keys out for Maura to grab.

"Jane, I'm not sure that you should come. What about the lieutenant?"

"I want to go back to work. I know they won't want me back on active duty, but I can sit at a desk and offer my opinion. Now...lets...go." Jane firmly stated the last part. Hoping she got the message across to Maura, that she didn't want to talk about this any more.

…

Maura walked Jane into the squad room, and after getting her to her desk and telling Korsak and Frost not to let her leave the building, Maura headed for the elevator. "Call me if you need anything Jane. Korsak, I'll call you when I've done the autopsy."

"Wait, Maura. I'll come down with you." Korsak replied.

Either of them spoke until they were in the morgue. Korsak was the first to break the silence. "So...how is Jane really doing?"

Maura turned to face him. "Okay. Really okay, actually." Maura walked over to the body on the table, it was a young women, early 20's. "What happened?" Maura asked, referring to the case.

"We received a call, from the neighbour of Samantha Adams, our vic. She heard shouting and and her screaming and called us. The first patrol car to get there busted in the door and found her laid on the couch, dead. I called you're assistant to the house, if you speak with her she will be able to tell you more on the body."

Maura nodded, pulling on some gloves and protective gown. "Thank you. I'll bring the report up once it's completed."

Korsak nodded and headed for the door. Stopping he turned around and asked, "Maura..." he waited for her to look up at him. "How are you doing?"

Maura smiled weakly, "I'm okay. I'm worried about Jane more than anything."

"I thought you said she was doing okay," Korsak said, walking back towards Maura.

"She is physically. But she is holding back, she won't grief. We went back to her house this morning, so she could get some clothes. I was the one who broke down, she comforted me." Taking a few steps back from the table, Maura dropped her head to her chest. "It should have been the other way around. I feel like she is pushing me away, or at least trying to. I don't know what to do to help her."

Korsak placed his hand on her shoulder, "you're doing all you can Maura. This is how Jane copes. She hates not like being in control of her life. She needs you Maura. She will stop running soon, and she will need you to be there for her. She won't come to me or Frost, or her family. She will go to you, she trusts you. Don't give up on her just yet, okay?"

Maura turned around and threw her arms Korsak. "I'll never give up on her Korsak. She means to much to me." she sobbed against Korsak chest.

…

Back upstairs, Korsak placed a cup of coffee on Jane's table. "Can I talk to you for a sec, kiddo."

Looking up from her paperwork she was trying to get through, Jane nodded. Grabbing her coffee, and leaning back in her chair. "Thanks. Sure, what's up?"

"Can we do this somewhere else? A little more private?"

"Sure," standing up, Jane headed straight towards the interrogation room, with Korsak following behind. Jane found one what wasn't occupied and walked in. She sat on the table and waited for Korsak to say whatever he wanted to.

"I've just seen Maura." He said, not really knowing where to start.

Jane laughed, "I know Korsak, I saw you go to the morgue with her."

"Oh yea. We had a good chat."

Jane tensed up, she didn't know where this was going and she really didn't want to find out. Not today. "Korsak, I need to finish my paperwork." Jane slowly got of the table and stepped towards the door, only to be stopped when Korsak blocked her exit. "Korsak, move." Jane growled.

He knew it was going to be hard for Jane to come to terms with everything that had happened. But he hoped today would help. He had asked Maura to call in a favour, get someone else to do the autopsy, so she could be there for Jane. He told Maura he would phone her soon to take Jane home. "Jane, sit back down."

Jane backed off a bit. "Korsak, I need to get my paperwork done. Move."

"No."

Jane had known Korsak a long time, long enough to know that he wasn't going to move out of her way. "Fine," Jane shouted. "Talk."

"Why did you come here today?" Korsak asked.

Jane looked confused, but still answered. "because I fed up. I wanted to come and catch up on some paperwork."

Korsak still remained in front of the door, knowing the second he moved, Jane would run. "So...it has nothing to do with Jason?"

"What...no...yes. I don't know." Jane confessed.

"Jane, you know Maura is worried about you."

"She doesn't have to be, I'm okay. I keep telling her that." Jane said, avoiding looking at Korsak. She couldn't avoid his gaze for long though as he finally stepped away from the door, taking a few steps towards Jane, he forced Jane to look at him.

"Jane, we are all worried about you, but she is the only one who you let get close enough to try and comfort you." He caught Jane's glistening eyes, "don't push her away, Jane. You both need each other."

"I can't push her away, Korsak. I tried to do it when Robert was alive."

"Why?" Korsak asked.

Jane was losing the battle with her emotions. She didn't want to cry in front of Korsak. "Because, I was afraid she would guess what was happening."

"Jane." Korsak waited until Jane looked at him, "Dr Isles doesn't guess."

Jane gave a weak smile. "I know, but..." Jane thought about her answer for a bit, before coming out with the real reason. "I didn't want her to see me broken, so I tried my hardest to push her away. I thought if she wasn't around, I would only be lying to myself. But the more I pushed her away, the more I pulled her back. I just couldn't do it, Korsak." Jane sobbed, "and I can't do it now, either."

Korsak pulled her into a hug. "Why do you want to push her away, she really cares about you."

Jane pulled back, "I don't want her to see me broken."

Korsak pulled a chair out and sat down facing Jane, holding her hands. "Now listen to me, Janie. He didn't break you. No one can break Jane Rizzoli unless you let them. It's a choice."

Jane gave Korsak another weak smile, and watched as he got his phone out and sent a text to someone. "Talk to her, okay?"

Jane nodded, and went to stand up but Korsak pushed her back down.

"Stay here." Korsak ordered. Walking out the room, he closed the door behind him and watched Maura come around the corner to them. "She's in there." Korsak nodded his head at the door.

"Thank you, Korsak. Is she okay?"

"She needs you Maura. Don't let her push you away, okay?" When he saw Maura nod in agreement he added, "take her home. I think she might want to talk to you. Just take you're time with her, and..." Before he could finish his sentence, Maura interrupted him, "I won't push her to talk Korsak. But if she does, I'll be there for her. It's up to her though." They both smiled at each other before Korsak moved out of the way so Maura could walk into the interrogation room.

Maura expected to see Jane stood at the door wanting to get out of here. What she saw instead was Jane sat in a chair with her head resting against on the table. She was shaking. Maura thought she was angry until Jane finally looked up at her. Maura saw the tears streaming down her best friends cheek and wondered what Korsak had said to Jane to get her in this state.

Jane put her head back on the table once she saw who had come into the room. She knew it was either going to be Korsak or Maura.

"Hey, sweetie." Maura whispered, walking over to Jane and sitting on the table next to where Jane was resting her head.

Jane looked up, wiping the tears off her face, she turned away from Maura. "I thought we came here because they wanted you to do an autopsy?"

"We did. But Korsak asked me to call in a favour so I could take you back home."

Jane spun around to face Maura. "I don't need to go home, Maura. I'm perfectly capable of being here for a few hour."

"You need to be resting, Jane."

"For fucks sake, Maura. Jason is dead. He isn't coming back, I need to get on with my life." Jane shouted. Walking backwards, Jane hit the wall, sliding down it she hugged her knees to her chest, eyes still locked on Maura's. "He's...d...dead." Jane stammered, as if for the first time she had just found out.

Maura was frozen, she didn't know what to say.

"M-maura," Jane said. "I need..."

"Jane, lets go home." Maura held her hand out for Jane to take. Once again Maura pulled Jane to her feet. She hated to interrupt to Jane, but she knew Jane would open up more if she was at home, where she didn't have to worry about any one interrupting them.

Jane was grateful Maura had interrupted her because it actually gave her time to come up with a speech, she knew she needed to tell Maura everything what had happened. It was going to be hard but Jane hoped she could get through it. It would be the first time she talked about it out loud.

…

Maura held her front door open for Jane. She heard Jane mumble her thanks. Locking the door behind them, Maura placed her head against it and closed her eyes. _I don't think I can hear her talking about it._ Her mind flashed back to when Korsak told her Jane needed her. She remembered her reply to Korsak. "I'll be there for her." Maura whispered to herself. Turning around, she head straight to the lounge, where she saw Jane was sat on the couch, staring at the wall. "Do you want some dinner?"

"No." Jane said, turning to face Maura.

"How about a drink?" Maura asked, walking towards her kitchen.

"No. Maura, stop." Jane said, standing up she walked over to Maura and grabbed her hand. "Come and sit down." Tugging Maura's hand, Jane walked back to the couch. "If I don't do this now I will loose my nerve and it will never come up again." Sitting on the left hand side of the couch, Jane pulled Maura down to sit on the right.

"Jane...You don't have..."

"Maura." Jane looked at the fireplace, stood up and started walking over to it. She was sat back on the couch a few minute later. She handed Maura the framed photo of them both in the park. "Maura, if you're not ready to hear this than please tell me know. Once I start I think it will all come straight out."

"Jane. I will never be ready to hear the things you want tell me." She watched Jane tense up and look away. Maura placed her hand on Jane's leg and gave a gentle squeeze. "But you're my best friend. I want you to tell me, so I can try to help you. I love you, Jane. It's breaking my heart seeing you like this." The shocked look on Jane's face confused Maura. Tilting her head slightly to the side she questioned, "What?"

"Nothing," Jane shook her head, then looked back at Maura. "Maura, you do realise what you just said don't you?"

Maura thought back over what she had just told Jane. She laughed when she thought she knew what Jane was going on about. "Are you talking about me telling you I love you?"

When Jane nodded, Maura grew serious again. "Jane, I do love you. I will always love you. You're my best friend. Please don't ever doubt that again, okay?" Moving closer Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's shoulders and kissed her check. "Don't ever doubt that." Maura whispered again. "I'm ready to listen when you're ready to talk."

"You positive you want to listen?" Jane asked, holding Maura tighter.

"Yes."

Slowly Jane started to pull away, but stopped next to Maura's ear. "I love you too." Pulling herself out of Maura's arms, they both smiled at each other.


	11. anger and a letter

The framed picture what Jane had handed Maura a few minutes ago was still in Maura's hand. Looking back down at the picture, Maura couldn't help but smile. "That was a great day, wasn't it?" Maura asked, eyes still glued to the picture.

"Yea it was." Jane replied, looking at the picture. Standing up she walked over to the fire place and picked up an envelope, staring at it for a few minutes trying to work out if she should give it to Maura or not. Before she could make up her mind Maura had quietly walked over to her and was currently pulling it out her hands. "Maura..."

"What is this?" Maura asked, turning the envelope around to find 'Maura' written on it in Jane's handwriting.

"I wrote it for you the day I got shot just before I left to go home. I stopped by on my way home. I was going to post it for you, but I wanted it to take a while for you to find. So I used the key you gave me and put it behind that picture." Jane explained, pointed at the picture that Maura had left on the couch.

"Why did you want it to take a while for me to find?"

Jane closed her eyes. She knew how that Maura had the letter in her hands she would have no choice but to let her read it. "The letter will explain everything."

"So, I can read it?"

Jane nodded, but placed her hand over Maura's before she could open it. "Not yet." Still holding onto Maura's hand, Jane walked backed over to the couch, sitting down she pulled Maura down with her. "I had everything I wanted to tell you in my head..." turning to face Maura, Jane laughed, "it's all gone. I can't remember any of it."

"You don't have to tell me tonight."

Jane shook her head to clear her thoughts. "I do. But I need you to ask me everything you want to know."

"Jane, are you really sure you want to do this?" Seeing the look on Jane's face, Maura smiled sweetly. "Jane, I want you to talk to me. Stop thinking that I don't want to hear this."

"You don't. You said so earlier." Jane mumbled.

"Okay. You're right, I don't. But as I said earlier I will listen." Maura leant back against the arm of the couch, crossing her legs in front of her, she passed the picture to Jane. She watched as Jane slowly took the picture and looked at it, smiling. "When did it start?"

Jane put the picture down on the coffee table, she took a deep breath before answering, "Two months after we came back from our honeymoon. Remember the Anderson case? The twelve year old boy who was beaten up and murdered by his eighteen year old brothers friends?" When Maura nodded, Jane continued, "we all put in a lot of overtime during that case, everyone wanted the people reasonable for ending that kids life before it even began." Jane clenched both her hands into a fist.

Maura noticed Jane clenching and unclenching her fists. She knew the sign well, Jane's hands were starting to hurt. Taking Jane's left hand in both of hers, Maura started to give Jane a hand massage.

Smiling, Jane continued, "I didn't go home for nine straight days, I spent the evenings with you, Korsak and Frost at the dirty robber going over everything that we had already gone over a million times. I slept in you're guest room because it was closer than going home, any questions or theories I had you were always here. Plus I didn't want Jason seeing me like that. Robert said he understood. He knew what it was like when you can't get a case out of you're head, that's all I could think about. Getting justice for that little boy."

Maura swapped Jane's hands around and began massaging Jane's right hand.

"Do you remember after we solved the case? We all went to the dirty robber, had a few too many drinks. Korsak put us both in a cab and gave the driver you're address. We laid on you're bed with a bottle of wine. I fell asleep before you even opened the bottle." Jane reminded Maura. "I had phoned Robert earlier that day to tell him I would be home later. I never made it home until after work the following day. I didn't even get to close the front door behind me before he was demanding where the hell I had spent the night."

Maura looked guilty, "he hit you because you spent the night here?" Maura really hoped she had misunderstood what Jane had just told her. When Jane didn't say anything, Maura looked away. "I should have woke you up. You were tired, we had just spent a week and half on solving a murder. I thought you would want a good nights rest. I should have woke you up. I'm so sor..."

"DON'T," Jane shouted. Lowing her voice Jane started again, "don't you dare apologise, Maura. This didn't start because you didn't wake me up that night. He was pissed at me for telling him I would go home that night." Jane explained, placing her index finger under Maura's chin she forced Maura to look at her. "This is NOT you're fault, M. Okay?"

"It's not yours either." Maura mumbled. Suddenly remembering something else that happened the night Robert hit Jane for the first time, Maura shook her head. "You left him?" Jane looked confused. "You left him after her hit you that night." Maura didn't need an answer, she knew she was right by the look Jane was giving her.

"How did you know?" Jane asked.

"Robert called me the next morning to find out if you had stayed with me the previous night. He said you two had an argument and you left. He was hoping you was here." Maura stood up and starting pacing. "Why didn't you come here?"

"I did. All you're lights were off, I knew you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you up. So I went to Ma's." Jane watched Maura pacing. "Okay, Maura. Stop." Jane grabbed Maura's wrist. "You're making me dizzy." Pulling Maura down onto the couch, Jane combed her fingers through her hair.

"You should have woke me up. You should have used you're key." Maura mumbled.

"You gave me that key for emergencies."

"If that wasn't an emergency Jane, I don't know what is." Maura couldn't stop the tears from falling.

Leaning over, Jane wiped the tears off of Maura's cheeks. "Don't cry." At that moment Jane's phone started ringing. "I better get that. It's Frankie." Jane smiled as she leant over to get her phone of the coffee table, turning back to face Maura, she asked, "this will only take a second. You okay?"

"I'm okay." Maura smiled weakly.

Standing up, Jane answered her phone. "Hey Frankie, what's up? Erm...Frankie now is really not a good time...yes sure, tomorrow will be fine...okay, see you tomorrow. Bye." Turning back to face Maura, "Frankie is coming around tomorrow. Is that okay?"

"Of course, Jane. You and you're family are always welcome here. I guess I should have told you that more often." Maura mumbled that last part.

If Jane was a few more centimetres away from Maura, she wouldn't have heard the last part. She guessed Maura wished she hadn't heard it know. "Okay, Maura. Listen to me." Kneeling down in front of Maura, Jane held her hands. "Stop blaming yourself for not knowing what was happening to me. I'm a cop Maura, I know how to hind things from people."

"But...I don't understand why you had to hind it from me."

Jane couldn't help her anger any more. It had been bubbling inside her from the second she learned Jason had died. It was all threatening to show now. "Christ, Maura. What do you want me to do? Do you want to hear how he hit me every time something big or small pissed him off? How he threatened me with knives and my own god damn gun. Do you want to hear what it was like to have to go to the damn hospital because he broke three of my ribs."

"Jane, stop." Maura sobbed. "Please."

Jane didn't hear her. "I had to try and talk him out of thinking I was having an affair everyday. First it was Frost, then Korsak." Jane had to laugh at the thought. "Then it was all of Frankie's mates. After that he finally brought you're name up, and it was you're name every time after that." Stopping only for a few deep breaths, Jane continued, "I had to comfort Jason with a bloody nose when he saw his father hit me. I was the one who told him I would look after him, that I would never let his dad lay one finger on him. I failed that one, Maura." Finally Jane's eyes locked onto Maura's, "Laying there in that kitchen after he shot me, he heard the cars outside. He knew it was you lot. Do you know what the last thing he said to me was, before he shot himself."

Maura took a deep breath and shook her head, "No," she barely whispered.

Sitting down, Jane held onto Maura's hands. All the anger now gone. "He told me that I was going to die in you're arms, Maura. He said that he will die happy now, knowing that he hurt you in the worst possible way, by taking away the person you love the most. ME. Do you know how that made me feel? All I could think about was what it would do to you. I knew you would push everyone away. I remember hoping that by the time you found me...I wou..." Taking a deep breath, Jane wiped the tears off her face. "That by the time you found me I would already be dead. I didn't want you to have to hold me in you're arms while I die. I didn't want to have to put you through that." Jane looked down at their joined hands and gave a gentle squeeze. "I didn't tell you Maura because I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want you to look at me like I was a victim. You look at me with such admiration, I didn't want to lose that."

"Jane, I wouldn't have treated you like a victim. I would you have treated you like my best friend, just like I always treat you. It wouldn't have changed the way I look at you." Maura pulled Jane in for another hug. "And for the record, I would ever have forgave myself if you...di..." Maura couldn't finish the sentence. "If you were on you're own." She hoped Jane knew what she meant.

"I never thought of that. I just didn't want you to see me take my last breath. I didn't want to put you through that." Jane said, placing her head on Maura's shoulder. "I'm tired." She whispered.

"Then let's get you to bed," Maura stood up, and offered her hand to Jane.

"Thanks. Is there anything else you want to know?" Jane asked, taking Maura's hand.

Maura shook her head. "Thank you for talking to me tonight."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"Don't be." Shutting the door behind them, Maura led Jane to her bed. "I'll be back in a few minute, I just need to get washed and changed."

"Don't you want you're bed to yourself tonight?" Jane asked, getting ready to walk back over to the door.

"No. I know you're safe, when you sleep in here. Besides I like to have you close." Maura smiled sweetly and walked into her en suite. Walking out about fifteen minutes later, she saw Jane laying in bed, eyes closed. _She looks so peaceful. _"Are you asleep?"

"Medicating," Jane mumbled. Turning on her side she opened her eyes and watched as Maura climbed into bed. "I'm sorry I never told you."

"It's okay. Just get some sleep." Maura yawned and closed her eyes. Smiling when she felt Jane wrap her arm around Maura's waist and pull her closer.

"You can read the letter when you're ready." Jane said, resting her head on Maura's shoulder.

Maura jumped out of bed before Jane even knew what was happening. "What are you doing Maura?"

"Getting the letter. I'll be back in a minute." Maura ran out of the bedroom. She had been wanting to know what was in that letter since she took it out of Jane's hands. Walking back into the room she noticed Jane looked nervous. Slipping back into bed, she waited for Jane to wrap her arm around her again. She didn't have to wait long.

"I'm going to sleep." Jane mumbled. "Night Maur," Jane placed a soft kiss to Maura's neck.

Maura had to work hard to stop the moan that was threatening to escape. She swallowed a few times, before saying, "Goodnight Jane." She turned her head slightly and kissed the top off Jane's head.

"Do you want me to move so you can sit up to read that?" Jane asked sleepily.

Maura thought about it for a few seconds before she put the letter on her bedside cabinet, unread. "No." Maura whispered. "I'll read it in the morning. Get some rest."

…

Maura woke up at 5:45 the following morning. Untangling herself from Jane's hold, she went for a shower. Exiting the en suite at 6:30, Maura knew Jane wouldn't wake up any time soon. Picking up the letter from her bedside cabinet, Maura left the bedroom. "Morning Bass, morning Jo. Do you want to go for a walk? Alright Jo, ssshh. You'll wake Jane." Maura laughed at Jo who was currently running circles around her feet. After petting Bass, Maura got Jo's lead out of the cupboard. Locking the door behind her, Maura's mind kept returning to the letter.

Maura returned at 6:50, after making a fresh pot of coffee, Maura sat at the kitchen table. Placing the letter in front of her, she sat looking at it for what felt hours, but was in fact only a few minutes. Picking it up, Maura unfolded it. Taking a deep breath,Maura started reading:

_Dear Maura,_

_First of all I need to tell you how sorry I am for doing this to you. For leaving without an explanation. You deserve more than that. I don't want you to hate me for this, but I do need you to at least try and understand why I had no choice but to run. I had to run to survive. _

_I need to tell you something that I should have told you a hell of a long time ago. Robert beat me up. Not once, not twice but it got to the point that it happened every few days. If I hadn't gone now I would ever have got out of that marriage alive. I needed to get out, for me and for Jason. He deserves better than seeing me getting beat up everyday. He needs a proper home, somewhere where he knows he is safe. Somewhere where he doesn't have to see his father hitting me. I am doing this for him. He is the only one who I am thinking about. I don't want him anywhere near his father. I have no choice. Me and Jason have to run._

_Don't blame yourself for me not telling you. You were there for me Maura, like you promised you always would be. Maybe not in the way you meant it, but it was enough. It was more than enough. Don't be too hard on yourself. You did everything you could have done. I didn't tell you for a reason, it might seem daft now. But he told me if I ever told anyone he would kill them in front of me then kill me. I didn't want to put you in danger. He meant what he said Maura. No way in hell was I ever going to put you in that kind of danger. _

_I know what you're thinking; She's a cop, why didn't she arrest him. I know the law Maura, sometimes it doesn't work out for the victim. Nowhere does it say that he would have gone to prison. The case could have been thrown out before it even began. Then what would I have done. _

_You're second thought; You had a gun Jane, why didn't you use it. Again I know the law, I could have gone down for that. Plus I didn't, no that's wrong, I couldn't do that to Jason, no matter how fucking much I hate his father. _

_Before you say it, I know. LANGUAGE! I'm sorry. Laugh Maura, go on, I know you're dying to. _

_You finished laughing yet? Good. You know you're cute when you laugh. I'll miss not seeing you smile and I will definitely miss you looking cute when you're laughing. _

_By the time you find this letter, you should know that I have gone. I can't tell you where we are going, not because I don't trust you, but because I know you will come and find us the second the know. I don't want you in any danger._

_I need you to do me a favour. I want you to call Korsak and Frost and tell them to stop trying to find us. I've covered my tracks the best I can. But I know how good they both are. It won't take them long until they find us. And if they already have I know they wouldn't come to me themselves, they would give the address to you. If you already have it, I'm asking you as my best friend please don't come. Promise me, Maura. Please, promise me you won't come to us. I can't hear you asking me to come back Maura. Because if you asked, I would. I would do anything for you._

_I know Robert will have been on you're back, wanting to know where we are. Don't worry about it. He will know you are telling the truth when you don't hyperventilate. I'm sorry to have to put you through this._

_You will see me again, Maura. I promise you that. I will get in touch with you. But I need you to be patience with me. This isn't a goodbye. Erm, well I guess it kinda is. Okay I will reword that; this isn't a forever goodbye. I will come back Maura. I PROMISE._

_Alright, I have pretty much told you everything, but I do need to tell you something else. Something I have no right to tell you, but it is something you should be aware off. I never meant to fall in love with Robert, it just sort of happened. I never imagined my life with someone like him. Hell I never imagined my life with someone at all. My work was enough for me. What I'm trying to say is that once I met you and I got to know you, YOU were the one I started to imagine my life with. Don't get me wrong, I loved Robert, I really did, but he was never the one._

_I should have told you ages ago. Maybe if I did, everything would be different now. I would like to think that you would be coming with us. That me telling you I love you more than a best friend, would only push us closer together. I would love to think that you felt the same way. If I could stay Maura, I would. _

_Don't let this destroy you. Carry on being a fantastic Medical Examiner. Don't push away the people who care about you. If you find the right person for you Maura, hold on to them and never let them go. I hope you find the one person that makes you're heart flutter, the one person who can make you feel like you have butterflies in you're stomach every time you look at them. But most of all, I hope that you find someone who treats you with love and respect. You deserve to be treated like a princess, don't settle for any less. You deserve the best._

_I need to ask you one more favour. Can you look after my Ma for me? I know she is a handful but me leaving like this will devastate her. She loves you, you're the other daughter she never had. Don't push each other away._

_Make sure Korsak and Frost look after you at work. Don't take any crap from them, okay babe? Take care of yourself Maura. I will see you again. Somehow. Somewhere. _

_I'm in love with you Maura. Hell its always been you. It feels good to be able to say that. I love you._

_Goodbye Maura._

_All my love, _

_Jane xxx_

…

Jane woke up to an empty bed. Climbing out she made he way to the en suite before going in search of Maura. She found Maura sitting at the table in the kitchen, with paper in front of her. Jane knew straight away that it was the letter. Leaning against the door frame Jane waited for Maura to finish it. She didn't want to interrupt her. She heard Maura sniffing and knew she was crying. _Why did I have to give that to her. _

"Oh Jane," Maura sobbed after she finished reading. Sensing she was being watched she looked up to find Jane leaning against the door frame, still in her Pyjama's and with one of Maura's dressing gowns wrapped around her. "Jane..."


	12. I'm scared

Jane was scared. She didn't know what Maura's reaction was going to be like to the letter when she handed it to her. _Shit. I never should have wrote that damn letter. Why the hell couldn't you have just left it alone? Good work, Rizzoli. Looks like you've lost you're best friend. _Doing the only thing she could think of, Jane ran. Quickly throwing on her Red Sox Jersey and and her sweat pants, Jane grabbed her phone and ran out off Maura's.

Maura wanted to shout for Jane to stop, she really did. But she couldn't get the words out. Before she knew it Jane was slamming her front door behind her. _Stop. One single word and you couldn't say it._

…

"Ma'am, were here."

Jane looked around, and noticed she was outside her parents house, sat in a cab. She couldn't remember flagging down the cab, getting in or even giving the driver the address for her parents house. _Shit._ Jane realised she didn't have any money on her. "I'm just going to grab you some money. I'll be back in a minute." Jane said reaching for the car door. She saw the look on the drivers face and had to laugh. "Look, I'm a cop, I'm not going to rob you."

Climbing out of the cab, Jane walked over to the front door of her parents house. Knocking once, she let herself in. "Ma, it's me. Where are you?"

"Oh, Janie. What are you doing here?" Angela asked, walking into the hallway. Looking around she noticed her daughter was alone. "Where's Maura?"

Ignoring the question, Jane asked, "can I lend some money for the cab, I forgot to grab some when I left Maura's."

"Cab? Janie, what's going on? Where's Maura? Why is she not here with you?"

"MA," Jane yelled. "Money? He's going to think I've robbed him." At that second Jane heard someone knocking on the front door. Sighing, Jane opened the door. Pointing to Angela, Jane told the driver, "she'll settle up with you. Right, Ma?"

Angela didn't reply, walking over to the door, she grabbed her purse. Pulling out all the cash she had on her, she handed it to the driver. "Keep the change." She closed the door before the driver had a chance to say anything to her. Walking in to the lounge, Angela found Jane exactly where she thought she would be. On the couch with a beer.

"Should you really be drinking that?" Angela asked.

"Why the hell not?" Jane replied, leaning over to the coffee table, she picked up the TV remote and switched it on. She really wasn't interested in what was on, she just wanted it on to try and stop Angela from asking questions. It didn't work.

"How are you feeling?" Angela asked, concerned.

"Fine."

Angela sat in one of the empty chairs. "Where's Maura?"

"Home."

"Are you going to stop giving me one word answers?" When Jane didn't answer, Angela stood up and pulled the beer out of Jane's hand. "Enough. What is up with you? Does Maura know you are here?"

Jane reached out for the beer, but Angela pulled it further away from Jane. "Nothing and no. Now can I have my beer back?" Jane's phone started ringing. She didn't have to look who was calling, she knew it was Maura by the tune that was playing.

"It's Maura," Angela said, picking up the phone to pass it to Jane. When Jane didn't reach out for the phone, Angela asked, "are you going to answer it?"

Jane shook her head, no. Jane quickly reached forward and pulled her beer out of Angela's hand. "Thank you," she said, taking a sip.

Angela shook her head. "Fine, I'll talk to her." Quickly answering the phone before Jane pulled it from her hands. "Maura, dear, is that you?" Leaving Jane alone in the lounge, Angela walked through to the kitchen to talk to Maura.

…

Jane was getting really worried when Angela still hadn't come back in the room twenty-five minute after she picked up the phone to Maura. Getting up from the couch she was just going to walk into the kitchen when Angela came walking through the door. Walking past Angela, Jane walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water, she didn't want her Ma to know she was going to listen to what she was saying to Maura.

"She's worried about you." Angela stated. "She really wanted to talk to you." Handing Jane's phone back to Jane, "phone her. Let her know that you are okay. Sort whatever has happened between you two out."

Putting her phone on the counter, she turned to look out of the kitchen window. "You would have told her that I'm okay. And there's nothing to sort out. I don't need to phone her." Jane took a sip of her water.

"I didn't think you would phone her," Angela started. "So...I told her to come around."

Jane choked on her water. "You...you did what?"

Angela smiled sweetly, "I told her to come around. She should be here in about half an hour."

"I'm leaving." Jane said walking towards the door. She stopped when she felt he Ma grab her wrist. "Ma...I can't talk to her, not yet."

"What happened with you two?" Angela asked. Once she was confident Jane wasn't going to run she let her wrist go. "Talk to me, Janie." She pleaded.

Jane turned to face her Ma. She wasn't ready to tell mother anything yet. She wasn't going to tell her mother anything that had happened with Robert, she didn't want to upset her mother any more than she already was. "Nothing. I just left. I needed some time to think."

"Really?" Angela asked. When Jane nodded, Angela said, "well that isn't what Maura said." Jane looked shocked. "She said something about a letter that you wrote to her." She watched Jane look away. "She didn't say what you wrote in it."

"Ma, I can't do this. Jason's funeral is tomorrow." Jane looked back at her mother when she said the last part.

"I know it is, sweetie. You will get through it. We will all be here for you. So will Maura."

Jane was fighting to keep the tears out of her eyes. "I don't think she will, Ma. I've messed up." She was losing the battle with her emotions.

Angela had only ever seen her daughter cry once, the day Jane found out about Jason. She pulled her daughter in for a hug, and wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter.

That was all it took for Jane to burst out crying. Once she pulled herself together, she pulled out of her mothers arms. She saw the questioning look Angela was giving her. Without thinking, Jane told her mother, "I love her, Ma."

Angela smiled, "I know you do, sweetheart."

Jane shook her head. Walking back into the room, she sat on the couch with Angela sitting down next to her. Jane was fed up with lying about her feelings. "Don't freak out about what I'm about to tell you. Okay?"

"Okay."

Jane took a deep breath. "I wrote the letter to Maura, they day Robert shot me. In it I told her that I was sorry. I asked her to look after you. Told her not to let everything get to her, that we would see each other again some day." She saw Angela nod for her to continue. "In the letter, I told her that I loved her, more than best friends. That I had always loved her." She looked at her Ma, who was smiling. "Ma, I love Maura. I have always loved Maura."

"I know you do." Angela repeated.

Jane was getting angry. She couldn't put it any other way in words. She needed her mother to understand. She had a thought, it was going to brutal but if Angela got it, Jane thought it was worth it. "Ma, listen to me. Every time I see Maura, I feel like I have butterflies flying around in my stomach. All I want to do is kiss her, touch her. Jane stopped before she said more things to her mother. "I love her."

"When did this happen?" Angela asked. She wasn't angry, shocked maybe. But definitely not angry. If Jane loved Maura, Angela was going to stand by them. After all that had happened in the past few months, she knew if they were happy, that was all that mattered.

"I think I have always loved her. I was just too damn scared to tell her." Jane mumbled.

Neither off them heard someone opening the front door. Angela was the only one who facing the door to the lounge. She saw Maura stood there. "Does she know that all you want to do is kiss her?" It was easy for Angela to see both their reactions because she was facing them both.

"Well, I didn't tell her that in the letter." Jane said.

"Then what did you tell her? Apart from you love her." Angela questioned. She smiled at them both.

Maura was leaning against the door, just like Jane had done earlier this morning. Maura didn't want to interrupt. She was shocked that Jane was talking to this with her mother though. Glancing at the clock on the wall, Maura was shocked when she saw the time was already half past twelve. She really didn't know where the day had gone.

"I told her she was the one I wanted to spent my life with, that I would love it if she felt the same way." Tears started to fall down her cheeks. Closing her eyes, Jane took a deep breath.

"Does she feel the same way?" Angela asked, waving her hand for Maura to come in.

Slowly opening her eyes, Jane focused on Angela. "I don't know. I don't think so. I ran out this morning before she could say anything to me." Jane watched as Angela stood up.

"I'll leave you two to it." Angela said, heading for the kitchen.

"What, Ma. What..." Jane stopped talking and tensed up when she felt someone place their hands on her shoulder.

"It's just me, Jane." Maura said when she felt Jane tense up under her touch. Walking around to the front of the couch, Maura sat down and pulled Jane in for a hug. "I was worried about you. Why did you leave like that?"

Jane was shocked. She really wasn't expecting Maura to act like this. "I was scared you was going to kick me out, so I left on my own accord." Jane confessed.

"You ran, Jane." Maura stood up. "We need to talk." Maura started walking towards the door, but stopped when she knew Jane wasn't following her. Turning around, "I don't think you want to talk here. Do you?" Walking back towards Jane, "okay, fine, we'll talk here."

Jane practically jumped from the couch, "no, we'll talk. But please not here." When Maura nodded, Jane breathed a sigh of relief. She really didn't want to talk to Maura about this in her mothers house. "Ma." Jane shouted. When Angela walked into the room, Jane dragged her eyes off of Maura to face her mother. "We've got to go."

"But, I've just started making us all dinner. Frankie is coming over later after his shift. You can't leave not yet. You're staying for the day." Angela instructed.

"But, Ma..." Jane couldn't finish the end off her sentence because she heard Maura telling Angela that spending the day sounded like a great idea.

"Great, that's settled then. Frankie will be here about three. I've just made you both a sandwich for you're lunch. We'll have a proper family dinner later." Angela smiled at them both. Walking back into the kitchen, she re-entered the living room a few seconds later with two plates. Handing both Jane and Maura one each, "I'll just got to go out shopping. I won't be long. Oh and Jane..." She waited for Jane to look at her, "please be here when I get back. Both of you."

"Okay, Ma." Jane huffed. Once the door slammed, letting them both know that Angela had left, Jane turned to face Maura. "You wanted to talk and know you have just arranged for us both to spent the day here. Why?" Jane demanded.

"Because it Jason's funeral tomorrow. You're family want to see you. And I don't think today is the right time for us to talk. Let's just get through tomorrow first." Maura explained, taking a seat on the couch and taking a bite of her sandwich.

"So what?" Jane asked. "We just pretend you never read that letter until after tomorrow. Then what? Tomorrow goes and the next day you tell me that you don't feel the same, that we can't be friends any more." Jane stopped to take a deep breath, "I don't think so. You should just tell me know that we can't be friends any more. Don't put it off just because of the funeral tomorrow."

Maura slowly put her plate on the coffee table and stood up. "Jane," she waited for Jane to meet her gaze, "I'm not putting anything off. We will still be friends in a few days. I will never stop being you're friend over this." Taking hold off Jane's hands, Maura continued, "I just want us to get through tomorrow. When we talk about this I don't want anything to be in the way. And the closer tomorrow gets, the more we will think about it, and the more we think about it, the more than likely we are are not getting any further than we are now. Okay?"

"Okay," Jane mumbled. "So you aren't going to tell me that we should stop seeing each other?"

Maura smiled sweetly, "No Jane, I'm not." Seeing Jane smile, Maura pulled her in for a hug. "Don't ever run from me again though." Maura tightened her grip on Jane.

"So...Now what do we do?" Jane asked, her head resting on Maura's shoulder.

"Now we eat the sandwiches you're mother made for us, and spend the day with you're family." Maura told Jane walking backwards towards the couch, pulling Jane with her.

Jane laughed at Maura when she walked into the back off the couch. "So..." Jane looked away, shyly. "So we are going to pretend like nothings change between us."

Maura sat on the couch, pulling Jane with her. "Nothing has changed." Maura stated.

"It has Maura. Everything has changed."

"Jane look at me..." Only when Jane's eyes met Maura's did she continue. "When I read in that letter that you wished you told me ages ago that you loved me, you don't know how relieved I was that you didn't. If you did Jane, I can't honestly tell you whether I would have stayed or whether I would have ran. In fact I know I would have ran." Maura closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You're right things have changed. But for me now, the things between us that have changed, have changed for the better."

Jane was confused, she didn't know what Maura was telling her. "Erm...Just tell me one thing, okay?"

"Sure."

"I need you tell me what I can and can't say or do, now?"

Maura looked into Jane's dark brown eyes, "same as before, Jane. Don't think about doing or saying anything that you normally wouldn't give a second thought too. Okay?"

"Okay," Jane sighed, placing a hand on Maura's leg. Quickly realising where her hand were, Jane went to pull it away, but stopped when she felt Maura's hand on top off hers.

"I said, DON'T give it a second thought." Maura stated.

…

After spending the day with her family and Maura, Jane really wanted to get back to Maura's and curl up in bed. She had hardly spoken to Maura all night in fear of saying something wrong. She had spent most of the day talking to Frankie and her dad about baseball. When they had talked all they could about baseball, Jane talked to Frankie about work. Luckily, she could always come up with something to talk about with work. She wasn't really paying attention to the conversation, she couldn't stop thinking about what Maura was going to say to her once they were in the car back to Maura's. Jane was pulled out off her thoughts when she heard Maura's voice.

"We should get going. Are you ready?" Maura asked.

Jane nodded. "Sure. What time is it?" The last time Jane checked the time it was 8pm. She didn't know how long had past but she knew she had been talking to Frankie for a while.

"10:35."

"Let me just say goodbye." Jane replied, standing up. Turning around she hugged Frankie, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Frankie nodded, "Janie..." He waited until they both pulled out of the hug, "...everything will be okay tomorrow. Get some sleep tonight. Love you sis." Kissing his sister on the cheek, Frankie turned and hugged Maura. "Look after Janie for me tonight. Goodnight Maura." He left the room a second later.

Angela and Frank were sat talking on the couch. "Ma...Pop, we're getting off. It's late." Jane said. Angela was the first to stand up, hugging her daughter and then Maura. Frank did the same a few seconds later. "We will come to Maura's in the morning." Angela said, turning to look at Maura, she asked, "if that's okay with you?"

Maura nodded, "of course it is. Can we say about 10:30? I don't know how much sleep we will be getting tonight."

"Okay." Walking both Jane and Maura to the front door, both Angela and Frank said "goodnight."

The car ride back to Maura's was made in complete silence.

…

Nothing was said between the two until Jane went in the opposite direction of Maura's bedroom. Maura knew Jane was going to the guest room. Quickly grabbing Jane wrist, Maura pulled her toward her bedroom. When Jane tired fighting her on it, Maura simply said, "You're not sleeping on you're own tonight." The truth was Jane hadn't spent one single night on her own since she started staying at Maura's.

After changing into her nightwear Jane climbed in bed, curling herself up into a ball on the very edge of the bed. Jane felt the bed dip when Maura climbed in.

"Jane..." Maura started then stopped herself. She didn't know what to say. Instead she closed her eyes and fell into a restless sleep. Sometime later she woke up when she heard Jane sobbing. "Jane...are you okay?" When Jane didn't answer Maura reached out to her.

Jane felt Maura place her hand on her arm. Shrugging Maura's hand away, Jane whispered, "Maura, no." The last thing Jane wanted was to be comforted by Maura.

Maura wrapped her arm around Jane and pulled her back so she was lying on her back. Jane was fighting her, but Maura had more strength than Jane thought she did.

"No, Maura. Please." Jane begged.

"Stop fighting me, Jane. I won't give up."

Somehow Maura had managed to wrap Jane in her arms, and was currently laying on her back with Jane laying at the side off her. Still struggling every few minute, hoping Maura had loosened her grip. She never did. Finally Jane stopped fighting, it felt good to be back in Maura's arms. Jane wrapped her fist in Maura's pyjama top and held on tightly, like she was somehow afraid Maura would try and leave her. Finally she was relaxing in Maura's arms.

"I'm scared..." Jane whispered before sleep took over.

Maura tightened her grip and closed her eyes. It wasn't long before she was asleep again.


	13. Jason's funeral

The day of Jason's funeral came much quicker than any one off them would have like. Maura was the first to wake up, quietly climbing out off bed, she went to her closet. She knew what she wanted to wear, her Armani suit. Taking the suit she hung it on her closet door with Jane's police uniform. Turning around she saw Jane was still sleeping so she decided to go and have a quick shower. When she emerged from her en suite forty-five minutes later, she saw Jane sitting on the edge of the bed looking at her uniform. "Morning, the shower's free." Maura told Jane walking to her closet to get her suit.

"I'm not wearing that." Jane said, pointing to her uniform.

"Why?" Maura asked. "I'm sorry. I just thought that you would want to wear it."

Jane stood up. "Why would I want to wear that?" Jane shouted, "I was a cop, Maura. I was meant to protect people against bastards like Robert. I couldn't even protect my own son from him."

Maura was shocked. "None of this was you're fault. You still are a cop, Jane." Maura moved closer to Jane, "you're an excellent detective."

"Maybe not for long," Jane muttered under her breath, hoping Maura wouldn't hear. "I never deserve to wear that uniform ever again." Before Maura had the chance to say anything, Jane walked into the en suite and slammed the door behind her. Leaving Maura stood in the middle of her bedroom, in complete shock. She had heard Jane mutter "maybe not for long." For the first time Maura knew Jane was thinking about leaving the force.

…

When Jane came out of the en suite thirty minute later, Maura had just finished drying her hair. Maura looked back into the mirror to see Jane watching her from the doorway off the en suite. Their eyes locked through the mirror. "Jane..." Maura turned in her seat to face Jane properly, "...you can't leave the force."

Jane walked over to Maura and pulled her up, "we aren't going to talk about this today. Same as the other thing you refused to talk about, this can wait too." She didn't mean for her words to sound so harsh.

Maura walked over to the closet and took her suit from the door. "You can wear what you want to. You know where everything is. I'm going to get dressed."

Jane stamped her foot on the floor, "SHIT," she shouted. _Why the hell did you have to say that Jane? Of all the other things you could have said, you picked that one. Nice one, Rizzoli. _Opening Maura's closet Jane walked inside, she was looking for the suit she wore the day she left the hospital. She jumped when she heard Maura's voice.

"Are you looking for this?" Maura asked taking the suit off of the rail and handing it to Jane.

"Thanks...you sure you don't mind letting me wear this again?" Jane asked.

"Not at all, Jane." Maura smiled. "I said you could wear whatever you wanted to."

"Thank you." Jane mumbled. "Maura, I am sor..."

Jane was cut off by the doorbell ringing. With Maura being the only one ready she walked out off the closet before Jane could finish her sentence, "I'll get it." She called over her shoulder.

…

"Where's Janie?" Angela asked, once she had made some coffee for everyone. They had been at Maura's house for thirty minutes already and the hadn't seen Jane once.

"I'll just go and see if she's okay." Maura replied. Walking towards her bedroom. She couldn't think what was taking Jane so long. Opening her bedroom door, she saw Jane sat on the edge of the bed with a folded piece of paper in her hands. Sitting at the side of her, Jane handed Maura the paper. _What is telling me now? _Slowly unfolding the letter, it only took a second for Maura to realise what it was. Quickly she turned to face Jane, but words were failing her. She didn't know what to say.

"I found it in my uniform. He gave it to me the last time I wore it, told me to put it in my inside pocket and not open it until the next time I had to wear it." Jane turned to face Maura. "I completely forgot about it until a few minute ago." Jane gave a weak small smile. She knew Maura knew she was fighting against her emotions, just like she had been doing for the past few weeks. She was strong, she never had to ask for help. This was killing her. She had never felt so weak before. But most of all, she hated herself for letting Maura she her like this.

"I love you, Ma." Maura read off the paper. It was from Jason. It was written at the bottom off the drawing of Jane in her uniform. Jason stood in the middle of her and Maura. They were only them three on the paper. Handing it back to Jane, Maura whispered, "are you okay?"

Jane nodded. "Maura...why did he draw us three and not me, him and Robert?"

Maura smiled. "Look at the date on the back." She had only just seen it after handing it back to Jane, as soon as she saw it the whole drawing fell into place. She found herself smiling. She watched as Jane slowly turned the paper over to reveal the date Maura was on about.

"Oh, that's the date we all went to the park after that award ceremony." Jane mumbled.

Maura nodded. "We went to the school to pick him up early. You told the teachers he had a doctor's appointment. It wasn't until you looked at me that I knew you were lying. 'I just want to hold him, and for the three off us to spend a day together in the park' you whispered to me, when the teacher turned her back to us."

"You rolled you're eyes at me and told me we could do that after school." Jane smiled. Suddenly Jane didn't care about being weak in front off Maura. After last night she knew Maura would always be there for her. "I can't do this, Maura."

"Yes you can, Jane." Maura reached up and cupped Jane's cheek, "yes you can."

"I'm scared."

"I know you are Jane. We are all here for you. You aren't alone." Maura took Jane's hand in hers.

"Jane, I won't leave you on you're own today. I'll be by you're side all day."

"I can't go, Maura. I can't say goodbye to him." Jane choked out.

"If you don't go Jane, you'll never forgive yourself."

"Well then it will make no difference 'cause I'll never be able to forgive myself for not protecting him anyway."

Maura stood up and pulled Jane up with her. "You have to stop blaming yourself. What happened wasn't you're fault." Maura looked down at the floor for a few minutes. Taking a deep breath she met Jane's gaze, "he would want you to be there, Jane. You know that. He would want you to carry on."

"Stop, Maura." Jane pleaded.

"He wouldn't want you to blame yourself for what happened. You know that is true. And he definitely wouldn't want you to leave the force. He thought you was a terrific detective Jane." Maura rested her forehead against Jane's. "I love you, Jane. Please don't do this to yourself."

Jane wrapped her arms around Maura waist and pulled her closer. "You won't leave?" She mumbled as she started crying again.

"Never." Maura whispered as she she kissed Jane's cheek, before leaning her forehead against Jane's again.

Jane smiled, eyes locked with Maura's. She really didn't want to go through today, she didn't think she would be strong enough to hold it all together, but she knew with Maura by her side she didn't have to be. _I really want to kiss her. Stop. She said she would talk to you about it, it must be a good sign. Right? _After a few minutes Jane dropped her gaze to Maura's lips before meeting Maura's gaze again. Looking back at Maura's lips, Jane leaned in a little bit closer, just as she was about to meet Maura's lip in their first kiss, Jane dropped her head to Maura's shoulder.

From where Frankie was standing it looked like Jane was crying not about to kiss her best friend.

Maura was confused. She was excepting Jane to kiss her, instead Jane place her head on Maura's shoulder and sighed. It wasn't until she heard Frankie voice that she understand. Turning to face Frankie in her doorway, she smiled.

"You guys ready? We should get going." Frankie asked, smiling weakly back at Maura.

"Sure. Can you give us a minute?" Maura replied, rubbing soft circles over Jane's back.

Frankie nodded, closing the door behind him.

"So, what do you want to do?" Maura asked. "I'll be with you either way."

_Kiss you. I really want to kiss you. _But Jane couldn't bring herself to say it. Instead she settled for, "I'll go. Just promise you won't leave me alone. Not with anyone."

Maura smiled. "I'll keep that promise. Come on, we need to go." Maura started away until Jane leant forward and grabbed Maura's wrist.

"Maura. If Frankie..." Jane looked at the door, then back to Maura. "It doesn't matter. Let's go."

Maura smiled. She knew what Jane was trying to say. "I wouldn't have stopped you, Jane."

"I was going to..." Jane started, then looked away shyly.

"Kiss me." Maura smiled. "I know." Maura placed her hand on Jane's arm, "we really should get going."

…

Jane had sat all the way through the funeral with her left hand balled into a fist and her right hand was placed on top of Maura's hand, fingers entwined, gently tracing Maura's palm. Well they sat that way until Maura snaked her free arm around Jane's waist, her head resting on Jane's shoulder, silently crying. Jane hadn't said anything to anyone since they left Maura's apartment including Maura.

Now as they were leaving the church, Jane walked in the opposite direction of everyone else. She needed to get away from everyone and everything. She hoped she could get away without anyone noticing her. She was just about to go around a corner when she heard Maura shouting out her name.

Maura had to run to catch up with Jane. Slowing down she started to walk at the side of Jane. After a few minutes of silence, Maura finally asked, "where are we going, Jane?"

Jane stopped and turned to face her best friend. "I'm going to a pub to get absolutely fucked. I don't know why you are going though." Jane started walking again. It wasn't long until she felt Maura grip her wrist. Spinning around she pulled her hand out off Maura's grip. "Don't." She screamed.

Maura jumped back, scared. Jane had never shouted at her like that. She had never seen Jane like this. She watched as Jane started to walk away again. _Stop her. She'll end up doing something she'll regret if you don't. She needs you. _Maura jumped in front Jane to stop her from walking away any more.

"Move, Maura." Jane said through gritted teeth. "Now."

"No," Maura whispered. "I can't...No, I won't leave you on you're own."

"For fucks sake Maura. Move." Jane shouted. She saw Maura flinch. She never shouted at her friend like this before, and she had to admit she hated getting like this. "I can't do this, okay. I can't handle everyone telling me how sorry they are, and how much they thought he was a great kid. I already know he is a great kid." Jane stopped and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, she opened them again. "He was a great kid," Jane sighed. "I can't handle all the looks from the other parents who are here. The looks that are saying 'I'm so sorry. But I'm also glad it's you having to go through this and not me." She held up her hand to stop Maura from interrupting. "This isn't right, Maura. All these people should not be here for Jason. He isn't the one who was meant to die. I should be the one dead. This should be a cop funeral. You all should be saying goodbye to me. Jason should be here, snuggling up to you, crying on you're shoulder. Not me. You should be telling him, that I loved him. Not the other way around. You..."

Again Maura found herself begging Jane to stop. "Stop, Jane. I can't listen to this. Please, Jane. Stop. Please." Again her pleads went unanswered, as Jane continued.

"You should be taking care of him today. I was meant to die that day. He wanted me dead. A few times he nearly made that happen. Always at the last second, he would take me to the hospital. He tortured me, Maura. Not they way Hoyt did. This was different. This..." Jane stopped as a red hot pain went searing through her left cheek. Raising her hand up to the pain, it took a few seconds for Jane to realise Maura had slapped her. "Ouch. Fuck Maura, what was that for?" Jane asked finally looking at Maura.

Maura was crying hard, backing herself up against the wall, so she had something to lean against. She couldn't believe she had just smacked Jane. _She wouldn't stop._ Finally reaching the wall, Maura slumped against it. "I...I'm sor...sorry." She stammered.

"Well?" Jane rubbed her cheek. She didn't think Maura would have so much force behind her slap. She wasn't at all surprised by it though. "What was that for?"

Maura was trying to calm herself down. Closing her eyes she leant her head back against the brick wall. "You wouldn't stop." Maura whispered.

"So you hit me?" Jane was surprised she wasn't angry at Maura for hitting her.

"I asked you to stop."

"You couldn't find another way to shut me up?" Jane asked.

"At that moment in time...No, nothing else came to mind." Maura said, meeting Jane's gaze. "Don't shut me out again Jane, please."

"I'm not shutting you out, Maura."

"Yes, Jane. You are. You're telling me things that you don't want to tell me. You're leaving out all the details. You're trying to hurt me so I leave you alone. It won't work. I won't allow it too." Maura pushed herself away from the wall and walked over to Jane, as she reached her hand out to touch Jane, she saw Jane move away, again. "See..." Maura gestured between them both. "...You won't even let me touch you."

"It's not because I'm pushing you away." Jane signed. "It's because I know if I let you comfort me, I'll fall apart." Jane held Maura's gaze. "I'm not strong enough to pull myself back together after."

"Jane, you are. You're the strongest person I know." Maura held Jane's hand.

"I'm not, Maura. I'm not strong enough to do that."

"Jane, you need to grieve. You can't keep everything bottled up." Maura said. "Come here," Maura held her arms open for Jane.

"No," Jane whispered, backing away.

"Don't make me slap you again." Maura warned. "I'm doing this because I love you. But I can't push you on this. You need to grieve on you're own terms. But Jane, you do need to grieve." Maura stood in front of Jane and traced her thumb down Jane's cheek.

"This isn't a dream is it? I'm not going to wake up and everything is going to be alright, am I?" Jane whispered, more to herself than to Maura.

"He's gone, Jane." Maura smoothed.

That was all it took for Jane's knees to give way. She fell forward. She felt Maura's arms wrap around her and heard Maura whisper, "I've got you."

Maura didn't know how long they had been stood there. She was still holding Jane up, rubbing soft circles on Jane's lower back. "Jane, sweetheart. We should go home."

Jane sniffled a few times before lifting her head to look at Maura. "Fenway?" She mumbled.

"Whichever you want?"

"Home," Jane mumbled, without having to think about it.

"Home it is." Maura kept her arm around Jane's lower back, ready to catch Jane if her legs failed her again. "I'll call you're mother when we get back to the house. No doubt she'll be worried about you." Maura didn't get a respond.

…

"Maura, dear. Is that you?" Angela asked. She had phoned both Jane and Maura's phone, but got no answer. As a last resort she had phoned Maura's house phone. Not expecting anyone to pick up. She was a bit surprised when someone did.

"Hello, Angela." Maura replied.

"What are you doing at home? Is Janie with you? Please tell me is. I haven't seen her since we left the church." Angela asked, worried.

"She's here. Angela, I have to go. I'll get Jane to phone you when she's ready."

"Okay. Maura...honey, take care of my Janie for me."

"I will do. Goodbye." She watched Jane walk into the kitchen, so she decided to listen to her phone messages which were flashing. She pressed play.

_'Hello, Dr Maura Isles. This is Rebecca calling from Trump SoHo hotel in New York City. I'm just phoning to confirm you're reservation for Monday 11th until Sunday 17th. The conferences have been confirmed. I will put you down as confirmed. Is there is any problems please do not hesitate to contact us. We look forward to having you stay with us Doctor.'_

Maura had completely forgot about the conferences what she got invited to attend a few month ago. She knew she could leave Jane. _I'll cancel as..._Maura was pulled out off her thoughts when she heard Jane's voice.

"You're going to New York?" Jane asked, handing Maura a glass of wine.

Maura shook her head, taking a sip of her wine. "Thank you. I'm cancelling the trip tomorrow. Right now you haven't eaten all day so I'm going to make us something to eat." Maura smiled, walking past Jane she felt Jane's fingers wrap loosely around her wrist.

They stood shoulder to shoulder, both facing different directions until Maura turned to look at Jane. Jane trailed her thumb up and down Maura's wrist. "I'm not hungry." Jane whispered. "But I am tired. Come and lay with me?"

"Okay." Maura nodded. "Just let me grab the bottle of wine you opened. We could both do with something to drink."

Jane walked into Maura's bedroom and sat down on the edge off the bed. _Why didn't she tell me about going to New York? _She watched Maura walk into the bedroom a few minute later. A small smile spread across her face.

"Jane, you are uncharacteristically calm about learning I was going to New York." Maura commented.

Jane took the beer Maura had just offered her. "What am I supposed to say? That I don't want you to go? Okay I don't want you to go." She took a sip of her beer and looked at Maura.

"I'm not going. I'm cancelling tomorrow."

"Why didn't you tell me about going?" Jane asked, as she laid down.

"I did. When I first got the invitation. With everything that has happened I completely forgot about it, if I hadn't received that message it wouldn't have crossed my mind ever again." Maura walked over to her side off the bed, after putting the wine on her bedside table she laid down next to Jane. "I'm not going."

"You should go. You like that kind of thing. You'll enjoy it."

"I'm confused." Maura confessed. "You just told me you didn't want me to go now you're telling me I should go." Maura turned on her side so she was facing Jane. "I wouldn't enjoy it. Not knowing you were here on you're own. I wouldn't be able to concentrate. Plus I really don't want to leave you."

Jane turned on her side so they were facing each other. "We'll talk about this later. What time is it?" She mumbled, closing her eyes.

"Nearly six. You won't win, Jane. I'm not going." Maura firmly stated before she closed her eyes. She smiled when she felt Jane's arm snake around her and Jane cuddle up to her. "You need to have something to eat."

Jane pulled back a bit so she could look at Maura. "I'm tired, not hungry. I just want to sleep." Jane whispered before she kissed Maura's cheek and cuddle up to her again. "You won't win, Maura. Sleep."

Maura turned them both so she was laying on her back with Jane cuddled up at the side off her. Pretty much how they spent every night.

"Safe." Jane mumbled, before sleep over took.

"Goodnight gorgeous," Maura whispered. Maura didn't want to sleep. She loved the feeling of having Jane in her arms. She closed her eyes as she rubbed smoothing circles on Jane's lower back. She started thinking what it would be like if she admitted to Jane that she had the same feelings. She smiled at the thought. Tightening her grip around the detective, Maura soon fell asleep.


	14. New York

Jane was right Maura didn't win the argument. They were both stood in Maura's kitchen saying goodbye. In a few hours Maura would be in New York City. "Phone me when you get there okay?" Jane asked.

Maura nodded.

"I can't believe you're flying there. It's only like a five hour drive." Jane laughed.

"I can get there in less than half that time if I travel by plane." Maura looked around to find where Bass was. "Don't forget to feed him a strawberry..."

"Everyday before I go to bed. Yes Maura I know. You've told me a thousand times." Jane laughed. "Don't worry you're turtle is safe with me."

Maura shook her head. She didn't correct Jane now when she called Bass a turtle. She knew Jane well enough to know that she would never stop calling him that. "And don't use him as a foot rest. Okay?"

"He's a comfy foot rest though." Jane moaned.

"Jane..." Maura warned.

"Okay. I promise." Jane laughed. "You should get going. You're taxi has just pulled up."

Maura nodded walking toward the front door. "I'll be back in a minute. I want to say goodbye to Bass."

"You go and say goodbye to you're turtle. I'll take you're stuff to the car for you." Jane laughed as she picked up Maura's suitcases. They still hadn't talked about Jane's letter. Jane didn't want to push her. She needed Maura to work this out on her own. Walking back into the house a few minute later, Jane leant against the door frame watching Maura.

Maura was sat next to Bass leaning against the back of the couch. "Look after Janie for me Bass. I worry about her. I know she acts all tough but deep down I know she gets just as scared as I do sometimes." Maura felt someone watching her, she knew it had to be Jane. "Don't let her use you as a foot rest. I'll see you in a week. Bye Bass." Maura stood up and walked towards Jane.

"You said goodbye to you're turtle and now you're crying." Jane stood in front off Maura and wiped her tears of her face using her thumb.

"I can't help it Jane. I've had him since he was a baby." Maura mumbled.

"You want me to ride with you to the airport?" Jane asked.

"No, thank you. Frankie is coming around remember?"

"Oh yea. I can phone him and tell him to come later?" Jane asked, hopefully. She wanted to spend some more time with Maura. She watched as Maura bent down to fuss over Jo.

"Be good Jo." With the final rub to Jo stomach Maura stood back up. "No." Maura shook her head. "I don't want to say goodbye to you in an airport."

"Hey," Jane smiled softly as she lifted Maura's chin so she would look at her. "you promised no tears."

"I didn't promise and I can't help it." Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's waist and buried her head in the crook of Jane's neck. "I'll miss you."

Jane wrapped her arms around Maura. "I'll miss you too. Don't forget to phone when you're there." Jane gave Maura a squeeze then pulled back. It took Maura two seconds to be back in Jane's arms. "Maura...you need to go." Jane laughed.

Maura reluctantly pulled back. "I know," she whispered. "I'll speak to you tonight?"

Jane nodded, biting her bottom lip. "Yea."

Maura stood up on her tip toes and went to place a kiss on Jane's cheek. Half getting her cheek and half getting her lips. She held the kiss a bit longer than she planned. Smiling as she pulled away, "I don't want to say goodbye." She whispered, placing her forehead against Jane's.

"Then we won't." Jane smiled. "Maura...you really need to go. You'll miss you're flight." Jane pushed Maura away and walked her to the taxi. "Go. I'll see you in a week."

"See you soon." Maura said as she climbed in the taxi.

"See you soon then." Jane replied before closing the door to the taxi. She hit her hand on the taxi roof signalling to the driver he can go. Once the taxi turned off the street Jane went back inside. Just as she closed the door the house phone started ringing. Laughing Jane walked over to pick it up. "You forgot something already Doc?"

"Janie, its me." The voice replied.

"Oh...Hi Ma." Jane hoped she didn't sound to disappointed.

"Did Maura get of okay?" Angela asked.

"Yea. Just this second. You've just missed her."

"I actually phoned to see if you wanted some company for a few hours?" Angela hopefully asked.

"Thanks Ma, but Frankie's coming over later. We're going to have a few beers and watch the game. I'll come and see you tomorrow though after my physio, okay?"

"Okay. Love you Janie. Bye."

"Love you too Ma." Jane put the phone down. She wanted a pizza and some beers with her brother. If truth be told she wanted Maura to come back. _She has only been gone five minutes. You're not going to last a week without her._ "We'll be okay. Won't we Jo?" She laughed when Jo barked at her. "Lets go and find Bass and wait for Frankie to arrive. He should be finishing work in a few hour."

…

Jane was startled awake by someone banging on Maura's front door. Jumping up from the couch she picked up her gun from the coffee table. Her gun was always kept within reach when she was asleep or on her own, after what happened with Hoyt it quickly became her security blanket. She could never rest if her gun or Maura wasn't near her. And since Maura was going to be away for a while Jane had no choice but to go back to her habit with her gun.

Looking through the peep hole Jane breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was just Frankie. Opening the door, Jane smiled. "Hey little bro. Good day at work?" Moving aside she let Frankie in.

"You okay?" Frankie asked as he noticed Jane was holding her gun.

Jane followed Frankie's gaze to her gun and laughed. "Oh yea. Sorry you woke me up." Walking into the room, Jane locked her gun in Maura's safe and turned to face Frankie.

"Did Maura get off okay?" Frankie asked.

Jane nodded. "Yea. Actually she should be there by now." Jane looked around for her phone but couldn't see it. She could have sworn she remembered falling asleep with it somewhere in the lounge. She knew Maura would call. "Frankie ring my phone for me. I can't remember where I put it."

Laughing Frankie pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Jane's number.

A few seconds later Jane pulled her phone from between the cushions of the couch. "Thanks." She noticed she had a missed call from Maura and a text from Maura. Opening the text she read; 'Just got to the hotel. I did phone you, but you didn't answer. I hope everything is okay. Phone me. M x'

Smiling she turned to Frankie. "The game starts in forty minutes. There is cold beer in the fridge. Do you want to order us some food while I phone Maura?"

"Sure," Frankie smiled. "What do you want?"

Jane shrugged. "You decide. All the menus are in the kitchen next to the phone." She waited until Frankie walked into the kitchen before she hit call.

…

Maura was just climbing out of the shower when she heard her phone ringing. Smiling to herself as she recognised Jane's ringtone. Wrapping a towel around herself she walked over to the bed and answered her phone. "Dr. Isles."

"Why do you still answer you're phone with Dr. Isles when you clearly know its me who is calling?" Jane laughed.

"Because I never know if it is a work related call. Plus its polite." Maura heard Jane huff. "Okay, fine. Hi."

"Hey stranger. How was the flight?" Jane asked, flopping down on the couch.

"You can hardly say stranger, Jane. We spoke less than..." Maura stopped herself. "The flight was...well to put it nicely...it was terrible. It would have been safer for me to use my parents private jet."

Sitting up straight Jane started to worry. "Why what happened?"

"Calm down Jane." Maura laughed. "Someone asked me to accompany them to dinner. I declined. He got a little bit aggressive." She heard Jane's sharp intake off breath. "He didn't touch me Jane. One of the flight attendants stood in the middle."

"I should have been there." Jane said through gritted teeth.

"Jane...I'm fine. He was drunk. How are you?" Maura asked hoping Jane would let her change the subject.

"Maura, don't change the subject."

"Jane...there is nothing else to say. I'm fine. Now, please?" Maura said on the edge of the bed.

"Fine." Jane huffed. She hated the thought that someone could hurt Maura. She never wanted Maura to have to go through anything like that. "Frankie's here. He's just ordering us some food."

"Then I should let you go." Maura said, disappointed.

"I don't...he won't...you don't have to."

Maura laughed. "Enjoy the game. I'll speak to you soon." Maura ended the call before Jane could say anything. She was just about to walk back into the bathroom when her phone beeped indicating a new text message. She smiled when she saw it was from Jane. Opening it up she read, 'Call me later. Oh and I miss you too. I know we said no goodbye's but really...putting the phone down on me...now Maura, that's just rude. See you soon :-) x.'

…

Jane was pulled from her thoughts when she heard Frankie's voice. Shaking her head, she looked at Frankie. "Sorry. What did you say?"

Frankie smiled. "How's Maura?"

"Okay. Or at least she says she is." Jane took a deep breath and pulled one of the beers from Frankie's hands. "She had a bit off trouble on the plane. Some idiot asked her to dinner, when she said no, he got a bit fired up. One of the flight attendants had to step in."

"Maura can't lie. If she says she is okay. She will be." Frankie said trying to reassure Jane.

"I know. But I know Maura." Taking a sip of her beer. "I know physically she is fine. But...Oh I don't know." Sighing she turned on the TV.

"You know I'm here if you ever want to talk." Frankie said.

Before Jane could reply there was a knock at the door. She immediately tensed up.

"Hey," Frankie said as he stood up. Placing his hand on Jane's shoulder he gave a gentle squeeze. "Relax, it's just dinner."

She didn't feel safe enough to relax. She had done nothing but jump or tense up at the slightest noise since Maura had left. Even knowing her gun was in the house didn't make her feel any safer. She hated feeling like this.

…

Jane was happy. Red Sox had won the game 7-4 against Mariners. After saying goodbye to Frankie, Jane decided to tidy up the living room then get an early night. She had done nothing all day so she was surprised to realise she was tired. Changing her mind at the last minute she realised she needed to take Jo for a walk. Shouting Jo she clipped the lead on her collar. "We won't be long Bass."

A hour later Jane had just finished feeding Bass. Making her way to the guest room she realised her pyjama's were in Maura's room. Sighing she walked to Maura's room. She intended to go back to the guest room but after getting in her pyjama's she just wanted to sleep. Climbing in Maura's bed, she closed her eyes. She knew Maura wouldn't mind her sleeping in her bed. Within seconds she was asleep.

…

It was 3:15am when Maura woke up to her phone ringing. Quickly waking herself up she reached for her phone that was on the bedside cabinet. It was Jane. "Hey. Jane, are you okay?" Maura asked, voice full of concern. She heard Jane sniffing.

"I'm sorry..." Jane began, "I...I shouldn't have called you. I'm sorry." Jane ended the call before Maura could say anything else. She had startled awake at 2:30 after a nightmare and after trying to talk herself out of phoning Maura this earlier in the morning. She finally gave in and called.

Maura was worried sick. Jane wouldn't answer any of her calls. Opening up a new text message she quickly wrote 'answer you're phone or I'm coming home...NOW.' she typed in Jane's number and hit send.

As much as Jane wanted Maura to come home, she knew it wasn't fair for Maura to cut her trip short because of her nightmares. She had to answer her phone the next time Maura rung. As if on cue Jane's phone started ringing a few seconds later. Picking it up on the fourth ring, Jane mumbled, "hello."

"Jane," Maura breathed out full of relief. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fi..." Jane started, but got cut off by Maura.

"Baby, don't lie to me." Maura pleaded. "If you were fine you wouldn't have phoned me at quarter past three in the morning."

"Maura..." Jane started, but again got cut off by Maura.

"You've had another nightmare, haven't you?" Maura asked. When Jane didn't answer Maura added, "talk to me, baby. Please."

"Yes." Jane whispered. "This one...this one was different though. This one was worst." Jane couldn't stop the tears from flowing. "I'm sorry, shouldn't have call..."

"Don't put the phone down on me Jane, please." Maura rushed out.

"I wasn't going to." Jane sniffed. "I reached for you when I woke up and you wasn't here. For a split second it crossed my mind that you had left me."

"You know I never would." Maura paused for a few seconds then added, "do you want me to come home?"

"No. God, no." Jane got out in one breath. After a few seconds Jane seemed to realise what she said was wrong. "That didn't come out right. I want you to come home of course I do, but I want you to come home once you're done in New York. After all the conferences. I'm going to stop now before I say something else wrong." Jane had to smile when she heard Maura laugh. "I miss you."

Maura grew serious again. "I miss you too."

"I should let you get back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"You're not planning on sleeping the rest of the night are you?" Maura asked.

"No. I won't be able to." Jane sighed. "As much as I want to. I won't be able to relax enough."

"Then what do you want to talk about?" Maura asked. She knew Jane would relax sooner or later and until she did Maura planned on staying on the phone with her.

"Maur...you need to get some rest. You're in conferences all day tomorrow."

"Jane. You need to get some rest too. You're at the hospital tomorrow." Maura tried to reason.

"Okay. I'll try and go back to sleep." Jane replied, defeated. She was to tired to argue.

"Lay down Jane, and close you're eyes." When Jane started to try and ask questions, Maura added, "please." She smiled when she heard Jane huffing and puffing.

"Done." Jane told Maura.

"Put me on loud speaker."

"Maura, were are you going with this?" Jane asked, confused.

"Do you trust me?" Maura asked.

"You know I do, Maura." Jane whispered.

Maura heard a beep then Jane telling her she was on speaker. "Now I need you to imagine I am there with you. Just like every other night you have woken due to a nightmare. I wrap my arms around you and tell you you're safe." She heard Jane sighing and knew Jane was doing what she had asked. She didn't know if this would work, but she wanted Jane to get some sleep. "You're safe, Jane. I won't let anyone hurt you. You're safe baby."

Jane was falling asleep. "Maur..." She whispered, sleepily.

"I'm here." Maura smoothed.

"Thank you." Jane mumbled. "Love you."

Maura smiled. "I love you too baby." Maura paused for a few seconds. "More than you know." When Jane didn't reply Maura knew she had fallen asleep. Not ending the call Maura placed the phone at the side of her. _She might wake up again._ Closing her eyes Maura wanted nothing more than to be with Jane. _I love her. _Maura fell asleep imagining she was hold Jane against her.


	15. New York part 2

Maura had been in New York City for four days. She was due to go home in three days. She couldn't wait. She really wanted to see Jane. She missed Bass and Jo as well. Just as she was about to walk into the conference room she heard her phone beep. Opening up the new message she smiled as she read, 'I'm at my parents place this afternoon and probably tonight as well. Phone me when you're conferences are done for the day. Want to talk to you. Miss you x' She walked into the room thinking about Jane. She had nothing but think about Jane since she got here.

…

After showering Jane put her Red Sox Jersey on with a pair of black sweat pants. She was actually looking forward to being at her parents place today with her family. _I must be going mad. _Laughing she called for a cab to come and pick her up. Quickly taking Jo for a walk, Jane was back at Maura's just as the cab was pulling up.

"I'll be back out in two seconds." Jane told the driver. Quickly running inside she grabbed her phone and a jacket. "I'll be back soon." She told Bass and Jo.

As the cab pulled up outside Jane noticed her Ma was stood out front. Paying the driver she muttered her thanks as she climbed out of the car. "Hey Ma." Jane said walking towards to her mother. "What are you doing out here?"

"I've invited Thomas around to join us for dinner." Angela answered not looking directly at Jane.

Jane had a horrible feeling. _No. I've got to have this wrong. _"Who is Thomas?"

"He went to school with Frankie. I bumped into him the other day while I was shopping. He's a fire fighter now." Angela shifted from one foot to the other. "He's a good man."

Jane tensed up. "Please tell me you haven't invited him around to set me up with him?" Jane said through gritted. _She has. FUCK. _"It's been just over a month since my husband shot me. Killed MY son and then himself. And you're trying to set me up." Jane shook her head. "It was just over a week since I told you how I felt about Maura." Jane took a few steps back from her Ma.

"I want you to be happy Janie." Angela said taking a step towards Jane, who took one more step back. "Why didn't you tell us what was happening? We could have helped you."

"If I couldn't tell Maura what was happening do you honestly believe I could have told you?" Jane shouted. "I'm out." Jane started to walk away but stopped a few steps later. Turning to face her mother, "I honestly thought you would okay with my feelings towards Maura. I never thought you would stoop so low as to set me up with someone. Just over a month after."

"If it was Maura who was coming tonight would you be walking away?" Angela asked.

"You know I wouldn't." Jane hissed.

"Why is she in New York without you? After what you told her if she felt the same about you wouldn't you be with her now?"

"Maura is my best friend before anything else okay?" Jane shouted. "If she tells me she doesn't love me then fine. She will still be my best friend. But my feeling towards her will NOT change."

"Janie, wait."

Jane did stop but didn't turn to face Angela. "I want you to be happy. Please...just stay and meet him?"

Before Jane could reply Thomas walked up to them. "Hi Angela."

"Thomas, hello dear." Angela said. "Do you remember..."

"...Jane. Of course I do. How could I forget. How are you doing Jane?" Thomas asked, turning his attention to Jane.

"I'm leaving. Tell Pops I'll see him when I get back." With that Jane left ignoring her Ma's question of where she was going. _I'll see him when I get back? Where the hell am I going?_

…

Back at Maura's place Jane flopped down on the couch. She couldn't believe her Ma would do this to her. Yes she knew her Ma would want to set her up, but she didn't think it would be this soon. But what hurt Jane the most was knowing that Angela had tried to set her up knowing how she felt about Maura. After her talk with her mother about the letter she gave Maura, she thought Angela was okay with it all. _She damn acted like she was. _She needed to talk to Maura, quickly reaching for her phone she dialled Maura's number, hoping she would answer. When Maura didn't answer Jane left her a message.

_'Maura, it's Jane. I really need to talk to you. Don't worry I'm fine. I just need to talk to you. Please phone as soon as you get this. Thanks, bye.'_

Jane didn't have to wait long until she heard Maura's ringtone. Quickly answering it before voice mail picked it up. "Hey."

"Jane...are you okay?" Maura rushed out.

Jane laughed. "I told you not to worry about me. I'm fine."

"Well when you say don't worry it usually means do worry. What's happened?" Maura calmed down a bit.

"Can I borrow you're car?" Jane asked. She had an idea and she really wanted to follow through with it before she chickened out.

"Can you borrow my car?" Maura asked, confused. _Surely she didn't make me worry because she wanted to know if she can borrow my car._

"Please. I can't use mine, it's still at the house. I've not needed it since. But I need one now, so can I borrow yours?" Jane asked, hoping Maura would yes. _It would be quicker for me to use Maura's than to go back to that house to pick up my car._

"Yes you can. But can I at least ask why you need it?"

"There's this friend I want to see." Jane said, hoping Maura wouldn't catch on.

"Oh."

She smiled when she knew Maura hadn't caught on.

"Please don't scratch my car. And just remember it hasn't got sirens and lights it, like you thought it had the first and last time you drove it."

It took Jane a few seconds to respond. She was to busy listening to Maura laugh. _God, I love that laugh. _"Is that the reason you have never let me drive your car after that?" Jane laughed. "I was showing you what a car like that is made for."

"It is made to get me from one destination to another. Safely."

Jane laughed. "You did get there safely."

"I need to go. The conference is starting again in a few minutes. Have fun seeing you're friend. I'll speak to you soon, I hope?"

"Yep. You will. I'll speak to you soon." Jane ended the call smiling. _I'm going to New York City._

Turning around Jane saw Jo looking at her. "You want to go and stay with uncle Frankie for a few days with Bass?" Jane laughed as Jo barked at her and started to run around wagging her tail. "I'll take that as a yes."

Picking up her phone she called Frankie. "You still at your place?"

"Hey sis. Yea I'm setting off in a minute. Why?"

"Can you stay there until I come? I need you to do me a massive favour." Jane asked. Knowing her brother would look after Jo and Bass with no questions asked.

"Sure. Not a problem. See you in a bit."

…

"You sure you don't mind looking after them for me?" Jane asked Frankie, again.

"No, of course not. Can I ask where you are going?"

"New York. To see Maura." Jane smiled. "You can ask Ma why when you see her." Jane's smile vanished.

"What has she done now?" Frankie asked, concerned.

"I'll let Ma tell you." Jane said leaning against the kitchen counter.

Frankie nodded. He knew when not to push his sister on a subject and this was definitely one off them times. "Wanna grab a pizza or something before you go?"

"Can't. If I wanna get there before 10 tonight I really need to be setting off about now." Jane said, pushing herself off the counter and walking towards the front door. "Thanks for looking after these two. I owe you one." It was already 5:30pm, Jane couldn't believe how fast time had gone today.

"Well, you know I'll collect." Frankie laughed.

"I know. Thanks little bro." Jane hugged her brother and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "See you in a few days."

"Janie, catch." Frankie shouted.

Spinning around quickly, Jane caught one of Frankie's jackets. Looking at Frankie she smiled.

"It's meant to get cold tonight." Frankie shrugged his shoulders. "You might need it."

"Thanks Frankie."

…

Jane had been driving for nearly three hours when she had to stop and get some coffee. She wanted her caffeine fix. After drinking one coffee she ordered a cheeseburger and fries. She was starving. She had been looking forward to her Ma's meal today. _Why did you have to do that Ma? How could you do that?_

"Thank you." Jane told the waiter as she bought her dinner over.

"Anything else I can get you?" The waiter asked.

Jane her head, "no thanks."

She really wanted to see Maura. _If you had set off earlier you would be eating with Maura now. _Jane sighed. She suddenly wasn't that hungry any more. But because she hadn't eaten all day Jane ate what she could. Standing up she walked over to the counter. "Can I have another coffee please. I'll pay for everything now as well."

"Not a problem, Detective."

Jane stilled. Looking at the waiter she gave a confused look. "How did you know I'm a dete..."

"You're badge and gun gave it away." The waiter smiled, pointed to the items clipped to Jane's trousers. _Shit. _She couldn't even remember clipping them on to her trousers. She wasn't meant to be carrying her badge or gun seen as she wasn't on the job. _I'll be back on the job in a few weeks anyway. _Picking her coffee up off the counter, Jane paid then headed back to Maura's car. Taking her badge and gun off her trousers she locked them in the glove box. Just as she was about to set off she heard her phone beep indicating a new message. Relief washed over her when she noticed it was from Maura and not her Ma. 'Have fun with you're friend. I'll speak to you tomorrow.'

Typing back, Jane wrote: 'Have you got any plans tonight? X'

The response was quick to come back. 'Just dinner and a few drinks. X'

Jane resisted the urge to phone Maura and tell her see would be in the hotel in hopefully less than two hours. Instead she started the car and set off.

…

_Finally. I'm here. _Jane pulled the car over and cut the engine. Leaning over she took her badge and gun out of the glove box and clipped them to her trousers. She knew she shouldn't have them on her but she would never leave them in the car without her. It was 9:30pm when Jane walked into the hotel. _Wow. This place is nice. _Pulling Frankie's jacket open so her badge was on show she made her way to the reception desk.

"Can I help you Officer?" The receptionist asked.

"Actually it's Detective." Jane smiled. "But yes. I believe you have a guest staying here, a Doctor Maura Isles?" Jane waited for while the receptionist typed away on her computer.

"That's right, Detective."

"Could you please phone her room and ask her to come down here." Jane asked.

"That won't be necessary, Detective. Dr. Isles entered the Kastel Bar about ten minutes ago." The receptionist pointed to the bar.

"Are you positive it was Dr. Isles?" Jane couldn't stop smiling.

"Yes I'm positive. She came and asked me if she had any messages. Once she collected them I watched her walk into the bar."

_Mmmhhh. I bet you did. _"Thank you for you're help." Jane drummed her fingers on the desk before she walked towards the bar.

Jane had been sitting at the bar for twenty minutes. Ordering another beer she asked the bartender, "that women over there..." Jane pointed towards the table Maura and a group of other people were sitting at. "The one with the blonde hair and red dress. What is she drinking?"

"Pinot Noir."

"Thought so. I'll take a glass of that and another beer." Picking up the drinks Jane started walking towards Maura. She was suddenly really nervous. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. _Stopping she turned around and went back to the bar. _What the hell did you come here for? _After drinking her beer she drank the wine what Maura should have been drinking. _Go home, Rizzoli. _Climbing off her stool she headed for the exit, with her head down. She didn't get as far as she wanted to before her phone rang. It was Maura's ringtone. Quickly pulling it out of Frankie's coat pocket before Maura heard the tone. She answered it. "Maura. Hi."

"Hi. I hope you don't mind me calling."

"Not at all." Jane breathed out. She had got out of the bar without Maura noticing her. Looking back in she noticed Maura was stood at the bar on her own. "What's up?"

"Nothing." Maura sighed.

"Yes there is. I can hear it in you're voice. What's up?" Jane stood outside of the hotel leaning against a wall.

"I don't know how to explain it. I guess I just needed to hear you're voice." Maura smiled when she heard Jane laugh.

"Dr Isles. Did you just guess?"

Maura ignored her. "I was sat with a group of people having a drink in a bar when I looked around I could have sworn I saw you. For them two seconds I don't think I have ever been happier. I didn't know how much I wanted to see you until that moment. I thought talking on the phone everyday was enough. But it isn't. I really want to see you." Maura took a second to breath. "God. Jane I miss you so much." Maura waited for Jane to say something but after a few minutes of silence Maura finally said something. "Jane...please say something. Anything. Just...please."

Jane couldn't remember walking back into the bar but she was currently standing a few feet behind Maura. "Turn around."

"What?" Maura asked, confused.

"I said...turn around." Jane watched as Maura slowly turned around. Ending the call Jane put her phone back in Frankie's jacket.

"Jane..." Maura whispered. Taking a few small steps towards Jane, Maura felt her knees go weak.

Jane took the last few steps towards Maura. "Hey stranger." Jane smiled.

Maura couldn't speak. Jane was stood right in front of her and she couldn't say anything.

"Maura? Are you okay?" Jane asked, concerned. She was starting to think this was a really bad idea.

"I'm...you're...Jane?" Maura practically jumped into Jane's arms. "It is you. You're here."

Jane stumbled back. "I'm here." Snaking her arms around Maura's waist Jane pulled her closer to her. "I've missed you." She whispered in Maura's ear.

"Missed you too." Pulling back a bit Maura placed her hands on the back off Jane's neck. "Why are you here? Wait...you're friend?"

Jane smiled. "You was the friend, Maura. I planned to come and see you. I actually got here about an hour ago. But I got really...nervous when I was bringing a drink over for you. So I turned around then left. I was actually just working out of the bar when you called. I thought you would have heard the ringtone."

"So you asked me if you could borrow my car to drive all the way from Boston to New York City? Why didn't you tell me you was coming to see me?" Maura asked.

Jane looked away. "I...erm..." Jane was made to look at Maura when she felt Maura's fingers under her chin forcing Jane to look at her.

"I'm not mad at you, baby. Far from it. But what happened for you to want to drive all this way to see me? When you could have just picked up the phone." Maura smiled.

"I wanted to see you."

"You don't want to talk about it do you?" Maura asked.

"My went to my parents place today. To cut a long story short Ma invited one off Frankie's old school mate around. She was trying to set me up with him." Jane let her hands fall from Maura's lower back. "I need a drink." After ordering a beer and a glass of wine for Maura, she continued, "It's been just over month, Maura. How can she want to set me up with someone? And she knows how I feel about you. Does she really believe I would be able to change my feeling towards you when I've finally just told you how I feel?" Jane took a large gulp of her drink.

"Wow. I never thought Angela would try and set you up this soon." Maura had a small sip of her wine and turned to face Jane. "What is angering you the most? The fact that she is already trying to set you up? Or the fact that she is doing it when she knows how you feel about me?"

Jane sighed. "I thought she was okay with us...sorry...my feelings. How could she do this, Maura?"

"She wants you to be happy."

Jane yawned. "Sorry, I'm tired."

"Have you been sleeping?" Maura asked placing a hand on Jane's shoulder.

Jane shook her head. "No. I sleep for a few hours every night until...anyway I can never get back to sleep."

"You could have phoned me. Come on lets go to bed." Maura stood up and held her hand out for Jane.

…

In the elevator Jane leant against the wall. Closing her eyes she heard Maura press the button for her floor, then felt Maura snuggle up beside her she instantly wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulder and pulled her closer.

"Jane...baby, look at me." Maura whispered.

Jane slowly opened her eyes to meet her best friends gaze. Smiling she knew exactly what Maura was going to ask her. Placing a kiss to Maura's forehead she whispered, "I'm okay, Maura."

Before Maura could say anything else the door opened on their floor.

…

"Okay, Maura. WOW." Jane said as she looked around the suite Maura was staying in.

"It's just a room, Jane." Maura laughed.

"This is bigger than my apartment. How much are you paying for this room?" Jane asked. Then quickly added, "no. Don't tell me. I don't want to know."

Maura laughed. "I'll get you some pyjama's." Maura returned a few seconds later and handed Jane a pair of gold silk shorts with a matching top. "The bathroom is through there."

Jane changed and brushed her teeth before climbing into bed. She smiled when Maura walked into the bedroom. "Maura, come here." Jane patted the empty space at the side off her.

"Two minutes. I'm just going to get changed and brush my teeth." Maura smiled.

When Maura came out of the bathroom about five minutes later, Jane was asleep. Climbing under the cover Maura snuggled next to Jane. Placing on of her legs over Jane's she placed her head on Jane's shoulder. Her hand rested on Jane's stomach. "I've missed you." Maura whispered before placing a kiss on Jane's neck.

Jane hummed. "Mmm. I'm missed you too." Jane entwined her fingers with Maura's hand that was on her stomach. "Night Maura. Love you."

Maura waited a few seconds before replying. "I love you too." Maura waited until she was absolutely sure Jane was asleep then added, "more than you know."


	16. New York part 3

Jane startled awake. Sitting up quickly she looked around the room. She didn't know where she was. It was dark and she could only make out certain objects but none off these looked familiar. She knew she wasn't at Maura's place. Suddenly she felt someone place their hand on her shoulder. All off her police instincts came to Jane all at once. Spinning around she grabbed the hand on her shoulder and pinned the person to the bed.

Suddenly Maura was pinned down on the bed both hands above her head. Jane was sitting just above her hips her legs at either side of Maura with her hands holding Maura's wrists. Maura wasn't scared, she knew Jane would never hurt her. "It's just me." Maura whispered.

It took a few seconds for Jane to register the voice belonged to Maura. She quickly let go off Maura's wrists but didn't move to get off of her.

"It's just me, Jane." Maura gave a weak smile. "Just me." Maura waited until Jane started breathing normally before asking, "nightmare?"

Jane nodded.

"Are you okay?" Maura placed her hands on Jane's knees, her fingers tracing light patterns.

"Will they ever go away?" Jane asked, fighting back her tears. She was fed up off crying.

"They..." Maura started.

"No...I don't want to know." Jane rushed out.

"Are you okay?" Maura repeated.

"I just want one damn night were I just sleep. One night that I don't wake up with a nightmare. One night were I don't feel his breath on my skin, his hands on me..." Jane couldn't stop the tears. "Just one damn night." She said through gritted teeth before collapsing on Maura, her head in the crook of Maura's neck.

Maura wrapped her right arm around Jane's back while her left hand was still drawing patterns on Jane's knee. "You'll get there Jane." Maura whispered. Glancing at the clock Maura couldn't believe they had only been asleep for a few hours. Tightening her grip around the detective Maura realised she needed to tell Jane how she really felt about her. "Are you going back to sleep, Jane?" Maura smiled when she heard Jane mumble something against her neck. "I'm taking that as a yes."

Jane nodded. She was falling asleep, she couldn't believe how tired she was after the nightmare she had just had. She always felt safe enough in Maura's arms to go back to sleep.

"Maybe you should move. I very much doubt you will be comfy enough to get any sleep." Maura whispered. As much as she loved having Jane sleep in her arms, she highly suspected the position Jane was in at the minute wouldn't be very comfy after a long period of time.

"I am comfy enough." Jane mumbled.

Maura laughed. "I forgot you could sleep anywhere and be comfy."

"Not true."

"Name some place?" Maura asked, drawing smooth patterns on Jane's thigh.

Jane lifted her head so she could look at Maura. She didn't have to think about the answer she already knew it. "I was never comfy in Robert's bed."

"Ohh Jane, why didn't you ever tell me any of this?" Maura whispered, looking in Jane's eyes.

"Because I couldn't lose you." Jane whispered, she gave a very small smile. Jane didn't want to talk about this any more. She wanted to sleep. To sleep in Maura's arms like she was now. "I'm not moving." She said before resting her head back where it was a few minutes before.

Maura smiled. "Well, I highly suspect you're position will remain comfortable for the rest of the night. Although I must say I'm extremely comfortable laying like this. Did you know that..."

Jane groaned. "Don't go all google-mouth on me now. Can we just sleep and you can tell me in the morning?"

"It is morning, Jane." Maura replied.

"Okay then. Fine." Jane huffed. "Can't you just tell me when the sun is up and its light outside?"

"Sure. It can wait." Maura smiled.

"Maura," Jane mumbled. "Thank you."

Maura laughed. "Jane, you don't have to thank me for not, as you put it, going all google-mouth on you."

"I'm not thanking you for that, Maur."

"No? Then what are you thanking me for?" Maura asked. She couldn't think off anything Jane had to thank her for.

"For this. For everything." Jane whispered in Maura's ear.

Maura moved her shoulder to indicate she wanted Jane to lift her head. When she didn't Maura whispered. "Look at me, Jane." She waited until she held Jane's gaze. "Stop thanking me. You know you never have to thank me for any off this. You would do the same if it was me..." She saw Jane nod. "...I want to help you." She saw Jane nod again. "If me holding you helps you then that's great." Maura already knew it did. "I want to help you anyway I can. Just so you know I love holding you while you fall asleep in my arms." She saw Jane smile and she couldn't help but smile back. "I don't want you to thank me for any off this ever again, okay?"

Jane nodded. "I'm sorry."

"And stop apologizing."

"Sorry." Jane mumbled. "Oops. Erm...sorry."

Maura laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Did you just roll you're eyes at me? " Jane laughed.

Maura shook her head. "Are you still comfy enough to sleep like this?"

"Yep." Jane for the third time that night rested her head back where it was before. "I got you to roll you're eyes." Jane whispered in Maura's ear.

Maura laughed. "Go to sleep Jane."

…

Maura was the first one to wake up. She was right Jane had moved during the night. Their legs were tangled together and Jane was still laying half on top of her. Maura tried to move from underneath Jane but the hand on her hip held her in place. Smiling Maura whispered, "Jane, I need to get up. I've got to be at a conference in a..." Maura turned to look at the clock. "Crap. I've got to be there in two hours." Maura expected Jane to roll off of her, but she didn't. "Jane. Now..."

"Nope. You're staying here all day. With me. Like this." Jane mumbled.

"Jane..." Maura warned.

"Maur...I'm comfy." Jane whined. "And tired." Jane lifted her head when she heard Maura laugh. "Please...just stay until I fall back to sleep. If you go now I'll never be able to get back to sleep."

"Okay...I'll stay in bed until you fall asleep. But you have to move otherwise I won't be able to climb out once you're asleep without me disturbing you."

Jane nodded and rolled over so she was on her side, legs still tangled together with Maura's. "Maur?"

"Yes?"

"Do you really have to attend all these conferences?" Jane asked, snuggling as close as she could get to Maura.

Maura tightened her grip around the detective. "No, but I find them to be quite fascinating."

"Will I be able to talk you into spending the day in bed with me?"

"No...I don't think you would."

Jane sighed. "I didn't think so."

"I can meet you for lunch downstairs, say around one?" Maura asked.

"Okay. I'd like that." Jane was having a very hard time staying awake. She didn't want to go to sleep yet, she knew Maura would get out of bed a few minute after she fell asleep. Turning her head she placed a gentle kiss on Maura's cheek, before closing her eyes and falling back to sleep.

…

Jane was woken up by her phone ringing. She knew Maura had left the hotel room. Walking out of the bedroom, Jane was once again amazed by how big this room was. _Can't really call it a room. A suite...maybe. More like a penthouse. _It was Frankie calling. "Hi, Frankie." Jane said, voice still full of sleep.

"Have you only just got up?" Frankie asked, surprised. He hadn't known Jane to have a lay in for a very long time.

"Well, I wouldn't have got up if you hadn't phoned. What's up?" Jane asked, slightly annoyed. The first time, since Maura had left, she had slept for more than a few hours, and desperately wanted to go back to sleep, only to be woken up by her little brother.

"Just wanted to make sure you got to New York alright? Thought you would have called to let me know last night."

"Frankie we both know you didn't call to make sure I got here okay. Although I did. Are you going to tell me the real reason? If not I kinda wanna go back to bed." Jane sat on the couch. "Hold on a sec, Frankie. I just want to order some coffee." Jane called room service and ordered two large coffee's, figuring she should start to wake up after she had drunk them. "I'm back."

"Ma's worried about you." Frankie rushed out. Not sure of the reaction Jane will give.

"Tell Ma she doesn't have to worry about me. I'm fine." Jane sighed. _I should have known it would be because of Ma. _

"Jane...she loves you."

"Then why the hell did she try to set me up with you're mate?" Jane was angry.

"I don't know. That's something you will have to ask her."

"No. I'm not asking her anything. If I talk to her right know I'll say things I don't mean. I love her, Frankie, I do, but she has taken this to far. I told her I'm in love with Maura and she acts all okay with it, then less than a week later she is trying to set me up with someone." Jane said. _Shit. I just told Frankie I loved Maura. _She had only told Maura and her Ma how she felt. She wanted to wait until Maura decided what to do before she told anyone. As much as she knew telling her Ma wasn't one of her greatest idea's, she knew her Ma would never judge or tell anyone without her permission. _Or at least I thought she wouldn't judge. _"Frankie..."

"Janie...Ma told me everything last night. I love you, that will never change, no matter who you are in love with. Ma feels the same."

"It doesn't feel that way." Jane said, getting off the couch Jane headed for the door. "One sec, my coffee's here." Opening the door, Jane sighed in relief when she smelt the coffee. After the young man had left Jane poured herself a cup. "Right I'm back. I've got my coffee."

"You know Ma loves you. Just talk to her." Frankie pleaded.

"I can't Frankie, not yet at least. Just tell her I'm safe and not to worry."

"She won't like this, Jane." Frankie said.

"Just tell her I'm safe and I'll be be home in a few days. I'll call her when I'm ready to talk. She might not like it but she will understand." Jane took a sip of her coffee.

"Okay, I'll tell her." Frankie sighed.

"Thanks. Frankie, I've got to go. I need to shower before I meet Maura for lunch. Oh wait...how is Jo and Bass?"

"Both fast asleep. Or Jo is at least. I'm not sure if tortoise's sleep." Frankie laughed. "Do they? Doesn't matter, I'll find out. It can be my mission for the day."

Jane laughed. "Goodbye, Frankie. I'll see you when I get back."

"Well...at least I made you laugh. Bye Janie. Tell Maura I said hi."

"Will do." Jane ended the call. She looked at the clock. It was midday. Jane had time to pour another coffee and drink it without having to rush before she got in the shower. It wouldn't take her long to get ready.

…

Maura walked into the restaurant, glancing around she spotted Jane sitting at a table next to the windows overlooking the gardens. Walking over to the table she couldn't help but smile. "Hi." Maura said as she took her seat opposite Jane.

"Hey. Do you want a drink?" Jane asked, smiling.

"Just water. Thank you."

Jane signalled for the waiter to come over. "Can we have two glasses of water, please?"

"Not a problem. I'll be right back." The waiter said, walking away.

"How is the conference?" Jane asked.

"Okay. What time did you decide to get out of bed? You was fast asleep when I left. You looked so peaceful and extremely comfortable." Maura smiled, placing her bag on the chair next to her.

"I guess it was about 11:30 when I woke up. Although I must admit I wouldn't have woke up if Frankie hadn't called me." Jane stopped talking when the waiter placed their waters on the table. "Thank you. We'll let you know when we're ready to order." Jane waited until the waiter walked away before turning her attention back to Maura. Smiling, she added, "but I wish you would have stayed in bed with me."

Maura smiled. "Why did Frankie call? Is everything okay?"

Jane nodded. "Just to make sure I got here okay. Yea everything's okay. He's looking after Bass and Jo for us."

"What are you not telling me?" Maura asked as she watched her friend.

"Okay, fine. Frankie called because Ma is worried about me" Jane sighed. She hated Maura for knowing when something was bothering her, and when she wasn't telling her everything.

"Maybe you should call her." Maura said before taking a sip of her water.

"Not you as well." Jane huffed. "I'm not speaking to her until I'm ready, if I speak to her now...you know me Maura, you know I'll say things I don't mean. At the minute Maura, I honestly don't know if I can get past this." Jane looked away for a few minute before turning to look at Maura. "What she did Maur, it hurt a lot. I just need time I guess."

"Okay. Just promise me you'll talk to her...soon?" Maura smiled.

"Okay." Jane mumbled. "Do you know what you want?"

Maura shook her head and handed Jane her bag. "I'm going to the ladies room. Find the room key and the tell the waiter to put it all on my bill. I'll settle it before we leave." Maura stood up.

"Maura, I'll pay for lunch."

"No." Maura gave Jane a stern look. "I'll put it on my bill. Either you tell him to, or I will. But you're not paying."

"Fine. But the next meal is on me." Jane replied.

"Fine." Maura smiled. She knew better than to argue with Jane about who was paying for their next meal. She knew she wouldn't win paying twice in a row. She never had. Jane never backed down from that one.

Jane turned her attention back to Maura's bag after Maura has walked away. Opening it up she looked around for the room key. Spotting it she pulled it out, she was just about to wave the waiter back over when something in Maura's bag caught Jane's eye. Pulling out the envelope, Jane turned it around. There it was written in Maura's hand writing, clear as day. Jane. _She couldn't have wrote me a letter. Could she? _It was sealed so she couldn't look inside. Fumbling with the envelope she decided she needed to see what was inside, but she didn't open it. Instead she placed it on the table for Maura to see. Jane wanted to see her reaction, to her finding the letter. A few minute later she saw Maura walk back over to the table.

Maura didn't notice the envelope straight away. Sitting back down she asked, "did you tell the..." She stopped mid-sentence, seeing the envelope in the middle of the table. Jane's fingers tapping it. Looking up at Jane, she took a deep breath. "I forgot that was in there." She whispered.

Jane stopped tapping her fingers. "So...I wasn't meant to find it?"

Maura shook her head, no. "If I had wanted you to have it, I would have gave it to you."

"So...are you giving it to me now? Or am I meant to run off, so I can open it?" Jane smiled. She was going to see inside the envelope whether Maura liked it or not.

"Do I have a chance of winning if I argue with you about it?" Maura asked, hoping Jane would say yes. But knowing Jane would say no.

"No. There's no point in even trying." Jane picked the envelope up off the table and began to open it. She stopped though when Maura stood up. "Where are you going?"

"I don't want to be here when you read that." Maura started to walk away. She got a few steps before she felt Jane grab her wrist.

Jane pulled Maura in the opposite direction.

"Jane...where are we going?" Maura asked. She knew the answer once Jane stopped out the elevator.

Jane pulled Maura in once the doors opened. Hitting the button for the floor they were staying on, she let go Maura's wrist. She turned to face Maura. "I'm going to read this." Jane stated as she held the envelope between them both.

Maura nodded.

"I'm reading this while you're with me."

Maura looked at Jane. Eyes pleading with detective not to do this.

Jane smiled. "I've got to Maura. My gut tells me you're wanting to run from whatever is in here. I can't let you do that. So I'm afraid you haven't got a choice. Whatever you have put in here, we will face it together."

Maura nodded. She hated this, but she knew Jane was right. She did want to run. Maura took a small step towards Jane and placed her head on her shoulder. "You promise everything will be okay between us?" Maura mumbled.

Jane instantly wrapped her arms around the M.E, bringing her closer. "I promise." Jane placed a light kiss to the top of Maura's head.

It wasn't what was in the letter what was making Maura so nervous. It was what she would have to do after Jane had read it. _You should have thrown it away. This wouldn't be happening if you had just it thrown it away._

Jane felt Maura tense up, so she tightened her grip around her. She felt terrible for making Maura stay while she was reading this. _You know she'll run if you let her go. _"We'll be okay, Maur." Jane whispered._ Whatever happens next, Jane Rizzoli, you can't let her run from this. From you. We'll be okay. We have to be. _


	17. Another Letter

So here they were. In Maura's hotel room. Jane stood leaning against the door, blocking Maura from running. Maura was looking out of the window nervously playing with the ring on her index finger. They hadn't spoken since they stepped out of the elevator and they had been in the room for 15minutes now.

Maura was the first to break the silence, which was unusual. It was normally Jane who always broke it first. "You don't have to read it." Maura said, just loud enough for Jane to hear.

"I am going to. I just can't decide if..." Jane sighed.

Maura turned to face her, but didn't bother closing any of the distance between them. "If what?"

Jane shook her head. "Doesn't matter." Jane slid down the door so she was sitting on the floor, still leaning against the door. She couldn't take the chance that Maura might run while she was reading. Opening the envelope Jane pulled out the letter and took a deep breath. Taking one last look at Maura who was currently trying very hard not rip the letter out of Jane's hand and burn it, Jane started reading.

_Dear Jane,_

_After reading the letter you wrote to me a while ago, I saw how much courage it took for you to tell me all of those things. I know we talk a lot Jane, about everything. But maybe some things are easier to write about then to talk about. So I'm going to give it go. But before I do, I need to tell you I don't know where this letter is going. I just picked up a pen and some paper and before I knew what I was doing I was writing this. So I might jump around a bit, but please, bare with me. _

"Stop." Maura begged.

Jane looked up to see her best friend sat on the floor leant against the couch. "What's up?"

"I just need you to know something before you read the rest." Maura said, avoiding looking at Jane.

"What?" Jane asked, confused.

"I need you to know that what I wrote in there..." But Maura couldn't finish what she wanted to say. She had no idea what she would say to make up for breaking Jane's heart after she read the letter. Maura stood up, quite quickly and starting walking towards the bathroom. "I'm going to have a shower."

"Maura..." But Jane was too late. Maura had already closed and locked the door behind her. _How the fuck can one letter do this to us? What the hell has she wrote in to make her act like this. _Jane picked the letter up off the floor and sat on the couch. She continued reading.

_I still remember that day in October like it happened a few hours ago. Tuesday 14__th__. I don't know what you remember from that day, we always seem to avoid the subject. Do you remember us going to lunch? You had to beg me to go with you, I wanted to get finish the autopsy. But you just wouldn't stop asking, so in the end I said yes. You acted like you had just won the lottery. I couldn't help but laugh at you. I was surprised when you pulled up outside of the restaurant, __L'Espalier. That wasn't a place you would ever pick. I knew then that something was either very wrong or that you was going to be giving me some fantastic news. We sat all the way through lunch but neither came. I was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, I was wrong. _

_After a lovely dinner, which you paid for. You wouldn't acknowledge me wanting to pay. We set off back to work. You came back to Morgue with me, you stayed for a while. Which I was happy about. I hadn't seen you for a while. It was 2:05 when you said you had to get going. I was disappointed. You came over to me and thanked me for joining you. You hugged me. But before you pulled back you said 'Goodbye, M.' There was something very wrong about all this. I knew the second the words left you're mouth. The sounded so...so final. I was starting to get scared. You must have seen it in my eyes, because you kissed my cheek and whispered, 'I'm sorry.' But before I had the chance to say anything to you, you were gone. I had never seen you move so fast. _

_If I had been thinking clearly I would have ran after you. But something in you're voice begged me not to. I decided not to go after you. That I would pick up a bottle of wine on my way home and go straight over to yours. I had nothing planned after that. I just thought that if you spent a bit more time with me, like we used to do, that you would start to trust me again. Enough to tell me what was going on. _

_But you wouldn't have been there, would you Jane? No. I understand now, I really do. The lunch was to spend one last time with me, before you left. One last time out of work, just the two of us. The 'Goodbye, M.' It sounded so final because it was. You didn't plan on seeing me again. At least not for a long time. It's the 'I'm sorry' that you whispered, that I can't decide on. Was it an 'I'm sorry' for not telling you? Or was it an 'I'm sorry' for all the hurt you were about to cause me? Maybe a little bit of both. I can't decide on that one, Jane._

_But my plans didn't work out the way I hoped they would. Instead I had to listen to Frost running into the morgue telling me we needed to get to you're place and fast. I grabbed my bag and ran to his car. The drive to yours was quiet. I couldn't ask Frost anything because I didn't want to hear the answer. Instead I watched the world go by, hoping you were okay. Hoping that I would be able to see you're smile and hear you're laugh again. I didn't want to live on the memories I had of you._

_Korsak had to pull me back when we got out of the car. I just wanted to see you, I didn't care about me. But he stopped me, told me that you wouldn't want me running in there first. So I agreed to stay behind him and Frost. I opened the door with the key you gave me..._

_Jason. The first thing I saw when I pushed that door open, Jane...it was Jason. I'm sorry. You have no idea how much I wanted to be... _

_He was already dead, Jane. I couldn't help him. You have no idea how sorry I am that I couldn't save him. I remember looking at Korsak and Frost and telling them the news. Everything we were feeling in that moment changed. I would have done anything I could have to swap places with him. It would have made everything so much easier for you. _

_Then we heard another shot..._

_Korsak and Frost couldn't hold me back this time. I wanted to get...no, I needed to get to you. YOU. That was all that was running through my mind that the time. I came across Robert's body on the couch. I didn't check for a pulse. I couldn't have cared less if he was alive or dead. Only now have I come to terms with knowing that I didn't check for a pulse because I know if he was alive I would have killed him with my bare hands. _

_Then I found you. In the kitchen, leaning against the cupboard a towel pressed to you're stomach, already covered in blood. My legs nearly gave out then. But I managed to get by you're side before they did. You were alive. I don't know if you remember opening you're eyes for a second, before you fell unconscious, but I do. I will remember that look for the rest of my life. You're eyes were pleading for me to help you, but at the same time they were begging me to leave you. I never want to see that look ever again. The ambulance arrived not long after. I must admit it felt like hours. _

_You were rushed into surgery as soon as we arrived at the hospital. I phoned you're family. It was the worst phone call I have ever had to make. Then I sat and waited. Waiting was the worst part. When you came out of surgery you were in a medical induced coma. You're bodies best chance to make it through. _

_I wouldn't leave you're side. I hardly ate and when I did it was because you're mother had begged me too. You're family came and visited every day. You're mother begged me to go home and get some rest. You're mother said she would stay with you, but I just couldn't leave you. I slept in a chair next to bed every night, holding you're hand. I talked to you, but barely talked to anyone else. You're family was starting to get really worried about me._

_After three days you finally woke up. I was so happy. But the happiness didn't last long. I knew I had to tell you about Jason. About what happened. I asked you're parents to let me tell you about Jason. I knew you would hold you're feeling in if they told you. You never have let you're family see you cry. I remember you telling me you never wanted them to see you weak. But I know they wouldn't see you as being weak, Jane. They would have seen you as their daughter, a mother who had just been told her son had died. They would never think of you as being weak. No one who knows you ever would think that. Especially me. _

_You wouldn't talk to me, Jane. Do you know how much that hurt? I couldn't get through to you. I had no idea what to do. The best I could come up with was to be there and hope it would be enough. _

_While you were in the hospital, unconscious or awake, I felt every emotion going. I was scared I would lose you. I was happy when you woke you. But in between them and after them, I felt angry, relieved, grateful, confused, mad, guilty. I felt them all. All I wanted to do was curl up in my bed with you there with me. Instead while you were asleep, I cried in that chair, holding you're hand. I was strong when you were awake. I was strong when you're family came to visit you. I only ever cried when I was alone. But I did cry in front of Korsak and Frost for the first time, when I went to ask them for help. After that you pretty much know everything that happened._

_I wasn't surprised you started having nightmares. I knew you had them after everything that had happened with Hoyt. But you got over them once Jane, you will be able to do it again. I know you're terrified when you wake up from one. I honestly don't blame you. I would be too. But you need to stop worrying that you're going to hurt me as soon as you wake up. I know you never would, Jane. It only takes one word from me and I already know you're starting to relax, I can see it. I love how you can start to relax from just one word or one touch from me. I love how you can relax enough to go back to sleep after a nightmare, with me holding you. I will never get tired off being able to hold you, to be able to wrap my arms around you and pull you close. _

_I need you to know that when I read the letter you wrote to me, I never thought of running away from you. But when I turned around and saw you leaning against the door, I knew you thought I was going to run. I wouldn't have, Jane. I couldn't have. I will never want to run from you. From us. You see Jane, everything you wrote in the letter about how you felt for me, I feel the same. _

_I don't know when I fell in love with you. I don't know how it happened. I built so many walls are me when I was growing up. All of them to protect me. I never expected anyone to be able to break through. But one by one you managed to break through every single one I had built. And before I knew it, you were in my heart. There was nothing I could do. So, Jane...I know two things. The first is that I love you. The second is that I'm so glad it happened between us. _

_In you're letter you told me, and these are you're exact words:_

_'__If you find the right person for you Maura, hold on to them and never let them go. I hope you find the one person that makes you're heart flutter, the one person who can make you feel like you have butterflies in you're stomach every time you look at them. But most of all, I hope that you find someone who treats you with love and respect. You deserve to be treated like a princess, don't settle for any less. You deserve the best.' _

_You're the right person for me, Jane. You're the one person that makes my heart flutter, the one person who makes me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach. You treat me with love and respect. I don't need to be treated like a princess, Jane. But without knowing it you treat me like one. I do deserve the best, and the best for me...Jane, its you. So if you had gone, I never would have found the right person for me. Because the right person for me wouldn't even have been in Boston any more. I don't blame you, Jane. I know you was going to do the only thing you thought you could do to escape safely. For you and Jason to escape safely. _

_Now here I am, sat in my hotel room in New York City, wishing more than anything that I was with you in Boston. God, Jane...you have no idea how much I wish I was with you, holding you. How much I miss you. Everything we have been through these past few months, its been hard, Jane. For both off us. If we can get through this, surely we can get through anything life throws at us. But I do need to know that we will always be best friends, no matter what happens between us romantically. I can't lose you, Jane. But surprisingly its not that that I'm worried about. I know we wouldn't survive without each other. It's that what really scares me, Jane. Never in my entire life have I needed someone to survive. But now I do. Now that Jane, that scares me more than anything. _

_I love you Jane Rizzoli. _

_I'll see you soon._

_Love always,_

_Maura xx_

Jane took an unsteady breath and wiped the tears off her cheeks. _I really hurt her. _Placing the letter on the table in front off her, Jane stood up. _She told me she loves me. Surely that means I can fix this. _Walking over to the bathroom door, Jane knocked. She didn't get an answer. Trying the door she remember Maura locked it after her. She desperately needed to see Maura. Doing the only think she could think off, Jane shouted, "Maura...come out...or let me in." She waited a few seconds then added, "Fine...I'll break the damn door." She waited a few seconds, she knew that would get Maura to unlock the door. Faintly she heard the door get unlocked but it didn't open. Taking a few deep breaths, Jane opened the door. She saw Maura leaning the bath tub, shaking. Jane knew she was crying. When she reached Maura, she bent down so she was level with her. "Hey, sweetie...we're going to be okay. We'll figure all this out later. Just please stop crying." Jane gently placed her hand on Maura's shoulder. "Look at me."

Slowly Maura looked up. Looking straight into the detective's eyes Maura saw nothing but love. _This is going to break my heart as well. Not just Jane's. _

"We'll be okay." Jane whispered, giving a small smile.

"Don't say that." Maura said. "We won't be."

Jane was confused. "We will be okay, Maura. We are okay."

Maura started to stand up. "Stop saying that, Jane. Don't make this any harder for me to do."

"For you to do what, Maura?" Jane stood up, so she was standing just a little bit taller than the M.E.

"Nothing can happen between us, Jane. Don't you get that?" Maura asked.

"Okay, Maura. I'm confused. Did I not just read that letter in there telling me you loved me? Or was this all some sort of test? 'let's see how Jane Rizzoli really feels about me?' Or worst, 'let's see if I can break Jane Rizzoli's heart?' Am I close, Maura? Come on, tell me." Jane shouted the last part. She was hurt. _How can she do this?_

"Jane..." Maura started, but was cut off.

"Let me tell you something Maura." Jane's voice lowered, so she was no lower shouting. "Do you know the last time I told anyone I loved them?" Jane didn't give Maura a chance to reply, instead she carried on. "No? It was the night before the abuse started. I told Robert I loved him, and the next day he hit me. I never said those three words to anyone after that. Not even my family." Taking a deep breath, Jane continued, "but once you read that letter, once you knew how I felt, I started telling you that I loved you, telling my family that I loved them. Once again I could finally say the words knowing no one would hurt me after I said it."

"Jane...listen to me..." Maura pleaded.

"You know how I feel about you, Maura. I love you. I told you because I knew you wouldn't hurt me afterwards. Yes I knew that there was a possibility that you wouldn't have the same feelings about me, I accepted that. I would be able to get past it."

"Jane...please."

"But this Maura. Telling me you love me, telling me you feel the same as I do, then telling me we can't do this...God, Maura...this hurts more than...more than Robert ever hurt me." Jane took a few steps back from Maura._ I didn't just say that, did I? _Seeing the hurt look on Maura's face she knew she had. _But its the truth. _

Before Maura could even think about what was happening she had Jane pressed up against the bathroom wall. Their mouths inches apart. "Don't say that." Maura pleaded. "Please."

"Maura..."

"This was never meant to happen. I never imagined we'd be doing this after you read that letter. I never imagined I'd have to say this to you. But I won't...no, I can't make you choose between me and you're family." Maura knew Jane was confused. "After what you told me last night about how you're mother tried to set you, after you told her you have feelings for me. I realised then that if we did this I would be asking you to choose. I can't do that, not to you. I know how much you're family means to you. I won't come between that. You're mother wouldn't be happy with us. I can't let you lose you're family." Maura rested her head on Jane's shoulder.

"But you'd let me lose you?" Jane asked, holding back the tears.

"But you won't lose me, Jane. I'm not going anywhere. We're best friends." Maura whispered.

"I won't lose my family either." Jane moved her shoulder so Maura had no choice but to look at her. "I won't choose because I won't need to. My family mean a lot to me, Maura you know that, but you should also know by now, that you mean a lot to my family." Jane wiped the tears that were falling down Maura's cheeks. "I can't lose you, Maur. Not now."

"But you're Mother...she obviously doesn't like the idea of us. I want you're mother to be happy for us, not trying to set you up with other people." Maura said, placing her head in the crook of Jane's neck. "I don't want us to do this. But I think its for the best. It will tear you're family apart if you're mother doesn't support us."

Jane pushed Maura back with her shoulders and held her in place. "Maura...look at me." Only when Maura met and held her gaze did Jane carry on. "Forget about my family for a second. Forget about out jobs and our work colleagues, okay?"

Maura nodded, slowly.

"Okay...so its just us. You and me. Whatever we do, its our business. No one else's. Maura we can't live our lives hoping everyone will be okay with us. We'll be happy, right?"

"Yes, I believe we would." Maura said.

"Good. Me too." Jane smiled. "That should be all that matters. Just us. As long as were happy, everyone else will be happy for us. All the people that we care about and love will be happy for us."

Maura took a deep breath. "But you're..."

"She'll be happy for us, Maura. I know she will be." Jane whispered. "She just needs time."

"How can you be so sure?" Maura questioned.

"Because she loves me, she loves you."

"But she doesn't have to be happy with us. We don't know she will be. I can't do this then ask you to choose. I can't do this knowing I might lose you. Jane...I can't." Maura whispered, the tears falling freely now.

"Maur...listen to me." Jane placed a finger under Maura's chin. Only when Jane held Maura's gaze did she continue. "I love you, okay? My mother can think what she wants. If she's happy for us then great. If not...well that's up to her. But I will not live my life the way she wants me too. I won't let her ruin what we could have. But you need to know if she isn't happy, it isn't us who is choosing. It's her. She'll have to choose Maura, 'cause I will not leave you."

"Jane..." Maura whispered.

Jane closed her eyes and sighed. _What else can I say for this women to believe me. _"Please, just think about it. Don't tell me this can't happen without thinking about it first."

Maura chuckled. "I was just going to say I love you too."

Jane pulled back, shocked. _Wow. That I didn't expect. _"Really?"

Maura smiled, "yes, really. But..."

"No...no buts. Please, just leave it like that." Jane rushed out. She didn't want to know what Maura was going to say after that. "Just answer me one question, then you can go back to the conference while I go back to bed."

"Okay, what?" She really didn't want Jane to stop her where she did, but Maura knew if she tried to get back on the subject Jane would shut her down without listening to anything she had to say. _I'll bring it up again later. _

"Earlier you said, 'you never imagined we'd be doing this after I read the letter,' what did you imagine we'd be doing?" Jane was really hoping this would go the way she planned. She knew Maura never lied and she was relying on that fact now. But she also knew Maura was very good at avoiding questions she didn't want to answer.

Maura's smile grew as she remembered just how things went in her imagination. _This is perfect. Jane cut me off before I could finish, maybe I could tell her now. No...Maura, no. If you do this right there won't be any need for words. _"Do you really want to know?" Maura asked.

"Yes," Jane replied, without any hesitation. She watched as Maura slowly nodded her head, then placed rested it on Jane's shoulder. "Tell me," Jane whispered.


	18. Imagination

"Are you really sure you want to hear this?" Maura asked, she still had Jane pressed up against the wall.

"Yes." Jane whispered. "What did you imagine we would have done?" She smiled as Maura rested her head against her shoulder again.

"Here or at our house?" Maura asked. She didn't know when she started calling it our house, she didn't really care. _It feels right calling it our house. _

"Here." Jane whispered, not really knowing where Maura was going with this.

Maura nodded. "After I gave it to you, I would have gone back to the conference leaving you to read it on alone." Maura started remembering everything she had imagined would have happened. "Once you read it you would have tried to phone me, hanging up after a few rings you decided it would be best to text me, telling me you needed to see me. Finally after waiting around for a reply from me you would have come to find me." Maura took a deep breath then continued, "you would have quite easily spotted me in the conference room, but you would have stood back and just watched me for a while." Maura snaked one of her hands around Jane's back trying to pull her closer. "I know the second you walk into any room I'm already in. God, Jane. I always love knowing you're watching me. Makes me feels safe."

"Maur..." Jane whispered. She wasn't surprised when Maura ignored her.

"After a while you would have come over to me, not caring that everyone was looking at you. You would have told me you needed to speak to me now, you wouldn't have given me any option but to leave. When I stood up you smiled at me, and oh my god Jane, it's that one smile that tells me I've made the right decision giving you that letter." Maura pulls back so she is no longer in Jane's arms, to see the exact smile she had just told Jane about currently on her face. Maura smiles back, "yes Jane, that smile."

For the next few seconds they just stood smiling each other. Maura was the first to break the silence. "You would have grabbed my hand and pulled me out the conference room. Neither of us would have spoke until we were in the elevator and then it would have only took me whispering you're name for you to pull me into you're arms." Maura squealed when she felt Jane pull her towards her.

"Like this?" Jane whispered, wrapping her arms around Maura's waist.

"Mmmhh." Maura mumbled, resting her head back on Jane's shoulder.

Jane was surprised when Maura didn't try and pull away. She wouldn't have let her go even if she did. "Carry on," Jane whispered.

Maura lifted her head to look at Jane, who in return tightened her grip around the M.E thinking she was going to try and run.

"You're enjoying this." Maura stated.

"Yep. I didn't know you imagined this. I like hearing you talk like this." Jane smiled.

Maura laughed and rested her head back on Jane's shoulder. "In the elevator you would have told me you loved me."

"I love you." Jane whispered.

Maura smiled. "I wouldn't have wanted to talk, Jane. So instead I would have leant up and kissed you. Just lightly and it would've only lasted a few seconds. But it would have been our first kiss."

Jane kissed the top of Maura's head. _If only she wasn't resting her head on my shoulder, I would have been able to kiss her lips. _"Carry on," Jane whispered.

"We shouldn't do this, Jane."

Jane pulled back a little so she could look at Maura. "You can't stop there. Carry on."

"Jane..." Maura whispered.

"So you want to go back to the conference?" Jane asked letting her arms fall to her sides. "I'm going back to bed. I'll meet you for dinner, let me know what time you'll be finished." Jane walked out of the bathroom and went in the direction off the bedroom.

Maura didn't want to go back to the conference. It was the last thing she wanted to do. But she was scared if she continued where she was going with the imagination she wouldn't be able to stop. Her mind was made up when she looked up and saw Jane leave the bathroom. Running up behind her Maura slipped her hand around Jane waist.

Jane stopped dead in her tracks once she felt Maura's hand resting on her stomach.

"We would have walked through the door hand in hand, after closing it behind you, you would have pushed me up against it." Maura whispered in Jane's ear. She pulled back when she felt Jane moving. Before she knew it Jane had her pressed up against the bathroom door.

Jane pressed her body flush with Maura's. Smiling, Jane whispered, "like this?"

"Jane..." Maura whimpered.

"Carry on."

"You would have started kissing my neck..." Maura had to stop as a small gasp escaped her mouth from the feather light kisses Jane started placing on her neck.

"Maur?"

"I can't carry on with you doing that." Maura pushed Jane back by the shoulders, so she could take a minute to calm herself down. _God...that mouth. If she can do that to me just from kissing my neck I'd love to know what else she can do to me. _

Jane smiled. "Fine." She huffed. "I'll keep my mouth to myself." She placed her head on Maura's shoulder, her mouth a few inches from Maura's neck.

"God Jane...you're not making this easy." Maura whispered.

Jane laughed. "And you are? I want you Maura, with you talking like this is making it hard for me not to have you."

Maura gulped, "Jane..."

"But I want to hear this." Jane kissed Maura's neck, then whispered, "I need to hear this."

"Take me to bed Jane." Maura said.

Jane pulled back.

Maura misread the look on Jane's face. "I would have then asked you to take me to bed." Maura rushed out, hoping Jane thought she was still going on with the imagination.

Jane took Maura's hand and pulled her towards the bedroom.

All of a sudden Maura wasn't sure about anything. "Jane...what are we doing?"

"What feels right. Aren't we?" Jane turned to face Maura, "if you're not sure about this..."

"I am. It does feel right." Maura smiled.

"Good." Jane whispered. Gently pushing Maura on the bed Jane laid at the side off her. Both laid on their backs staring at the ceiling. Both knew what would be happening in a little while. After a while Jane turned to lay on her side, she lifted herself up so she could lean on her elbow. Their eyes met and held while Jane's hand found its way under Maura's shirt, her fingers tracing light patterns on her stomach. She smiled as she watched Maura's eyes flutter close at the touch. "Do you want me to move my hand or is this okay?"

"It...It's okay."

"So...are you going to pick up where you left off?" Jane asked.

Maura opened her eyes and smiled. "You really want to hear this don't you?"

Jane nodded. "I do."

"Okay." Maura closed her eyes again and sighed. "We would have just stayed like this just kissing. After a while you would have started unbuttoning my shirt." She took a deep breath as she felt Jane move her hand from under her shirt to start unbuttoning it. She only managed to unbutton a couple off buttons until she noticed Maura wasn't breathing. Lowering her head so her mouth was next to Maura's ear, Jane whispered, "breathe, babe. You need to breathe." Jane heard Maura mutter something but she couldn't make it out, so she lifted her head to look at Maura. "What did you just say?"

"Jane..." Maura pleaded.

"No. That wasn't it. What did you say?"

Maura opened her eyes, they quickly locked with Jane's. "I said...So much better."

Jane smiled. "Carry..."

"Carry on, I know." Maura smiled.

Jane took that as her cue to carry on unbuttoning Maura's shirt. She only had a couple off buttons left to undo when she felt Maura place a hand on top of hers, making Jane unable to unbutton the last remaining ones. Jane looked back at Maura who was doing everything she could not to look at the detective. When Jane did catch Maura's gaze, she knew she was scared.

"Can I talk to my best friend, please?" Maura whispered.

Jane rested her hand back on Maura's stomach. "I never went anywhere." Jane whispered. "Talk to me Maur, please."

"What if we're making a mistake?"

"Do you believe we are?" Jane asked, once again her fingers starting to trace light patterns again.

"No." Maura gulped.

"Do you want us to stop?" Jane asked.

"No." Maura returned Jane's smile. "So...we should continue?"

"I can't make that decision for you Maura. You have to want this, you..." Jane was cut off.

"I do. I do want this." Maura whispered.

"What is you're heart telling you?"

"That's the problem Jane, my heart is screaming at me to make love to you right now..." Maura smiled. "But my head is telling me that even if this works between us, sooner or later we are going to tear each other apart." Maura was trying not to cry at the thought, but she couldn't stop the lone tear from rolling down her cheek.

Jane wiped the tear away with her thumb. "I prefer what you're heart is telling you. But you need to know that if we, for some reason, tear our relationship apart nothing can tear our friendship apart. We've already proved that with everything we have been through. If we don't work out, I'm not going anywhere. You're my best friend Maura, nothing will change that."

Maura nodded. "So...Best friends before anything else?"

"Yes. Best friends before anything else." Jane smiled.

"Now what?" Maura asked.

"That's all up to you."

"Jane..." Maura sighed. "Don't put everything on me."

Jane smiled. "But it is all on you, Maura. I'll be happy either way." Leaning down Jane place a soft kiss to Maura's cheek.

"Nothing has happened. How could you be happy either way?" Maura looked away.

"Maura, look at us. If nothing has happened between us why are we laid like this. Something has happened. We both feel the same way about each other, right?" Jane asked.

Maura nodded.

"Then as long as we don't run from this then I'll be happy to leave things the way they are now. We don't have to rush things Maura." Jane smiled as she placed another kiss to Maura's cheek.

Maura smiled. "Jane...kiss me."

Jane nodded as she slowly leant in. She stopped a few inches from kissing Maura's lip. "Are you sure, Maura?"

Maura looked in Jane's eyes. She had never wanted anything as much as she wanted Jane to kiss her. Placing a hand behind Jane's neck, Maura pulled her closer but stopped when they were millimetres apart. "I want this, Jane." Maura whispered, before pulling Jane down to meet her lips.

It was a chaste kiss. It only lasted a few seconds before Jane started to pull away. Maura wouldn't have it. She pulled Jane back down to her and started to deepen the kiss. They pulled away a few minute later. Jane rested her forehead against Maura's. "I love you, Maura." Jane whispered.

"I love you too." Maura leant up and placed a kiss to Jane's lip. "What you said earlier about you're mother, did you mean it?"

"I will not let her ruin this for us. But I really do think once she has got her head around the idea, she'll support us. If not...it's her problem. Not ours. Okay?" Jane kissed Maura's nose. "She'll be happy were happy."

Maura smiled. "And if she isn't?"

"Like I said...It will be her problem." Jane smiled. She rolled onto her back and held Maura's hand. "Are you okay? I mean with all this?"

"Yes. Are you?" Maura turned onto her side so she could look at Jane.

"Yes." Jane's eyes closed as she felt Maura's hand snake under her tank top.

"You didn't finish with my shirt." Maura whispered in Jane's ear, before placing kisses along Jane's jaw line.

"Maura..." Jane whispered.

Maura smiled and pulled back so she could look at Jane. "I want this, Jane. I really do."

Jane nodded. She didn't trust her voice at this second.

Maura leant back down and captured Jane's lips with her own. Pulling back when they both needed to breath.

"Jesus...Maur..."

"I want this to be about you..." Maura moved her hand further up Jane's stomach. "I want to be able to touch you, kiss you, feel you." Maura moved her mouth to Jane's neck, her hand moving ever so slowly up Jane's stomach. "I want to taste you."

Jane moaned, it was the first ever time Maura had talked like this to her, and it was doing wonders to Jane. "Maura...please."

Maura stilled her hand. "Do you want this, Jane?" Maura mumbled against Jane's neck.

"Ye...Christ...Maura, yes." Jane panted.

Maura smirked and started moving her hand in the opposite direction, quicker then before. Maura smiled as she heard Jane's irregular breathing. She knew her breathing matched Jane's. Stopping what she doing she straddled Jane and looked down to see Jane with her mouth parted and eyes closed. "Look at me, Jane?"

Jane slowly opened her eyes to see Maura straddling her, her shirt half open, hair a mess, her chest heaving and a smile spread across Maura's face. All she could see in arousal and love in Maura's eyes and she would bet her life that her own eyes matched.

Maura leaned forward and kissed Jane, her hands fumbling to open Jane's jeans. Once they were opened, Maura lifted her own hips up a little so she could get her hand in Jane's panties. Just as she was going to she felt Jane grab her hand and pull away from their kiss. She heard Jane sob, and she knew she had lost her.

Jane quickly got up from under Maura and practically ran to the bathroom. Slamming the door behind her, Jane slid down the wall so she was sat on the floor. _I need to tell her._

Maura laid on the bed, wondering what the hell had happened. She knew Jane was keeping something from her. Twenty minutes later, Maura got up from the bed and fastened her shirt back up before walking to the bathroom door. She pushed on it gently, expecting it to be locked, it was a shock when it creaked open, revealing Jane sat on the floor, her head in her arms, sobbing. Maura bent a little and tucked her hands under Jane's arms to pull her up.

Jane stood up quite easily but refused to look at Maura. She kept her head down as Maura guided her to the couch. Jane was pulled down on to the couch once Maura has sat. Quickly turning around so she had her back to Maura, Jane pulled her legs up to her chest.

Maura sighed. Placing her hands on Jane's shoulders, Maura pulled her back.

Jane tried to put up a fight, but ending up just resting her head on the arm off the couch. Her gaze still avoiding Maura.

"What happened?" Maura whispered, her fingers tracing the scar just above Jane's breast. She had never seen it before today. She felt Jane tense up. "It's just me, Jane. Talk to me."

"I...I...Maura, I can't." Jane stammered.

"Did Robert do this to you?" Maura asked, her voice just above a whisper.

Jane nodded, she placed her head on Maura's shoulder. She refused to cry again. "I always feel safe when I'm in you're arms." Jane whispered.

"You are safe. He's dead, Jane. He can't hurt you any more." Maura rubbed her hand up and down Jane's arm. "What happened?"

Jane sighed. "He came home from work, really pissed off. Jason was at the park with you, Frost and Korsak. We was going to meet you there when Robert got home from work. I had never seem him that angry before."

Maura nodded. She remembered that day.

"I told him I was going to get ready to meet you guys. I was upstairs changing, when I came down, he was sat in kitchen with a knife in his hand. He pounced on me, I wasn't quick enough to get away. He pinned me down on the floor, the knife to my neck. He told me if I screamed or put up a fight he was going to kill me." Jane closed her eyes as the tears started falling. For the first time ever she was telling someone what happened that day. "He seem to come to senses a little bit, cause he moved the knife away from my throat. Then he cut me, told me he was being deadly serious."

Maura knew what Jane was going to tell her. As much as she didn't want to hear this, she knew she couldn't tell Jane to stop. "It's okay, Jane." Maura whispered.

Jane looked up at Maura for the first time since she jumped out off bed. She saw Maura's eyes glistening with tears. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't..."

"Jane, I'm okay. Tell me..."

"You know, Maura. You wouldn't be trying to fight you're tears if you didn't know what I was going to tell you." Jane tried to get up. _She knows now. Just go...let her live her life._

"You're not going anywhere, Jane." Maura pushed back down on Jane's shoulders. "Talk to me."

"He raped me, Maura."

Maura took a sharp intake off breath. She knew Jane was going to tell her that. But hearing the words come out off Jane's mouth, it was harder for her to handle. "You still came to the park." Maura whispered.

Jane nodded. "I needed to."

"I knew something was bothering you. I should have made you talk to me." Maura whispered.

"I wouldn't have talked, Maura, you know that." Jane said. "I just wanted to be with you and my son. I got to spend the day and night with you both. That helped more than talking about it ever would have."

Maura nodded. She didn't know what to say. So she just stayed quiet. Jane closed her eyes, and snaked an arm around Maura's back. "Promise me something?"

Maura nodded. "What?"

"Promise me that no matter what happens, you will never leave me." Jane asked. She realised that she was begging. "I can't be alone, Maura. I don't know what I'd..."

"Jane...stop. I'm not going anywhere, ever. I promise, I won't leave you. Not now...not ever." Maura placed a kiss on Jane's forehead. "I promise."

"What if I'm never ready? I thought I was, I really wanted you, but all I could think about when you undid my jeans was him." Jane mumbled. She never wanted to tell Maura want happened, she had hoped she was strong enough not to tell her.

"Hey, Jane we'll get there. It may take time but we'll get there." Maura said.

"How can be so sure, Maura? What if..."

"I know because, now tell me if I'm mistaken but you were turned on..." Maura stopped waiting to see if Jane was going to tell her she was wrong. When Jane didn't say anything Maura continued, "I know I was. We had hardly touched each other, Jane. That's how I know we will get there. With time."

"Do you really want to wait until I'm ready? You could be someone else who can satisfy you. I'd understand if you don't want to wait." Jane said, shyly. She dreaded Maura's answer, but she also knew that if Maura didn't want to wait for her that she have to accept it.

"Jane, enough. Look at me." Maura waited for Jane to move, to look at her, but she didn't. "Now Jane." Maura said, anger in her voice.

Jane slowly raised her head and started to sit up. Finally after doing everything super slow, she had no choice but to look at Maura. _She doesn't want you. She's going to leave you, before anything has __really happened. _

"I know you're stubborn Jane, but this is unbelievable. I'm not going anywhere. EVER. You can tell me anything and I still won't leave you Jane. I can't. I had a taste off you not being in my life when I first got here. I couldn't even last a few hours before I had to call or text you. I couldn't think about anything but YOU. I became angry knowing that I had everything in my life that I ever hoped for but it wasn't enough. You weren't here. I'd happily give anything I could for you. My job, my money, my clothes."

"You're shoes?" Jane couldn't help but ask.

Maura laughed. "Even my shoes. Jane I love you. And if we never make love then I'll be okay with that. What he did was..." Maura shook her head, and continued on a different path. "Jane, I promise nothing will ever make me stop loving you. I want to be with you Jane. As you're best friend, you're girlfriend, you're lover one day, but if that day never comes, I'll understand."

Jane nodded. "Are you sure about this Maura? I mean really sure?"

Maura looked into Jane's eyes. "I am. I love you." Before leaning over and placing a soft kiss on Jane's lips. She was surprised when she felt Jane's hand on the back of her neck, pulling her closer.

When they finally pulled apart Jane smiled. "I love you too."

Maura nodded. "Now promise me something?" She pulled back so she could properly look at Jane. "Promise me you won't ever shut me out, that you will always talk to me. No matter how much it hurts or how much you think it will hurt me. Promise me we'll talk about everything and anything, no matter what it is."

Jane took a deep breath. She knew that was a big promise for her, but she always knew Maura needed this. "I promise." Jane whispered.

Maura smiled. "Good. Now I'm cancelling the rest off the conference's and we're going to spend the last two days with each other. No one else, just us. Doing nothing but sightseeing."

Jane laughed. "I'd like that. But can we please add eating and sleeping to that list? Oh and some more eating?"

Maura laughed. "Sure. One condition though..."

"Should have known." Jane grumbled.

Maura went to smack to arm but stopped at the last minute when she realised what she was going to do. Quickly she pulled her hand away from Jane and looked away from her. "I pick where we go for dinner." Maura whispered, fighting the sob that was threatening to come to the surface.

Jane had seen the look in Maura's eyes when she pulled her hand away from Jane. "Maura..."

"I'm okay." Maura said.

"No you're not. That promise I just made it goes both ways, Maura. Talk to me." Jane said.

"He could have killed you. How can you be okay with what he did?" Maura sobbed.

"I'm not. But you have to remember you have just found out about this. I've kinda already dealt with it." Jane said, pulling Maura close so she could hug her.

"Jane..."

"It's okay." Jane whispered moving so she could lay down, she pulled Maura down with her.

Maura rested her head on Jane's chest and closed her eyes. Nothing had changed about how she felt for Jane and she knew nothing had changed for Jane either.

"Try and get some sleep Maura. I think we're both tired." Jane kissed Maura's hair.

Maura nodded. "I love you."

"Love you too." Jane closed her eyes holding tightly onto Maura. She just hoped Maura didn't have any more questions for her when they woke up. _You promised, Jane. If she has...you have to answer them. No matter what. _"No matter what." Jane whispered.

Maura heard Jane whisper, she thought it was to add to the 'I love you' Jane had just whispered to her. She had no idea Jane was making sure she could answer all the questions Maura might have. _All the questions I will never ask. No matter what. _"No matter what." She whispered.

They both asleep, hoping this was the beginning off there lives together. No more secrets between them.


	19. Last Day

For their last two remaining days in New York City, Jane and Maura spent every second together. When they left the hotel they went to Museums, went shopping, took walks through the city parks and gardens. When they were back at the hotel, it was like it was back at home, they cuddled on the couch watching films. Well except that kissing was involved now. They never talked about what Jane had told Maura a few days before. They both knew they didn't need or want to talk about it just yet. Today was the day they were going back home. They had to check out before noon.

It was 6:22 when Maura starting waking up. She snuggled closer to Jane and nuzzled her face in Jane's neck before leaving a kiss. She closed her eyes again hoping to fall back to sleep but somehow knowing sleep wouldn't come again. Instead she kissed Jane's neck again before untangling herself from Jane's hold. She if was correct she still had at least an hour before Jane woke up. _Enough time to shower and order us breakfast. _She stopped just before entering the bathroom, turning around she saw Jane had moved onto her side her arm draped over where Maura should be laying. She had to force herself not to crawl back into bed next to Jane. Quickly turning around again, Maura walked into the bathroom before she lost the battle with herself.

After showering, combing her hair and brushing her teeth Maura decided to order breakfast. She told room service to bring it up in about thirty minutes. Crawling back into bed next to Jane she snuggled as close as she could get.

Jane sighed as she felt a someone snuggle up next to her. She quickly wrapped her arms around Maura, but suddenly pulled back. "Geez Maura, your freezing. And...and wet?"

Maura laughed. "I've just had a shower. And only my hair is still wet. As for being freezing, I'm not."

"Yea you are." Jane pulled the covers tighter around her and shivered. "Go warm up. Do some yoga or something then come back to bed." Jane snuggled back into her place. She knew Maura was staring at her, she could feel it. Opening one eye she saw Maura pouting. "I mean it, Maura. Only come back to bed once you're warm."

"Well if you let me near you I'd warm up." Maura gave Jane her best smile.

"Not a chance." Jane shook her head.

"You're not really playing fair Detective." Maura whispered moving closer to Jane.

Jane inched back a little. "Well I know if the roles were reversed you wouldn't be letting me anywhere near you."

"I'd want you to be warm." Maura smiled. "I wouldn't push you away from me."

"I didn't push you away, Maura. I pushed myself away." Jane sighed.

"Are you really going to let me be cold?" Maura pouted.

"I thought you said you wasn't." Jane muttered. "You can lie."

"No. I wasn't cold when I said it. But since then you have moved to the other end of the bed and pulled the covers off of me as well, so yes now I'm cold." Maura quickly straddled Jane before she could move again. "So Detective..." Maura trailed off as she leant down to kiss Jane. It was meant to be a quick loving kiss but it soon turn passionate as Jane's tongue traced Maura's lower lip. Maura quickly gave entrance to Jane's tongue.

Jane moaned into the kiss. Her hands finding their way out from under the covers as one went to the back off Maura's neck, her finger's threading into Maura's soft, wet hair. Her other hand rested on Maura's knee slowly moving up her thigh to rest on her hip.

Maura torn her lips away from Jane's and rested her head in the crock of Jane's neck. "So Detective... are you really going to let me be cold?" She squealed as Jane flipped them over.

Jane laughed. "Here. You have the covers...I'm going to grab a shower." Jane placed a quick kiss to Maura's nose.

"I don't want the covers, Jane." Maura shyly looked at Jane, hoping she wasn't pushing the detective.

"Maura..." Jane trailed off as she heard someone knocking on the hotel door. "Who's that this early. We don't have to be checked out till twelve." Jane pushed off of Maura and grabbed Maura's dressing gown.

"It'll be breakfast. I ordered it just after my shower." Maura muttered. "Jane...come back to bed."

Jane leant over the bed and kissed Maura's forehead. "Mmm, coffee is here. Later..."

"You're passing me over for coffee?"

Jane laughed as she walked away. "I'll answer the door."

…

After they ate their breakfasts, Jane and Maura spent the next hour packing their bags. Maura was stood next to the large windows overlooking the city. She was too occupied with her thoughts to hear Jane walk up behind her. She jumped slightly when she felt Jane snake her arms around her, both hands came to a stop on Maura's abdomen. Quickly relaxing again, Maura rested her head on Jane's shoulder.

Jane placed her chin on Maura's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Maura nodded, closing her eyes she took a deep breathe. "I'm okay." She whispered.

"Are you sure, Maura? Something seems to be bothering you." Jane gently kissed Maura's neck.

"I'm scared." Maura whispered. "What if we go home and everything changes? We're in a new city, we don't know anyone here, we aren't working, you're family isn't around. We can be anyone but us here. For the past few days, I haven't once thought of you as Detective Jane Rizzoli." Maura turned her head slightly so she could look at Jane. "Since I haven't been to the conferences, I haven't thought of myself as Doctor Maura Isles. For once in my life Jane I just seen myself as Maura Isles."

"Hey," Jane tightened her grip on Maura.

"We have just been Jane and Maura. Our phones haven't rang with calls for work, we aren't getting woken up in the middle of the night regarding a murder." Maura took a few breathes before continuing. "I used to love that life. Now..."

"Maura, are you trying to say you're thinking about quitting being the ME?" Jane asked, surprised.

"No. No, not at all. I'm just saying," Maura sighed. "I don't know what I'm saying." Maura placed her hands on top off Jane's. "Are you all packed?"

"Yea. But don't change the subject. We've got plenty of time before we have to leave the room. Come on Maura. Talk to me."

"What we have built these past few days, I don't want to loose. I can't loose it, Jane."

"We won't loose anything, Maura. Yea, going back home might change a few things, Maura, but I'm hoping things will change for the better." Jane loosened her grip on Maura and walked around, so she was standing in front of Maura, her hands resting on Maura's lower back. "I don't wanna hide what we have, Maura. I want to be able to walk up to you in the morgue...well okay, maybe you're office and kiss you. Same as I want you to walk up to me in the bullpen and kiss me. Whatever we happen to come across, we will get through it together."

Maura's smile was small. "But here, it has just been the two of us. Going back home..."

"I get it. Going back home adds my family to the picture, adds everyone we work with to the picture. But it's still going to be the two of us. Once everyone gets used to the idea they will back off, but at first, yes they will probably be in our faces, but they will only be doing that because they care for us. They care about both off us."

"Jane..." Maura started, but was cut off by a soft kiss.

When Jane pulled away she rested her forehead against Maura's. "Or..." Jane sighed, pulling back so she could look at Maura properly. "Or we can just go home and keep it quiet for a little longer, if you're not ready for us to tell people."

"Jane, we are not hiding from this. I don't want for us to have to hide what we are. I just don't know how to deal with it all." Maura looked out of the window again. "We're not hiding from this, but I think it would be best to keep it between us until you go back to work. Or if you have Korsak and Frost over to visit, or you're family, we'll tell them then. But I think we do need to tell them first."

Jane nodded. "Okay, we'll keep it between us until they come over, if they don't we tell them the day before I go back to work, at the latest. Is that okay with you?" Jane asked.

"Yes. That's okay. You sure your okay with hiding this for a while? I just need at least a few days to be able to adjust to being back home and being with you."

Jane smiled. "We aren't hiding. Just taking our time."

Maura nodded, she turned back around so she could stand in the same position they were in a minute before. She felt Jane's arms snake around her again and smiled. Maura rested her head back on Jane's shoulder, her left hand coming up to rest on top of Jane's which were back on her abdomen, she entwined her fingers with Jane's. "I'm going to miss this." Maura smiled.

Jane placed a soft kiss to Maura's neck. "Mmm, so am I." A thought occurred to Jane and she couldn't help but smile. "You know...I've not been cleared for active duty yet...So if you phone work and tell them you're ill, we don't have to leave New York just yet."

Maura turned her head and kissed Jane's cheek. "We can't, Jane. As much as I want nothing else at this second, we can't. You have another appointment with the doctor on Tuesday and you can't cancel, Jane. And I can't phone in sick as I can't lie..."

"Then let me phone for you." Jane whispered.

"And what are you planning on saying?" Maura asked.

"I don't know. I'll tell them you came over to see me once you got back from New York, but you've got the flu and just collapsed on my settee once you came in. Then I'll tell them I'm worried about you so I'm phoning in sick for you to save you from having to do it once you woke up."

"You've forgot one thing...You're in New York with me."

"And?" Jane questioned.

"And you left Bass and Joe with Frankie. Frankie won't have kept it quiet that you came to New York. He would have at least told Korsak and Frost when they asked about you." Maura sighed.

"Korsak and Frost won't say anything. Neither will Frankie."

Maura smiled. "True. But, Jane, you know as well as I do that people gossip. It only takes one to overhear Frankie telling Korsak and Frost that you came to new York. Everyone we work with will already know that you're here." Maura sighed. "By the time I get back to work everyone will be wondering what you came to New York for, in the middle of the night."

Jane tensed up. "Are you bothered what the people we work with think?"

"Oh, Jane. Not at all. Only Korsak and Frost. It's got nothing to do wit anyone else." Maura whispered.

"Then you shouldn't care what they are wondering I came to New York for." Jane sighed. Then added, "and it wasn't the middle of the night when I drove here." Resting her forehead on Maura's shoulder Jane took a deep breath. "So...I take it you don't want me to phone in sick for you?"

"As much as I want too, Jane, I'm afraid the answer is no." Maura felt Jane nod. "Jane..."

Jane lifted her head and placed her chin back on Maura's shoulder. "Mmm?"

Maura leaned to the side so she could see Jane better, bringing her hand up she rested it on the back of Jane's neck. Maura smiled before leaning closer, bringing Jane closer to her with the hand behind her neck. When their lips met, Maura felt Jane tighten her grip a little. Maura deepened the kiss before pulling her lips away. "God, Jane. I love you." Maura rushed out in a whisper.

Jane smiled. "Love you."

Maura rested her forehead against Jane's and closed her eyes.

"I have an idea." Jane said, pulling back a little so she could look at Maura. "You know New York right?"

Maura nodded.

"So you know the best places to go shopping?" Jane couldn't believe she was going to ask her next question.

"Of course I do." Maura smiled.

"Well...I need some new clothes...I definitely need a new outfit to wear tonight. So, what do you say Maura Isles...do you want to take me shopping?" Jane quickly placed a finger on Maura's lips before she could say anything. She laughed at Maura's wide eyed look. "Don't speak. Just nod or shake your head."

Maura nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay." Jane smiled.


	20. Next Time I Won't Be So Gentle

After spending most off the morning and afternoon shopping, Jane was more than bored. She had bought some new clothes and a new outfit for tonight. Finally after pulling Maura out off a shop, Jane dragged her to the nearest coffee shop.

"Jane, you can let go off my hand now." Maura says as they walk into the coffee shop.

Jane looks at her with a confused look. "Why would I do that? Do you not want to hold my hand?"

"It's not that, Jane. I just...I didn't know if you would be comfortable with this. Out in public, I mean." Maura sighs.

"I'm not ashamed about us."

They both ordered their coffees and found a table. Jane broke the silence. "I spent my marriage wanting you, wanting us. But also knowing that we could never do this. Now that we are, there isn't a damn thing that anyone can say or do, to make me ashamed off what we are doing. We're following our hearts. No one can say anything about that." Jane smiled. She entwined her fingers with Maura's. "I love you, okay?"

Maura nodded. "Love you too."

"I need to do a few things before later. Think you can look after yourself for two hours, tops?" Jane asked, playfully.

"I think I can manage." Maura smirked.

Jane stood and kissed Maura's forehead. "I'll phone you when I'm done."

Maura nodded as she watched Jane pick up her coffee cup and walk out. It was only her second coffee of the day, so Maura decided to order another one before she left. She desperately wanted to know where Jane was going but she knew Jane wouldn't have told her even if she did ask.

…

An hour and half later Jane took her phone from her jeans pocket and hit #1 speed dial. Hearing Maura's phone start to ring Jane tried unsuccessfully to scratch her left shoulder blade. She had been told that it would start to scab over in a few days, and if she wanted it to remain even without fading in places, she wasn't aloud to pick at it. _I can't bloody pick at it if I can't reach it. _Jane smiled. She knew why she had done it, but she hoped Maura would see it her way. Understand the reason as to why she had just got a tattoo.

"Doctor Isles." Maura said as she answered her phone.

"Really? You still answer you're phone like that when you know it's me and you're off work."

"I'm technically not off work though. Just because I'm in New York doesn't mean I leave my job back in Boston." Maura said.

Jane smiled. "But I'm guessing that you checked caller ID before you answered you're phone, so you knew it was me."

"That's true." Maura laughed.

"And I wouldn't have been calling you about work."

"Well...you could have stumbled upon a murder." Maura smiled as she realised nearly everyone in the coffee shop was giving her a 'are you serious look'. "I'm still where you left me. Hurry up."

"Just got one more thing I need to buy before I meet you."

"Jane..." Maura sighed.

"Meet me back at the hotel. I paid for a late check out, before we left, so we wouldn't have to carry our stuff with us all day." Jane said. "We'll pack the car when I get there and then we'll be set for later."

"Okay."

"I won't be long. I'll see you in a bit." Jane ended the call before walking into the jewellers.

…

Fifteen minutes later Jane was walking back into the lobby off the hotel. Instead of going straight up to the hotel room she decided she would get a drink first. To calm her nerves. She had no idea how Maura was going to react to seeing the tattoo, or to even know that Jane had got one in the first place.

Walking into the bar, the first thing to catch her eye was Maura. Maura standing at the bar, one foot resting on the foot rest, that wrapped all the way around the bar, leaning on the bar with her elbow and slowly sipping her drink. Smiling to herself, Jane was just about to walk towards her when the figure of someone else caught her eye. He was getting dangerously close to her girlfriend. Her eyes flicked back to Maura and saw how Maura was inching back. That was all Jane needed to see. She quickly made her way towards Maura.

Jane kissed Maura's cheek. "Hey babe. I'm back." Jane whispered in her ear. She watched as Maura relaxed. Jane turned her attention to the guy watching them. "Can we help you?"

"I was just asking you're friend if I could buy her a drink."

"Well...I guess you're kinda off the hook now. Cause the next round is on me." Jane smiled. "Right babe?" Jane asked looking at Maura.

Maura nodded. "You haven't let me buy a drink since you arrived here. I don't see you stopping any time soon."

"So...let me and my friend buy you both a drink." The guy said, pointing to towards his friend and they table they we sitting at.

Both Jane and Maura turned to look. When Jane felt Maura tense up, she quickly turned to see what had spooked the woman next to her. When she saw the guy had his hand on Maura, she immediately went for her gun. The gun she didn't actually have on her. It was locked in the safe of the security department of the hotel. She handed it over her first night here. Maura's orders. Since she wasn't actually back on active duty just yet and she couldn't come up with a good enough argument to keep it with her, she handed it over. _Now I have one._ _I have a good enough reason to keep it on me. _She saw Maura try and pull her arm away and she saw the guy's grip tighten around Maura's arm. Jane felt Maura's fingers grip into her hip as she tried unsuccessfully to stop Jane from doing anything. But it was to late, before Jane could even think about it her fist connected to his nose.

Maura watched it all happen in slow motion. She saw Jane swing for the guy in front off them. She heard the sickening sound off Jane's hand crunching the guys nose. She knew Jane had broken his nose. She watched as the guy stumbled backwards before his legs gave way and he fell, blood pouring from his nose. She watched as Jane's gaze fell to the hand that had just connected with the guys nose, she saw Jane clench and unclench her hand. Her heart broke when Jane looked at her. Maura could see the unshead tears in Jane's eyes and could see Jane's bottom lip trembling. "Jane..." She whispered.

"Maura..." Jane barely whispered. She was just about to take a step towards Maura when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She was just about to apologize when he leant over and whispered something in her ear.

Maura watched a few feet away as the guy whispered something in Jane's ear. She saw Jane's expression change in the blink off an eye. Pure anger. She had never seen this expression before on Jane. And she had to admit it scared her.

Jane stood frozen in place. She was thrown back into a memory.

_The first time Robert had hit her. She was in the kitchen. Nothing had been off that day. It was actually the first time in a while that they had the day off together. Robert had gone that night, had one too many drinks. It was soon to become the same old story. She'd just put Jason to bed and was in the middle of getting a bottle of beer, before watching an baseball game. Robert had sneaked up behind her, successfully making Jane jump. _

"_You fucking idiot." Jane said as she dropped the bottle off beer on the floor and watched it smash. She was talking more to herself than to Robert. As he turned around, she noticed a look on Robert's face that she had never seen before. A few seconds later, she felt his hand connect with her cheek. Her head hitting the fridge from the force off Robert's smack. _

_She took a deep breath as she looked back at him a few minute later. A cut bleeding from her eyebrow where she had hit the fridge. _

_Robert closed the distance between them and whispered. "Next time I won't be so gentle." _

Jane spun around and connected her foot to the back off the guys knee. She watched as he efficiently went to the ground. When he tried to stand up she placed her foot on his back and pushed him back down. "Stay down." Jane growled.

The guy did as he was told, but he turned so he could lay on his back. Looking up at Jane he gave a smug smile.

Jane placed her foot on the guys throat and added a little pressure. She heard someone shout they were calling for the police. Digging into her pocket, she pulled her badge out. "I am the fucking police." She shouted in the direction off the bar, showing them her badge. She saw the guys eyes widen.

"Jane...please." Maura whispered, placing her hand on Jane's shoulder. Maura saw the far away look on Jane's face a minutes ago and she knew Jane was thinking about Robert. She had to somehow get Jane back to her. Back to the moment they were currently in. She waited until Jane looked at her. "Jane...this isn't Robert. Let him go." Maura noticed Jane had put more pressure on the guy throat. "Please..." Maura pleaded.

"He...he hu...he hurt you." Jane stammered.

Maura knew Jane was right. He had hurt her. She was pretty sure she would have a bruise sometime in the next few hours. "Please...baby, let him go." Maura watched as Jane looked from her to the guy and back again while taking a few deep breaths.

Jane nodded. Slowly she lifted her foot off the guys neck and pulled him up with a hand full off his shirt. Pushing him into the nearest table, Jane started. "The next time you touch another women, just remember me." Jane growled. "Because as from now, you have every cop in America watching every single move you and you're buddies make. Touch one more women for any reason and I will make it my personal goal to get you for it."

The guy nodded slowly.

Jane reached into his suit jacket and pulled his wallet from his pocket. Opening it up she quickly found his Driving Licence. "Jake Anderson. I'll remember that name. Watch you're back, Jake. Put one foot out off line and I'll have you for it." Jane shoved Jake to the side. "Get out off here."

Jake took a step in Maura's direction to apologize. He didn't get anywhere near her before he felt an hand tighten arm his arm before pulling him back.

"I said, get the fuck out off here...Now." Jane said rather calmly.

Jake nodded. "I'm sorry." He mumbled.

Jane watched as Jake left the hotel bar, once she was positive he was gone she turned back to look at the table she had him pinned against. Resting her hands on the edge, she closed her eyes and let her head fall. She was fighting the tears. She jumped when she felt a hand on her upper arm, but she quickly relaxed when she knew it was Maura. Slowly opening her eyes and turning her head she looked at Maura. "I..." Jane dropped her head again. She couldn't think off anything to say. Jane stayed like that for a few minutes, trying to think off something say. When she finally pushed away from the table, she couldn't look at Maura. Instead she dug in Frankie's jacket pocket. Pulling out a gift box she handed it Maura, before walking away.

Maura looked at the box Jane had just placed in her hand. _Tiffany & Co. _Looking back up she saw Jane just leaving the bar. Paying the bartender and apologizing she picked up their shopping bags before she went in search for Jane.

…

Slamming the hotel room door behind her, Jane shrugged off Frankie's jacket, before throwing it on the sofa. Walking into the bedroom, she wanted nothing more than to forget the last hour, she crawled onto the bed. This time when she felt the tears coming, she didn't hold them in. She didn't fight them. For the first time in her life Jane was starting to realize she couldn't fight everything any more.

Maura placed the bags down next to the door. She took off her shoes and made her way to the bedroom. She saw Jane curled up on her side, her back facing the door. She knew Jane was crying. Slowly she climb on the bed and moved closer to Jane. Placing a hand on Jane's side, Maura leaned closer and placed a kiss on Jane's shoulder. Above the tattoo.

Jane jumped off the bed when she felt Maura's lips just above her tattoo. Backing herself against the wall. Jane still couldn't look at Maura, so she kept her gaze on the floor.

"I've already seen it, Jane."

Jane glanced at Maura and gave her a questioning look.

"You're tattoo." Maura said. "I've already seen it." Maura smiled as she climbed off the bed and walked over to Jane. "It means something to you. It's you're sons name."

Jane walked away again when Maura touched her.

"Jane...what happened down..."

"I can't do this to you any more. I can't be near you any more. It's not safe. I'm not safe for you to be around." Jane said, walking into the room.

"Why not?" Maura asked. "We are not ending this. Not after everything it took for us to be were we are now."

"You don't get it, do you?" Jane shouted. "I nearly killed that guy."

"But you didn't." Maura answered.

"Do you the first thing I did when I saw his hand on you?"

Maura shook her head.

"I went straight for my gun. At that point yes, I probably would have just threatened him with it. But then I felt you're fingers dig into my hip and I knew I couldn't let him get away with hurting you like that. Like what I went through. So I hit him." Jane sighed. She finally meet Maura's gaze. "I felt so guilty after I did it. I couldn't believe I had just done that in front off you. I was going to say sorry. But then he said that. He..." Jane choked on a sob.

"What did he say?" Maura reached out and held Jane's hand. She wouldn't let Jane pull away from her.

"Next time I won't be so gentle." Jane whispered.

Maura pulled Jane to the sofa and sat down, pulling Jane down next to her. Maura knew Jane would continue when she was ready so she stayed quiet, rubbing her thumb up and down Jane's hand in comfort.

Jane took a deep breath. "Robert said the exact same words to me the first night he hit me. I was pulled back into that memory. When I came out I couldn't control myself. I wanted to hurt him the say way he hurt me. All the anger I felt when I was with Robert came rushing back to the top."

Maura stayed quiet.

"You still don't get it, do you?" Jane asked. "You can't be around me. I didn't know how much anger I had in me until he said them words. If I did have my gun on me at that time..." Jane turned to look Maura in the eye. "...I would have emptied the whole magazine into his head. He'd be dead, Maura. I would have killed him." Jane felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. "I can't do that to you, Maura. I can't put you through that."

"Well..." Maura began. "I'm sorry, but you don't get to choose that any more, Jane."

"Please...don't make this any harder than it has to be." Jane whispered.

"Tough." Maura shouted. "You aren't doing this, Jane. You can't tell me you love me, then decide you can't do this because you think it will be too hard for me. Do you honestly believe it hasn't already been hard for me? Jane..." Maura lowered her voice. "I had Barry running into the Morgue telling me about you. I had to check if Jason still had a pulse. I had to find you, laying in you're own kitchen, covered in blood. I was the one who told you're parents what had happened. I sat by your bedside, not knowing if I was going to lose my best friend." Maura sobbed. "I had to tell you about Jason, because I knew if anyone else told you, you would have bottled everything up. I was with you the first time you went back into that house. I was with you through Jason's funeral. I held you every night, through every nightmare. Do you really think all off them things weren't hard enough for me? Do you honestly think that after all that, plus everything else, that I would let you just push me away?"

"I don't know what else to do." Jane admitted. "I don't want to loose you, Maura. But I don't know if I will be able to control my anger. I don't want to end up breaking you're nose if you happen to say the wrong thing."

"Stop right there." Maura stated firmly. "We both know you would never hit me. No matter what I happened to say. You would never hit me."

"Maura..."

"Would you?" Maura asked. "If it was me who had said that to you earlier. Would you have hit me?"

Jane shook her head. "No. I would have fell into you're arms and cried." Jane knew she would never lay a hand on Maura, and Maura knew it as well. There was no point in lying.

"Exactly." Maura whispered. "Jane...everything we have already been through...it has all been extremely hard for me, but I won't stop being with you. I can't, Jane. I nearly lost you once. I will never let you go."

Jane sobbed again as she placed her head on Maura's shoulder.

"I promise, Jane. I won't ever let you go." Maura placed a kiss to the top of Jane's head.

Jane lifted her legs on to the sofa and cuddled into Maura's side. She laid with her back against the bad off the sofa when Maura lifted her legs. Jane wrapped an arm around Maura's waist and placed her right leg over Maura's, so she wouldn't fall off the sofa.

Maura eventually broke the silence that had settled up on them. "Do you still want to stick with you're plans for tonight? Or would you rather us just drive home?"

Jane slowly traced her hand up Maura's side. "I want to show you this place. So were still sticking with my plans. If you want to?"

Maura smiled. "I want to."

Jane groaned. "We should start to get ready." Jane leaned up, so Maura could get up. She noticed the gift box what she had gave Maura down in the bar. "Did you open it?" Jane pointed to the box on the table next to the door.

Maura shook her head. "No. You didn't want me too. If you did you wouldn't have given it to me then."

"Open it later." Jane whispered. She was glad Maura hadn't opened it. It meant she could give it to Maura the way she had originally planned. Not as a last present. Not as a goodbye.

Maura nodded. "Okay."

Jane smiled, before leaning in to take Maura's lips is a passionate kiss. "For the record. I'll never let you go either." Jane whispered as she pulled away.


	21. Chapter 21

A few hour later Jane and Maura were sat on a bench in Central Park. It was seven o'clock at night so it was fairly quiet. "You know, my parents brought us here when we were younger. We all had to a place we would like to go to for a day. I remember my friend, Katie, she had just come back from visiting her father in New York and she was telling me all these amazing stories. All about Central Park. When my Pop asked us where we wanted to go I paid both Frankie and Tommy to say here. I was 15 year old, but they took me for $150 that I managed to save." Jane turned to look at Maura, who had pulled her feet up on the bench and wrapped her arms around her knees. "I mean my friend told me everything her and her dad did in the space off a weekend. She made it sound so magical. So...I dunno...perfect." Jane smiled and watched as a couple of people ran past them with dogs. "My Pop agreed, but my Ma wasn't so sure it was such a good idea. But anyway...we came. My Pop drove. As you can imagine being in a car with us at that age would be quite annoying. It was for the first half an hour before I got bored. I just leant my head against the window and watched as the whole world pasted me by. I was so excited to be going to Central Park. Frankie and Tommy were just happy to be able to get out off Boston for a day. I honestly believe, looking back now, that even if my friend spent the whole weekend cooped up with her dad in his apartment, she would have told me it was the best weekend she had ever spent with him. She hadn't seen him in two and half year." Jane stopped as she noticed Maura shiver. Taking off Frankie's jacket she wrapped it around Maura's shoulders.

Maura gave Jane a small smile. "Thank you. But aren't you cold now?"

"Na, I'm good." Jane whispered, wrapping her arm around Maura's shoulder.

"Carry on." Maura said resting her head on Jane's shoulder.

"He worked for the Navy. He was away for two an half year. He'd come back briefly but it would only be for a few days at a time. He called her up one day and said that he'd be home over school break and if she wanted to spend some time with him in New York. She could only a weekend, her mother were taking her and her young brother away. She spend a wonderful weekend with him, here in this park. Turns out when she got back to Boston her mother had to work, so they didn't go away. She wanted to come back her to be with father until he had to return to work, but her mother wouldn't allow it. Her father came and left her life with little explanation." Jane stopped and pulled Maura closer to her. "She didn't know that two and a half weeks later he'd get killed in a car crash. I was in New York when it happened. Off all the days in the year I had to be out off Boston when she needed me the most. When I got back from New York and found out about what had happened, I ran straight to her house. Her mother let me in and told me Katie was upstairs. When I walked into Katie's bedroom she looked at me like I was the last person on earth that she wanted to see. I tried to get near her but she moved further back and started screaming at me to leave."

Maura stayed quiet as she felt Jane's arm around her tighten. Jane very rarely talked about her childhood friends. In fact the only time Jane ever talked about her childhood was when she was telling a story. Even then they all had her family in, never any off her friends.

"Anyway..." Jane started. "I left her alone. Like she wanted. I figured that when she needed me she'd come and find me. We didn't talk for nearly a month and by that point I knew she'd never come to me for anything ever again. I watched helplessly when she fell into the wrong crowd, when she started with alcohol, then extended it to drugs. Within two months she was completely hooked. I didn't even recognise her any more. But I still help out hope that she'd come to her senses and come back to me. A few days later I found out that she had died. She overdosed."

Maura ran her hand under Jane's t-shirt and rested it on Jane's stomach her fingers running up and down Jane's side. There was nothing sexual in the movements, it was pure comfort. Maura wasn't very good with words at moments like this. And right know she'd give anything to be able to comfort Jane with words.

"I know now." Jane whispered.

Maura lifted her head off Jane's shoulder. "Know what?"

Jane gave a tiny smile. "She wasn't pushing me away. She was trying to pull me towards her, but it was too painful for her, for me to see her like that."

"Jane, you don't know that."

"I do." Jane sat up and turned on the bench so she could she Maura properly. Jane brought her hand up to cup Maura's cheek, "I do, because I'm doing the exact same thing with you." Jane whispered. "The last thing I want is for you to see me like this. But the more I try and push you away the more I pull you towards me."

"Then stop trying to protect me from things you think I'm too weak to hear or to handle."

"I don't think you're weak, Maura, you're the opposite. I'm the weak one, and that for me is a big deal. I usually run from my feelings but you aren't letting me. I'm just not used to having to face them head on." Jane said.

Maura nodded. "Okay. But you know I'm here for you."

For a while neither one off them spoke. They just sat on the bench watching life go by. Maura had removed her hand from Jane's stomach to take hold of Jane's hand. Maura was the first to break the silence. "Do you blame yourself?"

"For what?" Jane asked a little defensively.

"For what happened to Katie? Do you blame yourself?"

Jane knew there was no point in lying about this to Maura. So, weakly, she nodded. "Yea." She muttered.

"Why?"

"Because if I had figured it all out sooner maybe I could have talked some sense into her. She was my best friend, I should have known. I should have done what you've done with me. I should have pushed her to talk to me." Jane swallowed the lump in her throat before she looked at Maura.

Maura could she the tears glistening Jane's eyes and she automatically tightened her grip on Jane's hand. "You did what she asked you to. You gave her space. She would have come to her senses sooner or later. You can't beat yourself up over something that wasn't your fault." Maura gave a weak smile. "I pushed you because I made a promise to you on your wedding night. Remember?"

"I asked you to dance." Jane smiled. Thoughts from that night came flooding back to her.

_Maura was stood talking to Frankie when Jane came up behind them. She jumped slightly when she felt someone place their hand on her lower back, only to relax when she turned slightly and saw that the hand belonged to Jane._

"_Hi." Maura smiled._

_Jane smiled. "Do you wonna dance?" Jane asked shyly._

_Maura's smile grew. "I'd love too. But what about Robert? Do you want to dance with him?"_

"_I already have. And now I'm asking my best friend if she'll dance with me." Jane smiled. She was a little past being tipsy, but she hadn't had enough to be classified as being drunk. _

_Maura nodded before Jane took her hand and pulled her away from Frankie._

_After they had danced through a few songs Jane pulled Maura to the bar. "Promise me something..." Jane said leaning closer to Maura so she could be heard over the music that was playing. _

_Maura nodded. "What?"_

"_Promise me that if me and Robert don't work out, for whatever reason, that you'll make sure I talk to you. About anything. Just don't believe me when I tell you I'm okay. Unless you actually know I am." Jane sighed. She didn't want to be saying all to Maura, her maid of honour. She knew deep down that this marriage with Jason wouldn't work. Not when she knew it should have been Maura who she'd married today. _

"_You know I don't have to promise you that. I'd do it anyway. But I will promise you that I will never let you go through anything without me. I'll always be here for you." Maura said before placing a soft kiss to Jane's cheek. "I love you." Maura whispered._

"_I love you too." Jane whispered. _

"I promised you that I'd never let you go through anything without me." Maura said. "That's why I pushed you, Jane. That's why I will always push you to talk to me."

…

A few hour later after they had their dinner Jane and Maura were walking back through Central Park to their hotel to get Maura's car, when Jane stopped and pulled out the Tiffany & Co box what she gave Maura earlier. "Open it." She smiled as she handed Maura the box.

Maura guided them both to the nearest bench before sitting down and opening it. She couldn't help but gasp when she opened it. She looked back up at Jane.

Jane smiled. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready to get married again. I want to be 'cause if you'll have me, I want you to be my wife. But right now all I can offer is forever." Jane sighed. This sounded so much better in her head than what it did saying it out loud. "I can't promise forever as your wife, but I do want forever. I want forever very much."

Maura smiled. She looked at back down to the beautiful platinum heart pendant with diamonds. It looked stunning. And for the first time ever Maura's breath was taken. She had seen a lot off beautiful jewellery, she owned a lot of beautiful jewellery, but she had to admit this was the most stunning piece she had ever seen. She didn't know what to say. She looked up at Jane again, and she knew she had tears in her eyes. Suddenly the right thing to say came to mind. "I want forever too."

Jane smiled as she took the pendant out off the box and fastened it around Maura's neck.

"Jane...it's beautiful. Thank you." Maura said as a few tears fell on her cheek. "But you didn't..."

"Don't..." Jane said stopping Maura from finishing her sentence. "I wanted too. It looks stunning on you. Do you really like it? If not you can change it for something else."

Maura shook her head, no. "I love it." She whispered, before leaning forward and capturing Jane's lips in a kiss. "I love you." She whispered when she pulled back.

"I love you too." Jane beamed. "We should get going we've got a long drive back home." Jane said, regrettably. She didn't want to leave.

Maura nodded. "I'll thank you properly later tonight?" Maura questioned.

Jane just smiled. She heard the question, she just didn't know if was ready for that just yet. _Tonight will soon tell. _She smiled as she took Maura's hand and continued their walk towards Maura's car.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi guys! I know it's been quite a while since I updated this story. To be honest with you I kinda lost all interest in it. I'm not sure where I'm taking this, so I'm open to all the ideas you may have. They may give me the motivation I need to continue this story.<strong>

**I'm sorry for the delay. **

**Kay x**


	22. Chapter 22

The walk back to Maura's car was made in silence. Once they were back at the hotel Jane picked up the car keys and luggage from reception. They knew they had at least a five hour drive back home and it was already 8:30pm so they wouldn't be getting back home until at least 1:30am.

Jane packed up the car while Maura went to the hotel bar for two coffees. By the time Maura was walking out off the hotel Jane was just closing the trunk of Maura's car.

Leaning against the back of the car, Jane watched Maura walk towards her. She had taken Frankie's coat off while she was packing the car, it was a surprisingly warm night in New York. "Thank you." Jane says as she takes the cup Maura offers her.

Maura smiles sweetly. "Are you sure you want to drive back now?"

Jane nods. "Yep. Car is all packed up and I thought you would want to get home to see Bass."

"I do." Maura says as she starts to walk to the passengers side. "But we aren't going to knock on Frankie's door when we get back. We'll pick them up in the morning."

"We don't have to knock, I'll just phone Frankie now and tell him to drop them off. That we will be home in a few hours." Jane says, climbing into the drivers seat.

Maura takes a sip of her coffee before she puts her seatbelt on. "We'll pick them up in the morning. Tonight I just want us to be able to go home and crawl into bed with you."

"Sounds like a plan." Jane smiles as she leans over and places a quick to Maura's lips. "You ready?"

Maura sighed but nodded anyway. She didn't want to go home. She didn't want to loose everything she and Jane had accomplished since being here. She knew it wasn't much but she also knew it was more than they would have accomplished at home. She was dreading seeing Angela, not so much as having to see her but at knowing that Angela had hurt Jane in the worst possible way. She didn't know how to be around Jane in her home now. Could she still walk up to her and kiss her? Tell Jane she was in love with her? Would they both be sleeping in Maura's bed? Or would Jane use the guest bedroom? So many questions she wanted answers for. But worst of all she had no idea how Jane was going to react to being back in Boston. To being twenty minutes away from the house that she died in.

Jane heard the small sigh escape Maura's lips. She started up the engine before she placed a hand on Maura's thigh. "We'll be okay, Maur. Let's go home." Jane squeezed Maura's thigh before putting the car into gear and pulling out off the hotel parking.

"I love you." Maura whispers.

Jane turns to face her, a smile spreading on her face. "I love you too."

…

A few hours later Jane pulled into the 24hour services. They needed gas and she needed a coffee. Maura had been yawning her head off for the past hour and she was starting to make Jane feel tired. Stretching their legs and getting some fresh air would do them both good.

"Are you coming in or do you just want me to bring you a coffee?" Jane asked.

"I'll come in. I need to use the ladies room anyway." Maura said unbuckling her seat belt.

Jane handed Maura the keys. "Keep hold off these. I'll meet you back here, just going to get the drinks. Do you want anything to eat?"

Maura takes the keys and puts them in her handbag. "No, thank you."

…

By the time Jane comes out from the café, Maura is already sat in the passengers seat of the car. Jane notices that Maura has her head resting on the head rest and her eyes are closed. She smiles at the sight before opening the car door and gently sliding in. She rests both cups against her arm and quietly closes the door behind her.

"Did you get me a coffee?" Maura says gently.

Jane jumps slightly at the sound off Maura's voice. "You scared the crap out off me. I thought you were asleep."

Maura smiles softly. "Just resting my eyes. I can hardly fall asleep and let you drive the rest of the way on your own. Did you get me a coffee?"

Jane hands her a cup, but shakes her head. "It isn't a coffee. It's hot chocolate."

Maura takes the cup. "You do know if I drink this that I won't be able to stay awake."

Jane nods. "I'm not asking you to stay awake, babe. You've been yawning for the last hour, I know you're tired."

"I can't sleep, Jane. We have a few hour before we get home. What would you do for entertainment?"

Jane smiles. "Drive. Listen to music. Exactly the same thing I did on the drive down here."

"But..." Maura starts.

Jane cuts her off. "Just drink the hot chocolate, Maura. If you fall asleep, great. If not then that's great too. But don't try and stay awake for my benefit. I'll manage the last few hours on my own."

"Okay." Maura agrees, taking a sip off her hot chocolate.

…

Jane spends the rest off the drive back to Maura's just listening to Maura's soft breathing. She turned the music off as soon as realised Maura had fallen asleep. Pulling up in Maura's driveway, Jane cuts the engine and turns to look at her best friend. _Girlfriend._

"Maura...honey, you need to wake up." Jane soothed, placing her hand on Maura's thigh.

"Comfy." Maura says sleepily, eyes still closed.

Jane smiles. "Bet you would be even comfier in your own bed and in my arms."

Maura keeps her eyes closed as a small smile appears on her face. "Mmm. Are we really at home already or have you just got bored and want some company? Because if you have I'm still asleep and you have just imagined these last few minutes."

Jane chuckles as she lifts her hand to brush a fallen piece of blonde hair back behind Maura's ear. She can't help but smile as Maura leans into her touch. Jane leans closer and places a soft kiss on Maura's lips. "We're really home, sweetheart." Jane says as she pulls away.

Maura opens her eyes and smiles at Jane before she pulls her back into a passionate kiss. When they both finally pull away they are both breathing heavily. "Can we go to bed?" Maura soon realises how that must have sounded to Jane, and she promised Jane she wouldn't push her. "I just...I mean...I want us in bed so I can curl up in your arm and go to sleep."

Jane nods. "I know what you meant, Maura. Come on."

As soon as the start walking up the pathway to the front door Jane slips her arms around Maura's lower back. Maura smiles sweetly as she rests her head on Jane's shoulder and snuggles closer.

"Are you going to make it upstairs?" Jane asks, as soon as the front door is open and Maura stumbles inside.

Maura turns to face Jane. "Of course I will. I'm tired not drunk."

Jane nods. "You're cute when you're tired." Jane says as she walks past Maura and heads straight to Maura's bedroom. Not at all questioning what she doing.

Maura watches Jane walk towards her bedroom and disappear. A few seconds later she decides to follow, not exactly sure off what she will find, but hoping she will find Jane in her bed. She pushed open her bedroom door to reveal an empty bedroom. She was just about to turn around when Jane opened the en-suite bathroom door.

Jane smiled at Maura as she walked to Maura's bed and sat on the end. "Are you just going to stand there or are you actually going to get ready for bed?"

"Erm..." Maura stumbled. She walked over to closet and pulled out a fresh pair of pyjama's before she changed quickly.

Jane laid down when Maura walked into her closet, she turned her head in the direction of the closet intending to ask Maura a question when she saw the reflection of Maura undressing in the mirror. The mirror that was aligned perfectly for Jane to see Maura and vice versa if Maura looked up. And a few seconds later that is exactly what happened. Their gaze held for a few seconds before Jane looked away. Eventually she felt the bed dip and knew Maura had laid down beside her.

"Jane..." Maura whispers. "What's going to happen with us tomorrow?"

"I don't know, Maura." Jane answers honestly. She loves Maura, she always has but she knows the two off them in a relationship will take a lot of getting used too. Especially for everyone else.

"Are you going to see your family?"

"We'll be seeing Frankie in the morning when we pick Bass and Jo up." Jane answers.

"Let me rephrase that, are you going to see your mother sometime tomorrow?" Maura questions.

"I don't know, Maura. Right now it's quarter past two in the morning and I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep with my beautiful girlfriend next to me." Jane smiles as she looks at Maura.

"Your girlfriend?" Maura smirks. She is glad that Jane is the first one to put a name on what they are. And she is glad that Jane has chosen the word 'girlfriend' compared to the other names she knew Jane was capable of coming up with.

Jane nods. "Look, I will be the first to admit that things aren't going to be easy for us, this isn't going to be like we were in New York. Things will be tough, there will be a lot of questions, a lot of people will be against this...against us. But I honestly believe the people that matter the most to us will be happy for us. If not, like I said in New York...it's their problem not ours." Jane turns on her side to face Maura and wraps her arm around Maura's waist as she moves closer. "I'll fight for us, Maura. But I need to know that if things get rough, that you'll fight with me not against me. I won't have enough strength to fight them and you at the same time."

Maura nods and snuggles into Jane's side.

Jane pushes up to rest on her elbow so she can look down at Maura. "I need you to promise me. Promise me, Maura, that you'll fight just as hard as I will for us."

Maura struck by all the emotion in Jane's voice. It quickly dawns on her that she has the exact same fear as Jane. _Will we make it through all this and be even stronger at the end of it all? _Maura lifts her hand to Jane's cheek. "I promise, baby." Maura whispers.

Jane nods her head afraid that if she says anything she'll not be able to control the tears.

A second later Maura wraps her arms around Jane's neck and pulls her down so she is laying half on Maura and half on the bed. She lifts a hand to stroke through Jane's hair and again whispers, "I promise, Jane." Maura smiles at the thought of her and Jane starting their life together. The life she has always been to scared to want. Her life with Jane Rizzoli.

Surprisingly sleep overtakes them quicker than either one could have imagined.


	23. Chapter 23

Maura was the first to wake up. She climbed out off bed careful not to disturb Jane, who for once seem to be sleeping soundly. After showering and pulling on her sweat pants and one off Jane's tank tops she decided to start breakfast. She was just about to start breakfast when her phone started ringing. She pulled it from her pocket and looked at the number. It was one that she didn't know. "Dr Isles." She answered.

"Morning, Doc. It's Frankie."

"Oh, good morning Frankie. I didn't recognise your number."

Frankie chuckled. "Yea, kinda had to buy a new phone. Long story. Are you and Jane back safely?"

Maura smiled wondering now what Frankie had done to end up buying a new phone. "Yes. We got back early hours this morning. Do you want me to come and pick Bass and Jo up now? Jane's still asleep and I don't want to wake her."

"No, you're okay doc. I'll drop them off now and hopefully I'll be able to stay until Jane wakes up?" Frankie asked hopefully.

"You're more than welcome to stay. Have you only just got off from work?"

"Yep. How did you know?"

Maura smiled. "The voices in the background gave you up. Would you like some breakfast?"

"Doc, you don't have to..." Frankie started.

"It's the least I can do. I'll see you in a while." Maura smiled as she ended the call. She turned to her fridge to see what she had in. once she found she did indeed have things in for breakfast she decided to get the water for Bass and Jo ready as well as putting a little food down for Jo, and preparing a little fresh fruit and veg for Bass's breakfast. After all that she glanced at the clock and realised nearly an hour gone past since she put the phone down to Frankie. Jane still wasn't awake, so she put the coffee maker on in the hope of it not waking Jane. Finally she sat down at her kitchen table drinking her first coffee of the day.

Less than fifteen minutes later Maura hears a faint knock at her front door. Finishing the last of her coffee she pushes herself away from the table and heads for the door. She opens the door to find Frankie stood and struggling to keep Bass in his arms with his weight, Jo rushes past her before she even sees the little dog. She's suddenly grateful that she remember to close the bedroom door behind her. At least Jo won't wake Jane up. "Please, come in." Maura smiles.

Frankie walks in and puts Bass straight down. "He weighs a hell of a lot, Doc." Frankie smiles.

"He doesn't weigh as much as you think." Maura laughs. "How was work?"

Frankie shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Nothing special."

Maura walked back into the kitchen, Frankie following. "What would you like to eat? Pancakes? Waffles? Even got cereal if you want?"

"Waffles. I mean if that's okay?" Frankie smiles.

Maura nods. "Of course it is. Drink?"

Frankie nods. "How about coffee?" When Maura nods, Frankie walks over to the coffee maker, "It's the least I can do. You're making me breakfast. Would you like another?"

Maura smiled sweetly. "Yes, please." She turns and puts Bass's breakfast down for him. "I've missed you little one." She whispers to her tortoise. "Have they both behaved?" Maura says turning back to Frankie.

Frankie nods. "No problem at all." He pours and hands Maura her cup off coffee. "I take it Jane still ain't up?"

"No. Not yet." Maura smiles. "She drove all the way back last night, wouldn't even let me drive for a while. I don't want to wake her up. She hasn't had much sleep."

"Is she doing okay?" Frankie asks, his voice full of concern.

Maura sighs. "She is...She's still getting there." Maura knew she couldn't say much more. The last thing she wanted was for Jane to think she has betrayed her by telling people to much. She knew Jane didn't want anyone to know about the nightmares.

…

Jane panicked when she woke up to an empty bed. She bolted upright after another nightmare but Maura wasn't in the bed with her. She reached for her gun when she heard scratching at the bedroom door. Climbing out of bed she walked slowly to the door. She held her gun tightly in her hand and it wasn't until she heard the scratching again along with a little whine did she open the door and bend down just in time to catch Jo in her arms. "Hi buddy. I've missed you. Did Maura already come and collect you?" Jane couldn't stop chuckling when Jo started whining again. "Come on, let's go and see Bass."

Jane placed Jo back on the floor and headed towards the kitchen. As soon as Maura came into her view she stopped for a few seconds before she walked into the kitchen. She walked up behind Maura and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Mmm. Good morning, baby. This smells delicious." Jane whispered as she placed a soft kiss to Maura's neck. She spun Maura around in her arms and soon caught her in her lips in a chaste kiss. "I missed you this morning." She whispered when she pulled back.

"Jane..." Maura said, nervously.

Jane interrupted. "You could have woke me up before you picked Jo and Bass up, I would have come with you."

Maura smiled softly. "Actually...I didn't pick them up."

Jane was confused. "If you didn't pick them up, how did they get here?"

Frankie cleared his voice. "I've just dropped them off."

Maura felt Jane tense up as soon as she registered Frankie's voice. She saw the mixture of shock and scared looks. She should have warned Jane Frankie was here, but then again she didn't even know Jane was up until she felt Jane's arms being wrapped around her waist.

Jane turned around, keeping her arms around Maura's waist so she could look at her brother. "Frankie...this,"

Frankie cut her off. "Don't you dare tell me this isn't what it looks like? I'm your brother, Janie? How could you lie to me about this? Is this why Robert..."

"Shut up." Maura said looking at Frankie. She pulled out of Jane's arms and stepped forward. "Don't you dare say that man's name in my house."

Frankie looked at Maura and then back at Jane. He continued where he left off. "Because you were having an affair?" He looked back at Maura. "And you let this happen? She was married."

"Frankie..." Jane said. She waited until Frankie looked at her. "That bastard didn't do what he did because I was having an affair with Maura. He did what he did because I was leaving him. I was going out of town. As in leaving for good, with Jason. Maura knew nothing. And we weren't having an affair. Yes he thought we were, but he also thought I was fucking every single guy I saw."

"But..." Frankie started, but stopped when he looked at Maura. "You need to back off."

"Okay." Maura smiled. She heard Jane take a sharp breath before continuing. "I will back off. But I will only do so if Jane asks me to herself. I will not back off just because you want me to."

Jane pulled Maura back against her. "You aren't going anywhere." Jane said to Maura, wrapping her arms back around her waist. "Frankie...I've only got two things to say to you. First is that I love Maura and I'm so grateful she returns my feelings. I've always loved her, Frankie. Second...Don't make me choose, baby brother. You know me. I'm still the same sister who beat up every kid who hurt you, who used to look after you, who loves you."

"I won't make you choose, Jane. You know I wouldn't do that." Frankie said. "But this...you two, it'll take a bit of getting used too."

Jane nods weekly.

"Did you tell Ma? Is that why you went to New York?"

Jane shook her head. "No, I told Ma about a week an half before. She was okay with it. I left because she tried to set me with one of your school mates. She knew how I felt about Maura and she was okay with it but then she went and did that. I'm sorry, Frankie." Jane sighed and rested her head on Maura's shoulder. The little strength she had left her.

Frankie stood up and walked around to where Jane and Maura were standing. Maura pulled out of Jane's arms again for the second time in less than ten minutes. She was quite surprised when Frankie pulled Jane into a hug. "She needs time. We all do, Jane. I don't think anyone will expect this. But...hey, listen to me. We will get used to this. Some quicker than others. But I love you both. Can that be enough for now?" Frankie asked smiling.

"Wait a second..." Jane started.

Frankie chuckled. "I know it might seem cruel but I had to do that. I needed to make sure Maura was who you wanted. I don't want either of you to get hurt and loose everything you have." Frankie turned to a shocked Maura. "I'm sorry, Maura."

Maura nodded.

"I've got to go. I'm on duty soon and I want to get some sleep. Enjoy your day. And Jane..." Frankie stopped as he neared the door. "Ma will come around. I promise."

Jane nodded. "Drive carefully. How about you come around and watch the game with me later?"

Frankie smiled. "I'll be here for eight."

Once the door closed signalling Frankie had left Maura turned to face Jane. "Did you expect that?"

Jane shook her head. "No. I mean I always thought Frankie would be okay. That we wouldn't have to worry about him. But then all that stuff he said...once he said why he said it, it kinda makes sense. He just doesn't want us to get hurt."

Maura nodded and took a step towards Jane. "Are you okay with Frankie knowing so soon?"

Jane smiled. "Yep. I mean we need to start telling people why not know. I know we said we would wait a while but I want to be able to kiss you without having to worry about people being in your house."

"And without you having to look around every room you walk into." Maura laughed.

Jane's smile grew. "That too."

"Okay. Then we'll start to tell people."

Jane took the last step towards Maura and pulled her flush against herself. "Come back to bed with me?"

"What about breakfast?"

Jane leaned in and gave Maura a soft kiss. "Breakfast can wait."


	24. Chapter 24

Jane was laid on her side wearing one of Maura's dressing gowns. They hadn't been awake long, exhaustion taking over again as soon as they got into bed. Maura was also laying on her side with her right arm under Jane's neck and her left hand tracing around the tattoo Jane had of Jason's name. Both were awake but both didn't feel like the silence had to be filled. It was enough for both to just lay here with each other.

After a few more minutes of silence, Maura decided to break the silence. "Did it hurt?" She asked, softly.

Jane jumped slightly when she heard Maura's voice. She was so into her thoughts that she never expected Maura to break the silence. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She asked, still twirling the ring that Maura was wearing on her index finger.

Maura smiled and placed a soft kiss just above Jason's name. "Did it hurt?"

"It hurt..." Jane paused for a second to find the right word before continuing, "it hurt good."

"It looks beautiful." Maura whispers. She traces it a few more times before she moves her hand down to rest on Jane's hip. "What were you thinking about?"

Jane shrugged before she turned to her back. "I dunno. Everything."

Maura smiled softly. "Do you want to elaborate on everything?"

Jane looked at Maura. "About us, mostly."

"What about us?" Maura asked, slightly concerned.

"Nothing. It wasn't important." Jane rushed out, trying to turn onto her side again. To face away from Maura.

Maura quickly moved her hand from Jane's hip and placed it on her shoulder, pushing down slightly. Just enough so Jane couldn't actually turn away from her. "It must have been important if you won't even talk to me about it."

Jane sat up and turned around so she was sat crossed legged facing Maura. "What if I told you I thought I was ready?" Jane rushed out.

It took Maura a few seconds to realise what Jane was going on about. "Are you?"

Jane shrugged and dropped her head into her hands, letting out a groan.

Maura sat up and pulled Jane's hands away from her face. "Sweetheart, what's going on in your head?"

Jane shrugged. She knew she had tears in her eyes and it didn't surprise her when she felt one roll down her cheek. "I just want to feel again."

Maura lifted her hand to Jane's cheek so her thumb could brush away the lone tear. "Jane, baby. I won't make love to you because you want to feel something other than what you're feeling now. You need to grief."

Jane's eyes met Maura's. "Not even if I asked you too?" Jane whispered, her voice full of emotion.

Maura shook her head softly. "No. Jane, I love you. I won't make love to you unless you're 100% certain that you want me to. You're not. You're 100% certain that you don't want to feel like this any more. That for just a while you want to forget. It might work Jane, but I'll tell you now, if it did it would only last until you came down from your orgasm, then everything will hit you like a ton of bricks again. Possibly worst than they have now. Do I make sense?"

Jane shrugged before laying back down on the bed. "I guess so." She mumbled. She was pretty sure Maura would refuse once she knew why but she still needed to ask. She just wanted to forget for a while and she thought that it might work.

Maura turned to face Jane. "Jane..." Maura sighed. "...Don't be angry with me."

Jane wasn't angry, far from it. But she didn't know what else she could do to try and forget. She didn't know how to talk to Maura any more. Not about this anyway. She didn't want to hurt her best friend with how much she was hurting, so she got it into her head that she was best hurting alone than dragging Maura down with her. Jane looked at Maura. "I'm not angry at you, Maura." Jane smiled, sadly. "I just feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle. I don't know how to get back to who I was."

"You're still you. But you're hurting right now, you just need to give yourself some time. It's only been a week and three since the funeral." Maura said, laying down on her stomach next to Jane. She pushed up so she was resting on her elbows so she could look at Jane. "How would you feel about going to see someone?"

Jane looked at Maura. "You mean a psychiatrist?"

Maura smiled softly. "I mean someone who can help you more than I might be able to."

"But you just being here is helping me, Maura. I don't wonna talk to some stranger about my son. I had to talk to some stranger after Hoyt just to get back on active duty. I don't wonna go down that road again, Maura." Jane said.

Maura nodded, "okay. It's your choice." Maura lowered her head and kissed Jane softly. "You'll never forget, Jane. But it will get a tiny bit easier every day that passes."

…

A few hour Jane and Maura were in the kitchen. They had spent most of the day in the bed and most off the time they were in completely silence. Letting each other be alone with their thoughts. Jane had insisted a few minute ago that they needed to have something to eat, before sitting down for a another quiet night in watching movies.

"Shall I cook us something or shall we just order in?" Maura asked as she leant against the kitchen island, a glass of wine in her hand.

"How about we just order in?" Jane answered. "We'll have a proper cooked meal tomorrow."

Maura nodded as she took another sip of her wine. "You know where the menu's are. It's your turn to decide what we eat tonight."

Jane nods as she walks over to where Maura keep the take away menus. Pulling them out she didn't know what she fancied to eat. She wanted something simple but she also wanted something to try and thank Maura for all she had done for her.

Maura walked up behind Jane and wrapped her arms around her waist before kissing her shoulder. "I'm just going to grab a quick shower. I won't be long."

Jane nodded before she turned around and watched Maura walk away. "Don't be too long." She shouted after Maura..

…

After Jane had finished ordering the food she grabbed a beer from the fridge and grabbed another glass of wine for Maura for when she was out of the shower. Walking to the lounge she placed Maura's wine on the coffee table before grabbing the remote for the TV. She was just about to sit down on the couch and find a decent film for them to watch when she heard someone knocking on Maura's front door. She knew it wasn't going to be the food, she had only put the phone down less than five minutes ago. She stood up and grabbed her gun from the drawer under the TV. Lately she liked having her gun close by. She was walking towards the door when Maura walked into the room.

"Jane," Maura said softly, "I'll get it."

Jane nodded. She stood back so she could see clearly who was stood at the door when Maura opened it. Still holding her weapon with her hand behind her back. Last thing she wanted was to scare someone.

Maura took one last look over her shoulder at Jane before she opened the door. The first thing she noticed about the women who stood in front of her was that she was dressed in very little clothing. The second thing she noticed was that Jason was the spitting image of her.

"Are you Jane Rizzoli?" The women asked, not in a pleasant tone.

Maura shook her head. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

Jane couldn't get a good look of the women but she heard the tone of Maura's voice and with hearing that, Jane automatically tightened her grip on her weapon. Jane watched in slow motion as the women pushed past Maura, she saw Maura grab the women's wrist as if she was trying to stop her from entering her house. She didn't know how she did it but she managed to get to Maura's side before the women even turn back at Maura. She grabbed the women's arm as she raised it to slap Maura.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Jane warned, still keeping her grip on the women's arm. She glanced at the women before she turned to Maura. "Are you okay?" She asked, concerned.

Maura nodded and dropped the women's wrist. "I'm fine." She whispered.

Jane turned her attention back to the women in front of her. "Who the hell are you?" She asked. She was beginning to regret leaving her gun on the kitchen island.

The women looked at Jane. "You're Jane Rizzoli."

Jane nodded, but still kept a tight grip on the women's arm. "I'm going to ask you one last time, before I get my cop buddies down here to throw your ass in jail for breaking into the chief Medical Examiner's house." Jane took a step closer to the women. "Who the hell are you?"

The women managed to pull her arm away from Jane. She took a few steps closer to Jane so she only a few inches away from her.

Maura closed the front door before placing a hand on Jane's arm. She didn't know anything about Jason's biological mother, as far as her and everybody else was concerned, Jane was Jason's mother. But she couldn't deny that the women who was standing in front off them now was anyone but Jason's mother. "Jane..." Maura whispered.

The women cut Maura off as soon as she started talking. "I'm Jason's mother."


	25. Chapter 25

Jane stumbles backwards until she hit the wall and she can't go any further. She can't take her eyes off the women in front off her. As much as she knows she doesn't want this to be true, she can't help but notice the unmistakable resemblance to the women and Jason. Jason was the spitting image of his mother.

Maura walked over to where Jane was leaning against the wall. She placed her hand on Jane's arm and waited a few seconds until Jane looked at her. "Are you okay, Jane?" Maura asked softly, placing her hand over Jane's, which was pressing against her gun shot wound, she pulled her hand away pulling Jane's away as well.

Jane shock her head. "She's...Jason's mother..." Jane paused for a few seconds so she could collect herself. When she finally was ready to continue talking she looked at Jason's mother. "You...you're meant to be dead. He told me you were dead."

"Let me guess...a car accident?" The woman asked. When she saw Jane nod she continued, "I was in a car accident a few year ago. Actually it was the day I left Robert."

Jane just nodded. "He said it happened a few year before I met him."

"Can we move this to the lounge?"

Maura stood forward a little but still kept her hand on Jane's arm. "Jane..."

Jane turned to face Maura. "I'm okay. Just..." Jane didn't know what she wanted to say. She lowered her head before she took a step forward. She didn't trust her legs at the minute, they felt like jelly. The quicker they got back into the living room the better.

Maura stayed by Jane, her hand had moved to Jane's lower back. "The living room is just through there." Maura said pointing towards the living room. She stayed next to Jane while she watched Jason's mother walk towards the lounge.

"Maura..." Jane said on a shaky voice. "I don't..." She paused to take a shaky breath. "I don't feel...I feel like I'm gonna faint."

"Jane..." Maura said, voice full of concern. She threw Jane's arm around her shoulders and moved her hand from Jane's lower back to wrap around her waist. "Lean on me. Let's get you to the couch."

Jane nodded. "Stay with me. Don't leave me alone with her. I can't...I not..."

"Jane, I won't leave." Maura interrupts. They step into the room and Maura can't hide the shock expression her face when Jason's mother came and grabbed Jane on the other side.

"Is she okay?" The woman asked. She saw the shocked look on Maura's face and laughed softly. "What? I'm not here to cause trouble."

Maura just nodded. "We haven't eaten today. In fact we haven't eaten much lately. Think it's just caught up with Jane. She'll be okay when she gets some food."

"Are you sure? I mean I can phone for a ambulance to take her to hospital."

Maura shook her head. "No, she'll not want to go to hospital. She'll be okay."

"I'm fine." Jane said, as she lowered herself on the couch. "I don't need an ambulance..." She looked at the woman who had just blown everything she thought was the truth out of the window. "But, I do want some answers. Who are you?"

The woman sat down opposite Jane while Maura sat next to Jane. "I'm Sarah Taylor. Jason's mother." She saw Jane lower her head and she leant over the small gap between them to place her hand on Jane's knee. "I'm not here to cause trouble and I'm defiantly not here to blame you. I'm here because I wanted to meet you, I wanted to see who my son was living with and...and I wanted to thank you, Jane."

Jane's head snapped up at the last few words hit Jane. "Thank me?" Jane questioned. When she saw Sarah nod, she asked, "thank me for what?"

Sarah smiled softly. "My boss told me that it happened because you were leaving and taking Jason with you. I was trying to take Robert to court, I wanted Jason as far away from his father as I took take him, but I needed to do it the right way so he couldn't get Jason back. I didn't want to leave New York. But you...you were willing to leave your family, friends and your job to get both of you away from him. So, yes Jane, I wanted to thank you. You put your life on the line to try and save my son. So, thank you."

"How can you thank me?" Jane asked. "I didn't get Jason out safely. How can you thank me for getting him killed?"

Sarah stood up and took a small step towards Jane before she crouched down in front of her. "Jane, do you honestly believe that Jason died because of you?" Sarah waited for an answer but after a few minutes, with still no answer from Jane, Sarah took one of Jane's hands in her own. "Jane, none of this was your fault. You was doing what was best for you and Jason and for that I'm grateful. You had the guts I never could find. Jane, _no one_ blames you for this. _I_ don't blame you for this."

Jane met Sarah's gaze. "I blame me for this." She whispered.

Sarah gave a small smile. "Well you shouldn't. You didn't know this was going to happen. On the drive down here I have blamed everyone Jane, everyone but you. Stop blaming yourself. It'll tear you apart."

Jane nodded. "That's what Maura keeps telling me."

"Because it's true." Maura says.

Jane just nodded and lowered her head again. She knew this wasn't her fault, but she couldn't stop the guilt from eating away at her. She went over everything that Sarah had said to her and if Sarah wasn't blaming her she knew she shouldn't be blaming herself either. "Wait a second..." Jane said as she remembered something Sarah had said earlier. "Your boss?" She saw the confused look on Sarah's face. "You said earlier that your boss told you what happened. Who's your boss? Where do you work? Why did he tell you about me?"

"I'm a cop, Jane. I work Vice in New York. My boss...she was helping me try and get custody of Jason. The legal way. She kept me up to date on things. But I have only just found out about this cause I was undercover, hence the clothes I'm wearing. I came straight here..." Sarah explained to Jane before turning to face Maura. "I'm sorry that I called ahead for your address. And for attempting to slap you earlier. Like I said, I'm undercover, I never know if I'm being followed."

"It's fine." Maura said, smiling softly.

Jane nodded. "He told me you were dead. That you died a year and half before I met him. I believed him. If I had known..."

"Don't..." Sarah interrupted. "Believe me I've gone through every possible scenario I can. The outcome stays the same. I just wish I could've gotten him out sooner."

"What happened between you two?" Jane asked, looking Sarah in the eyes.

"It was never physical with me. He never actually laid one finger on me. It was emotional. I only got out because I broke down one day at work in front of my boss. I went home later that day and told him I was leaving. He was okay with it, even told me himself that things weren't working out between us and it'd be for the best. I didn't take Jason because I didn't know where I was going too and I didn't want to pull him out off his home. Not when he was safe." Sarah said. "I knew he would never hurt Jason. Anyway...a few days later I woke up in hospital after being involved in a serious car crash. My boss...she told me Robert had me ran off the road, but no one could prove it."

"He tried to kill you?" Maura asked, voice full of shock.

"He was at home with Jason when it happened. But he got someone to do it. We could just never make it stick. I mean I was going after an FBI agent. He knew all the right people in the right places. More than what I do and a lot higher than I know people. We didn't stand a chance." Sarah explained.

"A few weeks later he moved to New York." Jane said, more of a statement than a question.

Sarah nodded. "I've not seen him since but I knew where he was. He didn't cover his tracks. It's like he was daring me to come after him and Jason. I was going to, but my boss, Amanda, she made me realise that I needed to do this the right way. I've been fighting ever since, but it's hard when he keeps getting people to put the breaks on everything, or to scare my lawyers."

"I'm..." Jane started but went quiet again when there was knock at the door. "That'll be dinner." Jane said.

"I'll get it." Maura smiled as she stood up and went to answer the door.

A few minute later Maura walked back into the lounge. "Sarah, do you want some Chinese?"

Sarah turned to face Maura and stood up. "No, thank you. I actually have to get going."

Jane stood up. "You could...I mean if you want, you can stay."

Sarah smiled. "I'm still on the clock, Jane. But..." She paused as she dug about in her bag, once she found what she was looking for she looked back at Jane and handed her a card. "Here's my number. Call me if you ever want anything. Or if you happen to be in New York some time. I'd love to get to know you better."

"I will. Thank you." Jane smiled for the first time since Sarah came into her life. "Are you sure you don't want to stay? There's plenty of food."

Sarah smiled. "I wish I could, Jane. But I have a long drive back and they'll start asking questions soon."

Jane handed Sarah a piece of paper. "Then at least phone or text me when you get home safely." Jane took a few steps closer so she could walk Sarah to the door but she felt a hand press against her shoulder.

"Jane..." Sarah said, "sit down. You need to eat something before you attempt to do any walking. Maura will see me out." Sarah smiled as she leant forward and placed a kiss to Jane's cheek. "I mean it, Jane, stop blaming yourself." She whispered before she moved away and headed towards the door.

Once Maura and Sarah were at the front door and out of ear shot from Jane. Maura spoke up, "I want to thank you, for not blaming Jane. She's been through a lot, and I don't know what she would have done if you showed up here blaming her."

"I meant what I said, Maura. I never once blamed her. I couldn't, she was there for my son when I wasn't. If anyone's to blame it's me. I'll never forgive myself for leaving Jason that day." Sarah said, taking in a few deep breaths. She knew she had tears in her eyes, but she promised herself she wouldn't cry until she was alone. Sarah opened the door before turning back to look at Maura. "Tell Jane she can phone whenever she wants. Goodbye, Maura. Again I'm sorry about the ambush."

Maura smiled. "Don't worry about it. Bye Sarah. It was nice meeting you."

"You too." Sarah said as she took a few steps outside before stopping and turning to face Maura again. "Look after Jane."

"I will." Maura answered. She watched Sarah get into her car and waited until she could no longer she car before she closed the door and went back inside to serve dinner.


	26. Chapter 26

Maura watched Jane from the kitchen, she couldn't believe that Sarah was Jason's biological mother. She saw the resemblance, and she knew it was without a doubt true, she just couldn't believe that she was in her house, that she was sat next to Jane, comforting Jane as she cried about not being able to get Jason out of the house safely. Maura believed everything Sarah had said, she knew Sarah didn't blame Jane for what had happened. In fact she could tell that Sarah blamed herself.

After plating up the food she walked back into the room and handed Jane a plate. "What would you like to drink?" Maura asked softly.

Jane was so lost in thought she barely heard Maura speaking to her, she was pulled out of her thoughts when she saw the plate of food in Maura's hands waiting for her to take it. "What did you say?" Jane rasped out.

"What would you like to drink?" Maura repeated. "Beer, water, wine?"

"I'll have a beer please."

Maura nodded before walking back into the kitchen to get Jane a beer and herself a glass of wine. Once she was seated next to Jane, they both eat relatively silent, with the TV on just as background noise. Either of them was paying any attention to the program that was on.

…

Jane had gone to bed not long after they had picked at their takeaway. Neither of them had eaten much. Maura was just finishing up in the kitchen, after feeding both Bass and Jo Friday. She told Jane she wouldn't be long until she came to bed. That was just over an hour ago. She had put it off knowing Jane would want a little time alone to think things through. Maura couldn't find anything to do now to keep her mind busy, so she decided to go and join Jane in bed and try and get some sleep.

She had just turned the kitchen light off when someone knocked on the front door. She was tempted to ignore it and just pretend she didn't hear it, until whoever it was knocked louder this time. She huffed before she opened the door to find a very angry looking Angela Rizzoli stood on her door step.

"Angela?" Maura smiled as politely as she could.

"Where is my daughter?" Angela asked.

"She's in bed, I'm presuming she will be asleep, she has had a very difficult day." Maura replied, hoping Angela would just leave it as that and say goodnight.

"Don't lie to me, she isn't even here is she?" Angela snapped.

"Of course she is. I've just told you she is in bed."

"So why when I came around earlier, was there a prostitute leaving your house?" Angela shouted.

Maura had to laugh, or Angela was really going to see her bad side. Of all the things Angela had done what had pissed Jane off these past few days, she thought she could forgive. But now having Angela practically accuse her of sleeping with a prostitute, that she wasn't sure if she could forgive.

"How dare you?" Maura relied. "You knock Jane down as much as you can in the past few days, enough to make her drive all the way New York just to see me. You try and set her up with Frankie friend when you know she's admitted her feeling towards me. And now you come into my house when my girlfriend is asleep and accuse me of sleeping with a prostitute? I don't get what your problem is Angela. I know it's got nothing to do with Jane. So it must be about me?" Maura took a deep breath before continuing, "I'm sorry Angela, but I can't help you get over your problem with me. And until you do, it might be wise for you and me to steer clear of each other."

It was at that very second when Maura noticed Jane out of the corner of her eye. She instantly felt a little guilty, but mostly because she saw the look on Jane's face. Jane smiled at her to let her know it wasn't her she was mad at.

"Ma," Jane snapped. "Just go."

Angela took a step towards her daughter. "Jane, she lying to you."

"About what, Ma?" Jane replied. "The so called prostitute?" Jane had to stifle a laugh when she saw her mothers face. "She wasn't a prostitute Ma. She works for New York Vice. She was undercover. Her name is Sarah." Jane took a deep breath before continuing, "she's Jason's biological mother."

Angela took a deep breath. She couldn't believe what her daughter had just said. She saw Maura lower her head, she was shocked when Maura looked back up with tears in her eyes. They all had thought of Jane as Jason's mother, even though they all knew the truth, Jane had always treated Jason as her own. "Can I come in?" She asked softly, looking at Maura.

Maura nodded. "Yes." She replied, while moving out of Angela's way. She left Jane and Angela alone in the room and went to her bedroom hoping that tonight, everything would be sorted for once with Jane and her mother. And hoping she and Angela could sort things out tonight as well. She always hated arguing with any of the Rizzoli's especially Angela Rizzoli as she had always thought of her as a mother figure.

It was around 11pm when Angela got up to leave. Jane had spent the last few hours talking to her about Sarah, about her and Maura and listening to what her mother had to say about trying to set Jane up. Angela pulled her daughter into a hug, "thank you for listening to me and letting me explain my actions. I'm sorry about the way I handled it all."

Jane smiled as she pulled out the hug. "It's ok Ma. But you need to talk to Maura before you leave. I'll call pop and tell him you're staying here for the night. Give you and Maura some time to talk properly."

Angela nodded. She knew Jane was right. She had sorted things out with her daughter, now she had to sort things out with, who she considered to be her second daughter.


End file.
